relationship

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by martinez5, Jul 19, 2008.

  1. martinez5

    martinez5 New Member

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    i have actually spent my life trying to be straight. the other day some guy texted me and said one of my other friends said he should talk to me.
    he turned out to be an amazing guy and when i met him face to face he was even better.

    since i have spent my life away from this stuff, this is the first time i've been in this situation.

    what i'm asking is, how does a gay relationship work? maybe you could tell me how yours have worked, i don't care, i just need something to go on.
    i don't want to lose him.
     
  2. slate_australis

    slate_australis New Member

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    It might suprise you - but the mechanics of the relationship really aren't that different.

    What you expect from the other person is no different.

    If you care about someone - then you care about them.
     
  3. Ickday

    Ickday Member

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    Yup, slate_australis has it right. There's nothing really different except for the sexes of the people involved. lol.

    If you're 'out' or not can make a difference, for example the me and first guy (and last) I was with are both closetcases so we had to sneak around behind the scenes. It almost makes it more fun.... haha
     
  4. martinez5

    martinez5 New Member

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    i'm definitely not out. i know a lot of people would shun me, and i know they're not my real friends, but i'm just not ready to deal with finding out who really cares.

    the closet's comfy anyway:smile:
     
  5. Ickday

    Ickday Member

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    I do believe someone's signature on lpsg is "Be who you are and say what you feel, Because those that matter... Don't mind. And those that mind... DON'T MATTER."

    I LOVE that quote. You seem to know who your real friends are, though. And I agree about dealing with who cares, for now.

    Hmm. the font on this post got messed up and won't fix. XD
     
  6. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    who can say? from what I've read, from I've seen, gay relationships don't work

    my friends are all straight

    the gays I know I just interact with for sex

    but who knows? maybe it is possible, I just haven't seen or experienced it
     
  7. sam_solo26

    sam_solo26 New Member

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    I'm confused about your wording. How were you "trying" to be straight?

    As for your questions, in principle they are as different as any straight/bisexual/pansexual/transexual/ etc. relationship. Putting aside comments like, "it depends on the person", generally speaking the chemistry and hormonal productions in men and women do mean that a heterosexual relationship will probably operate in a different way than homosexual relationships. To detail these basic differences between the sexes here would be long-winded, probably fairly inaccurate, and targets for many feminists and the nature/nurture debate. :tongue:

    What do you want? What does he want? Where do both of you see yourselves in 20 years if long-term is what both of you are looking for? Do you both want children, and would you have problems with alternative conception methods if adoption wasn't your thing? What the power structure in your relationship so far? Does he do things that annoy you to no end and there would be no compromise for? (Notice I said things, and even then they would have to be big things.) Are your jobs and interests compatible in as far as they benefit your similar long/short-term goals? Do you both simply want sex with the same gender? What kinds of problems would a homosexual relationship pose for your other friendly and familial relationships? And so forth...

    Note that most of these questions are exactly what you would ask of any romantic partner. Have fun learning this stuff about the other person. :biggrin1:
     
  8. Stephenmass

    Gold Member

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    I was "in the closet" for quite some time until I found a partner that I am with and live with. When holidays and things come around, when I was in the closet I find myself leaving the most important person in my life home and that was more unacceptable to me than letting whoever was important to me that he was, in fact, my partner. Luckily, for me, I guess I didn't let out any big secret. They all knew anyway and adore Carlos (my partner) for everything he is and how he treats them. Gay thankfully doesn't even seem to be a factor.

    About the only place I've never come right out and said I am gay is at work. I figure they don't need to come out as straights, I don't need to come out as gay. It is something about "coming out" that I don't understand. Way I look at it these days, for those that don't want to accept it, not my problem, it's their problem. And for those that do, I feel much more free in my life to be who I really am instead of presenting that damn facade all the time.

    For those of you in the closet I don't judge you and it's your choice to make obviously. In my case, as I became long term partnered, it was important they all knew so I never have to leave him home, or him me for that matter. It's so much easier!!!
     
  9. Supersized

    Supersized New Member

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    I think gay realtionships are different from straight ones. The sex starts sooner, and, guys treat you better than women do. That has been my experience.
     
  10. martinez5

    martinez5 New Member

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    this has all been pretty helpful in the fact that you all think i should understand what i want and go for it. no matter what anyone else(except him) wants.
     
  11. B_josh762

    B_josh762 New Member

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    You will just have to let things happen naturally. If you are kind and caring to each other everything will fall in place.

     
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