Hi, curious to know how long you have been in a relationship and what sexual urges you have regarding other people… Are they just fantasy or would you really like to have sexual encounters with other people than you partner? How do you deal with these desires? Camming? Chat? Sexting, porn or just your imagination?
Relationships, Sex, Desires
- Thread starter erpap
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I'm only sexually interested in whomever I'm in a romantic relationship with (aka demisexual). Other real world people are not sexually exciting to me.
Porn etc. is still exciting because I compartmentalize the actors as objects, not real world people.
Porn etc. is still exciting because I compartmentalize the actors as objects, not real world people.
Visual appearance is the primary driver of my sexual attraction, and there is a vast spectrum within that attraction which means I probably find the majority of women I come across as sexually attractive.
But I value the commitments I make over all, so having done so and formed a monogamous construct with my wife, I deal with excess desire through porn and imagination. I would gladly explore a polyamorous methodology in order to fulfill my needs, but not without the enthusiastic cooperation of my wife, or her unforeseen absence.
But I value the commitments I make over all, so having done so and formed a monogamous construct with my wife, I deal with excess desire through porn and imagination. I would gladly explore a polyamorous methodology in order to fulfill my needs, but not without the enthusiastic cooperation of my wife, or her unforeseen absence.
uncut7in
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I was in a loving relationship with as guy for over 4 years. Even though we could only meet and fuck about twice a month, I was never tempted to stray and fuck anyone else.
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When I was 20 I was in a relationship with a rape survivor. With the exception of one time, it was a sexless relationship (understandably). I was with her for 2 years.
There were certain rules I had to follow in the bedroom. She didn't mind giving me a handjob, I was allowed to rub her clit and occasionally I was allowed to lick her clit too but absolutely no insertion of my fingers or cock for obvious reasons.
I don't cheat and I don't do open relationships, never have, never will. I handled my urges by using my imagination and porn. I think like most men would understand, once you cum, your brain gets it's blood back and you carry on with the rest of your day.
At the time I loved her too much to disrespect her by sexting other people or anything like that. For me that's crossing a line.
There were certain rules I had to follow in the bedroom. She didn't mind giving me a handjob, I was allowed to rub her clit and occasionally I was allowed to lick her clit too but absolutely no insertion of my fingers or cock for obvious reasons.
I don't cheat and I don't do open relationships, never have, never will. I handled my urges by using my imagination and porn. I think like most men would understand, once you cum, your brain gets it's blood back and you carry on with the rest of your day.
At the time I loved her too much to disrespect her by sexting other people or anything like that. For me that's crossing a line.
been together 2yrs and we both acknowledge there are other attractive guys (we're gay) out there but we respect each other, have committed to each other and our sex life is great, why would we risk it? The grass is never greener on the other side and if you've found a good'un then keep em.
I am for free love, so I would really go for being a open couple (with all precautions for health ofc).
Since my partner is not for open couple, I use porn, chat with people, and we do some roleplaying.
She knows what I do and sometimes I show her something if it's hot (like pics or vid that people sent me).
Anyone is aware of the situation and it's working. Tbh I still hope that she will change into a more open lifestyle, but I am not forcing that (would be pointless).
Since my partner is not for open couple, I use porn, chat with people, and we do some roleplaying.
She knows what I do and sometimes I show her something if it's hot (like pics or vid that people sent me).
Anyone is aware of the situation and it's working. Tbh I still hope that she will change into a more open lifestyle, but I am not forcing that (would be pointless).
Just curious where do her apprehensions lie as far as an open situation? Is it an obvious aversion for her to be engaging with other people, or does it seem more like a fear of your engagement with someone instead of her? Do you think if you provided a space where she could dabble outwards but you wouldn't she'd be more enthusiastic, or is she even open and honest as to why she's opposed?
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I have been with my wife for over 15 years and yes, I still fantasize about other women, but I do not take any action on it. That stays in my imagination, and memories of my sexual past.
In a past relationship, which was not monogamous, even she was adverse to going to a swing club. She did try to initiate a 3-some once (MFM) but we had no condoms with us so I wasn't willing to go any further.
If it had proceeded, it was going to be strictly M - F - M with no male to male contact whatsoever.
In a past relationship, which was not monogamous, even she was adverse to going to a swing club. She did try to initiate a 3-some once (MFM) but we had no condoms with us so I wasn't willing to go any further.
If it had proceeded, it was going to be strictly M - F - M with no male to male contact whatsoever.
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