relationship

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_42217, Nov 21, 2008.

  1. B_42217

    B_42217 New Member

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    relationship.. so much work and the rarely work out, for me the prob never work out esp recently wat ever is up...
    Do u think leading the single life is better, or should we find someone we want to be with??
    Im just after breaking up with someone after a few weeks of being together and i have just gave up on findin someone..:frown1::frown1:
    wat should i do, or if u were in the same situation.. wat did u do?!
     
  2. Principessa

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    I need more info, your post is kind of generic. What has ended your past relationships? How old are you? Are you in school or do you work?
     
  3. nudeyorker

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    Well...You need to think about nudeyorkers guide to dating and relationships... One date is a one night stand more or less. One date that leads to something that lasts a few months is a fling! From a few months to a year is an affair...if things don't work out in that period of time; falls into noting ventured nothing gained. When you have been with someone longer than a year and things don't work out you have to ask yourself...What did I do right here, what did I do wrong that I can improve. What did the other person do that contributed to the success and failure here? Take what you have learned and move on...but don't give up on it unless you want to spend the rest of your life alone...Some people do, but they spend their time playing victim instead of facing the facts.
     
  4. SilverSoldier

    SilverSoldier New Member

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    There are problems with EVERY relationship. Even the ones that broke up for me, were worth what I learned and gained.

    I also believe that instead of looking for the perfect mate, you have to become the person you dream about finding. And then, when you least expect it, that person shows up (usually). However, note that even though they show up doesn't mean you're not in for working out problems and kinks. It takes a lot of both people putting their egos aside long enough to determine if love will continue to grow. At least that's how it seems to work for me.

    Love is not for keeping. It's worthless if all you do is keep it because you're afraid of losing it again. Love is only good for giving, and when you give it genuinely, people stand in line. No one has to be lonely.
     
  5. Phil Ayesho

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    Well said.

    Stop thinking about what you want and start thinking about what you have to offer.
     
  6. goodwood

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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by SilverSoldier [​IMG]
    I also believe that instead of looking for the perfect mate, you have to become the person you dream about finding.
    Love is not for keeping. It's worthless if all you do is keep it because you're afraid of losing it again. Love is only good for giving, and when you give it genuinely, people stand in line. No one has to be lonely.



    This is true. But I have become the person i want in a mate. I thought I had that, but i was mistaken. i am always looking.
    42217 - i say keep looking. it's exhausting to be sure, but being alone is not so much fun. It's not what i want anyway. take some time to recover, go about being yourself without any thought to finding the next one and perhaps s/he will be right there or at least, you will have gotten the last one out of your system and be able to recognize the potential in the next one. best of luck.
     
  7. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    At the conclusion of a relationship we all feel like crap, especially if you are the dumpee. But i think with time hormones and curiosity get you off your ass and looking for love (or sex) again
     
  8. Corius

    Corius New Member

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    To give up on relationships is to give up on life; real living is to be in relationship. No one is complete in him or herself. The beauty of life in relationship is that one finds oneself enriched (and sometimes put down--not all relationships are healthy) but one can also have the satisfaction of seeing the life of the other person enriched as one gives of oneself.

    To have friends one must be a friend. That means one has to learn to reach out to others. Not all relationships have a sexual element in them but they are all valuable to the degree that one truly invests a part of oneself in them. To love is to seek the good of the other for the sake of the other rather than one's own. Again, the beauty of the relationship of love is that there is that possibility of return for oneself as well. Those who have known love know that they have received more than they even imagine they have given.

    Too many of us have learned that when we pay attention only to what our bodies tell us we miss out on what our bodies cannot deliver. A mindless search for the thrils of sex does not give us that feeling of completeness we so desire. My own sense of this is that when one has bonded in friendship and love with another person one has reached the stage where sex happens because two persons find that they want and need to express their feelings of love that way. Such sex is thrilling as sex should be but it is transforming as well. In it one feels completed and the bond between partners is confirmed and strengthened.

    To the OP I would simply say that none of this comes about without effort. But, the rewards are great. When one has loved and been loved in return one knows that life can and is beautiful. YOU JUST CAN'T DO THIS BY YOURSELF; NOR CAN YOU ENJOY IT BY YOURSELF. LIFE IS RELATIONSHIP.

     
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