Relationships, Monogamy And Trust

Sagittarius84

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Ive seen her porn..lol It doesnt concern nor involve me so i dont really think about it other than the jokingly hard time ive given her about it. As far as chatting we established in the beginning that was infidelity so we're on the honor system which as far as I know we've both adhered to...
 

Tactfulgal

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Do you ever wonder what your partner looks at on their phones? Do you think they are looking at porn or chatting?

I have to have trust in order to want to be in a relationship. If I don't trust a guy, there are bigger problems. I also know that I tend to be someone who is very open with a partner in terms of being honest about wants, preferences, etc. And I don't have a problem with a guy I'm with having an attraction to someone else, I think that's natural and it goes both ways. But if monogamy becomes difficult or if attraction happens in the shadows, that's a red flag.
 
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i dont check up on her. if she was looking at porn or flirting with somebody she knows i would love to know about it.
 

elklindoxxx

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Well you have to establish the ground rules of the relationship. I don't go around checking what my partner is doing on her mobile devices and vice versa. We have an open relationship and we swing with other couples so we are both checking out to see if there are any other couples we can hook up with.

So I don't go around worrying about who she's chatting with or what porn she's rubbing her pussy off to...I think that's counterproductive.
 
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marriedasian

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there's a thing called "trust" and it's all you've got. the reality of life is that your partner could be doing anything naughty when you're not around and there's nothing you can do about it or know about it. it's a fact of reality that we all need to accept or it will eat us alive mentally. it's not good for the long-term and paranoia will kill every relationship it visits.

trust in your partner that they will behave in the best interest of your relationship. continue to better yourself each day so that your partner knows your value. check up on them every so often. there's the old phrase of "trust but verify" that needs to be acted on every so often. it doesn't have to be so probing as installing hidden cameras or keyloggers but maybe just ask for your partners phone out of the blue and see if they hand it to you without hesitation.

i can ask for my wife's phone anytime or anywhere and she will hand it over no-questions or hesitations. i do the same for her. in fact, i don't even lock my phone. same goes for our laptops too.

if you can't trust your partner then ask yourself why you're still around? life is too short, go get a better relationship and a better life.
 
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Tactfulgal

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there's a thing called "trust" and it's all you've got. the reality of life is that your partner could be doing anything naughty when you're not around and there's nothing you can do about it or know about it. it's a fact of reality that we all need to accept or it will eat us alive mentally. it's not good for the long-term and paranoia will kill every relationship it visits.

trust in your partner that they will behave in the best interest of your relationship. continue to better yourself each day so that your partner knows your value. check up on them every so often. there's the old phrase of "trust but verify" that needs to be acted on every so often. it doesn't have to be so probing as installing hidden cameras or keyloggers but maybe just ask for your partners phone out of the blue and see if they hand it to you without hesitation.

i can ask for my wife's phone anytime or anywhere and she will hand it over no-questions or hesitations. i do the same for her. in fact, i don't even lock my phone. same goes for our laptops too.

if you can't trust your partner then ask yourself why you're still around? life is too short, go get a better relationship and a better life.

I couldn't be in a relationship with someone I don't trust, so I agree if trust isn't there, the relationship is doomed. I also think it's important to be able to trust yourself to perceive someone's character. I know some may disagree, but it's my subjective observation that among people I know, the more emotionally stable/self-aware people are much less likely to get cheated on. I have to think this is because they have better instinct in picking a partner.
 
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neutrno

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He doesn't like to watch porn in his phone. He uses his laptop for that.

When he's long on his phone, it's usually Facebook. It's so interesting that he uses Facebook! I'd never have guessed he'd use it, but he has friends who do, so...

He also likes Youtube and Wikipedia.
 

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Well you have to establish the ground rules of the relationship. I don't go around checking what my partner is doing on her mobile devices and vice versa. We have an open relationship and we swing with other couples so we are both checking out to see if there are any other couples we can hook up with.

So I don't go around worrying about who she's chatting with or what porn she's rubbing her pussy off to...I think that's counterproductive.
That’s awesome when you’re in a open relationship. When you’re not it raises issues.