relationships and bisexual men

[Mastur]

Extremely well-put. I totally agree.

a very interesting but complex question. I am basically straight, and have a serious girlfriend who I love and have a gr8 sex life I am Very attracted to women!

However, I also have a purely physical attraction to certain guys.. few and far between but it's there. I am able to look at a male face, body and cock with great delight. In addition, I had physical relationships with guys when I was at school, mostly oral and mutual wanks etc. This was before I slept with women. i think back with very fond memories though and would do it all again!

So, based on the above most men would say that I am bisexual, and cannot say I am "basically straight". However, I have never been in love with a guy or had that warm fuzzy feeling or emotional attachment with a man. I can honestly say that I could never see myself dating a guy. I just find it possible to be attracted to certain guys and fantasize about those schoolday experiences or the possibility of a MMF threesome where the guys have contact...

In my view true bisexuality refers to people who can have a physical and emotional relationship with either sex.

So the best thing is to think of it as a scale from 100% straight, through to 50/50 and finally 100% gay ( a theory discussed in many places on LPSG). I also think one needs to separate physical attraction from emotional. So on the physical side I consider myself 80% straight and 20% gay.. but emotionally I consider myself 100% straight.

That's my 10 cents worth

 

[bigbull29]

I cant stand the people who want to out guys as gay, when they are like me, sometimes they want the company of a guy.

Very unfortunate.

People can only process human sexuality as black or white; that is "all gay" OR "all straight." All the vast grey area of human sexuality is just ignored. And that just goes to show how unaware most people are of their true sexuality.

I have the exactly opposite situation from Jules. I can't imagine just have what he calls an "physical" relationship with anybody. If I'm having sex and making love with another person, girl or guy, how do I separate my feelings about them? Even though I can call it just physical, emotions do happen during sex, especially if I'm making out with the other person. I've even experienced this when I've was just jerking off with boys when I was a kid and in high school. I still felt something for them. It wasn't like I didn't care anything about them. In fact the guys I would jerk off with were close buddies and I did have feelings for them. That was why I felt comfortable about wanking with them. I'm always amazed at how many of us can separate intimate feelings about others with little or no concern.

I know what you're saying there. I could never have sex with people "with no strings attached". It's just not in my make-up.

 

[Beanie]

yes, peaople have to learn that there is a hell of a lot more to sexuality than 'black or white' as im sure a lot of people who visit these forums have had to learn and are probably still learning but then again if you are not exposed to the information and class your self as 'one thing and nothing else' say str8 or gay, then you wouldnt know about it.

just proves that we all have a lot to learn even when we think we know it all...

 

[D_Harrison Board]

Wow. Lots of long responces here. I couldn't possibly read them all to get up to speed. But here is my reply. I have been bi sence I was a teenager. I even remember declearing myself bi when I was 19 (now 50). Through out my life I primarily dated women. I never cheated on any of my girlfriends. I often would check out guys and gay porn, but I don't see that as anything differant than say an older guy checking out a young hot babes on the beach. Just becouse a man is on a diet does not mean he can't look at the menu.
I have have many casual sex experances, threesomes, and a few orgies. All of which were when I was not attached to someone. Although there was this one chick that I dated who was straight but she did play around with girls a few times. We had a few foursomes with anouther couple.

I have been married now for 14 years and I have never been with anyone other than my wife. I still enjoy looking a men and fantsizing about having sex with them. I also still considermyself bi and I probably always will.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

yes, peaople have to learn that there is a hell of a lot more to sexuality than 'black or white' as im sure a lot of people who visit these forums have had to learn and are probably still learning but then again if you are not exposed to the information and class your self as 'one thing and nothing else' say str8 or gay, then you wouldnt know about it.

just proves that we all have a lot to learn even when we think we know it all...

It feels as if I keep repeating myself about this over and over again. Does anyone else here feel that being bi isn't primarily about who you want to have sex with but maybe it's more about who you love? I'm not attracted to all women or all men. In reality I find that I'm attracted emotionally and physically to individual people. Even though some girl or guy may be attractive or sexy looking to a majority of people, they may not be to me. I especially find this true here where I live in Los Angeles. There are stereo-types of beauty and sexiness here that don't ring true to me. Most of it is based on media projections in advertising.

So for me it's a lot easier in life to know myself, my wants and needs, and then to connect with others who resonate with me, rather than feeling some general lust for people. It seems so futile to spend much time pursuing or lusting after "hotties" if there's no chemistry between us. Maybe this is a more complex way of looking at bisexuality in that it requires all of us to know ourselves before we go chasing after fantasies. Maybe it's also not a value for people who want to get laid immediately.

 

[Beanie]

@frenum8: thanks very much for you input, proves to me that what i had hope for in a relationship with a bisexual man is not just possible, but likely

@Hung Jon: im sorry that you feel like you have to repeat yourself, this goes back to what i was saying about people not understanding enough about bisexuality leaving you to almost defend yourself all the time. i can be sure as im not bisexual myself but i think the most basic level of bisexuality for people to understand, is that bisexuals are attracted to the person regardless of gender, and are therefore much more open than us who are just attracted to a single gender then the 'person' within that gender, am i making sense?

 

[bobbaxkan]

Well, i have not posted in years. I enjoy reading these forums from time to time as they have extreamly interesting and frank discussion on alot of topics that franky I can no discuss else where!

This just so happens to be one such topic. I personaly view myself as a bisexual and to be honest I do feel outside presure to "choose". Ok of course the reality is I can never really "choose" because i will allways be who I am.

Frankly sometimes I dislike being both, I can honestly see why people would stay well away from me because I ask myself would i take the risk myself?

I have very strong physical and emotional attractions to both sexes, I have had girlfriends and boyfriends. I have had both short and long term relationships. When I was in a long term relationship believe it or not i was the one who got burnt, not my ex-partner.

I guess if you truely care for the person involved you stay true to them. But that being said. Bisexual people amongst us when they make the choice to "settle down" i guess are making a choice and that choice is to stop pursuing part of themself by saying "right no more cock or no more pussy for me", now that is a question that opens a can of worms.

Honestly I see the point here and while i don't expect to have people be hostile towards me for the fact i like both i certain respect people to walk away from me, because honestly i can truley understand there worries!

 

[B_RedDude]

After reading responses from bi guys I find myself coming back around to my original question: Wouldn't bi men have the greatest chance of success in a relationship with another bisexual, be they male or female? It seems that there would be some shared understanding there that wouldn't be present if one were with someone who was straight or gay.

 

[D_Evita_Zane]

After reading responses from bi guys I find myself coming back around to my original question: Wouldn't bi men have the greatest chance of success in a relationship with another bisexual, be they male or female? It seems that there would be some shared understanding there that wouldn't be present if one were with someone who was straight or gay.

I would love that. It's not fair to be with a gay guy and then go back to girls, or to be with a girl and go back to guys. It's just not fair to them (they can't compete with the opposite sex).

My most recent ex-gf was very cool/understanding with me being bi, and I was only ever with her during our relationship. Regardless of faithfulness you still can't control the other feelings you have.

I think it's difficult for girls to accept because they (and most people) don't picture guys as "bi" they're either straight or gay. I also think a lot of gay guys think that bi guys just don't want to accept being gay and want to hold on to pussy just for appearances. At least in my experience it's hard to find someone in the middle.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

I would love that. It's not fair to be with a gay guy and then go back to girls, or to be with a girl and go back to guys. It's just not fair to them (they can't compete with the opposite sex).

Yeah, it's still a big punch in the gut to be left for the other sex. Can see why someone would for you though. :smile2: