I agree with DC in that we all want to think we're givers We're taught that giving is always good and unselfish, taking from others is a purely selfish act, and sharing means everything is equally divided, which isn't always true. Sometimes people give because they expect something in return, or take because they want and appreciate whatever their partner wants to share of themselves, or one may offer more of themselves than their partner does.
Relationships are seasonal. The ebb and flow of relationships depend on one partner needing more attention than the other at any given time. I've found my relationships to be much more fulfilling after realizing this some time ago. Otherwise we worry about whether our partner's giving has conditions or not and manipulation often follows. The potential to learn how to freely accept and give unconditionally is probably the single most unique quality humans possess. Jung asserted that the unconsious reveals itself in the least developed areas of ourselves and if that's true, retaining a certain objectivity about our actions is not always possible.
Since i'm thinking out loud, i'll say i've learned that I want to give freely and receive from others-in any type of relationship-without regret or reservation. Do I think I succeed most of the time? Yes. But I also remember what Jung said and try to make personal developmental adjustments as needed along the way. Interestingly, these necessary adjustments are not always the result of sudden intuitive realizations but are sometimes brought to my attention by others.. :redface:
