Relationships with a Bisexual.

rugbydude

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hmm...let's see...ok. i did fall in love with a bi chick many moons ago. she was in a girls-only "stage" and so i had to let her go as there's no WAY i could satisfy her. if i somehow fell for a bi guy (extremely unlikely but hey! things change unexpectedly)...then i'd be FAR more concerned about being dumped by him for a guy than a girl. i can't compete with a vagina! it's about common ground...
 

dannymawg

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I am finding myself leaning alot more heavily to the "gay side" of bisexuality.

As a guy who likes to label, and have definitions for his own well being, that is what I have classified bisexuality to be... I am curious to see some other opinions if they differ from my own
Not much here. Stick "lately" on the end of the "gay side" sentence and you have my situation.

I've been in love with women, to the point of reviewing the points of procreation - "what will the babies look like" is still a very prominent thought when women are about. But I can't handle the emotional baggage that comes with them. I've been burnt, and not nearly as much as some I've seen.

I've had a major crush on a guy that I used to hook up with - over the years I really admired his life and accomplishments, as well as his huge, hot Samoan body. No crush on any one person has been so great. And I haven't heard from him in months. So I've known both sides, and am starting to deal with it - like a man, they say.

It's evident there's much wit and consciousness on this site, despite its joke premise. Keep it comin :D

And might this be where the concept of loving a member of the same sex enters the argument? Aside from the carnal pleasures?
 

rawbone8

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There seems to be a lot of concern here about some percieved "additional risks" of losing someone who is bisexual. Is it that they have more potential suitors? I'd think it depends on the individual more than the orientation.

If being bisexual generally means that a person can never have fulfilling and satisfying sex with only one person (or sexual gender), then it might require a negotiation of conditions and terms of behaviour that are likely to work as a couple.

Is it monogamy? That's customary in the bulk of relationships, based on customs and perhaps the morality one is raised to value and believe is correct.

Is an open relationship with limits?

Is there room for outside sex? Is there room for an outside lover for whom deeper feelings of affection and love can be accepted as not threatening?

In the open relationship is it also agreeable for the straight partner to have lovers on the side?

I raise these questions because a bisexual woman I know insists that in any relationship she has with a guy, she must be able to have a female lover, otherwise she could not be happy. I asked if her hetero male partner could then sleep with other women, and to my dismay she said no.

Her argument was that she, as a bisexual, had a desire for sex with women, which was a essential need that her male partner could not satisfy because of his sex. If her male partner was bisexual, she saw nothing wrong with him having a male lover, for the same reason. However, IF he slept with another woman that would indicate that he found sex with her unfulfilling, so it would be cheating, and grounds for the end of the relationship.

I thought that was extremely illogical. Monogamy is totally un-natural to start with, and we only agree to limit our sexual partners to either simplify and reduce risks, and out of the desire to demonstrate actions that attest to our partner that they are special, and worth the effort. And to concentrate our affections into the package we revere as "love".

I have had several lovers who were bisexual women. I observed interesting variations in what it meant to them to be bisexual. Some had lived as lesbians for a time. One was always in a male-female couple, and had flings with girls on the side. One said she could only be in deeply in love with a man, but loved fucking women. It was funny that we could look at women together, and share observations about their attractive qualities, in that most straight women find that threatening or disrespectful. They were creative, crazy funny, intelligent and uninhibited in many ways. Some had nasty childhoods involving sexual abuse. Unique individuals, all of them.


The relationships were fairly short, so we never got to the point where we made any plans together. More than one offered to bust my 3some cherry by getting a female to join us. Nothing ever happened. Talk. Just talk I tell you. :tongue:
 

Nitrofiend

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There seems to be a lot of concern here about some percieved "additional risks" of losing someone who is bisexual. Is it that they have more potential suitors? I'd think it depends on the individual more than the orientation.

I have had several lovers who were bisexual women. I observed interesting variations in what it meant to them to be bisexual. Some had lived as lesbians for a time. One was always in a male-female couple, and had flings with girls on the side. One said she could only be in deeply in love with a man, but loved fucking women. It was funny that we could look at women together, and share observations about their attractive qualities, in that most straight women find that threatening or disrespectful. They were creative, crazy funny, intelligent and uninhibited in many ways. Some had nasty childhoods involving sexual abuse. Unique individuals, all of them.

The relationships were fairly short, so we never got to the point where we made any plans together. More than one offered to bust my 3some cherry by getting a female to join us. Nothing ever happened. Talk. Just talk I tell you. :tongue:

:werd: That's exactly how it is with my gf, but lemme tell you: It's not all talk -- not for me:wink:.
 

B_andy112311

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Yes, of course. These and many other ignorant assumptions.
Aids is a result of sex, period.

Another bi basher who believes bisexuals are the root of the problem? Hmmmm..... makes me wonder.


They did bring AIDS into the straight community, and now it's happening to African American women at alarming rates. It's called "down low". Look it up. Someone even took the time to write a book about it.
 

dannymawg

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They did bring AIDS into the straight community, and now it's happening to African American women at alarming rates. It's called "down low". Look it up. Someone even took the time to write a book about it.
OMG. "Down low". That's too funny.

Dude, I can't believe how backwards you are, or that your posts warrant any further explanation to you.

You're even too dumb to use the multi-quote feature. Go away.
 

fortiesfun

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They did bring AIDS into the straight community, and now it's happening to African American women at alarming rates. It's called "down low". Look it up. Someone even took the time to write a book about it.

Perhaps you should take the time to read that book. It says a great many things, but not that bi men are solely responsible for the AIDS epidemic in America. I know of no reputable source that doesn't think that AIDS made the jump into the "straight community" through intravenous drug users and was first widely spread to the straight population by infected prostitutes.

The reason people so repeatedly challenge you, Andy, is because you have the oddest habit of adding 1 + 1 and getting 17 for the answer. You never seem aware that your "facts" don't fit together to form a coherent picture, or that you have left out dozens and dozens of easily researched facts that would be needed to get to your conclusions.

By now it should be completely clear to regular readers, but for the benefit of newbies encountering Andy for the first time, WARNING: This poster gets most of his information from bias, anti-gay sites and does not check it for accuracy. As in the case of the last post, he doesn't even always bother to read it. He just assumes that it says what he wants it to.
 

B_andy112311

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OMG. "Down low". That's too funny.

Dude, I can't believe how backwards you are, or that your posts warrant any further explanation to you.

You're even too dumb to use the multi-quote feature. Go away.

Is it still biased, homophobic, and extremist if it's from a gay website?

http://gaylife.about.com/cs/gay101/a/dl.htm

The "Down Low" or "DL"
From Ramon Johnson,
Closeted Gay or Bisexual Men
What is the "Down Low" or "DL"?

Men who discreetly have sex with other men while in sexual relationships with women are said to be on the "down low" (or "dl" for short). Often these men do not consider themselves gay or bisexual and their female partners are not aware that they have sex with other men, thus the term "down low" or "in hiding".

How is the down low different from being closeted?

At it's core a man on the down low is no different than a closeted man. However, the high numbers of HIV cases within the African-American community, especially among straight black women, has brought attention to this phenomenon. A growing number of people feel that men on the down low who have unprotected sex with other men pose a health risk to their girlfriends or wives. Since men on the dl do not consider themselves gay or bisexual, they feel no need to disclose their activities.

Can exposure stop the spread of HIV and AIDS?

Simply exposing a man on the down low will not stop the potential spread of HIV or any other sexually transmitted diseases within the African-American or any other community. All partners in a sexual relationship should use protection, regardless of their gender or sexuality. Partners are also encouraged to ask about each other's sexual history.
 

Gisella

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There has been a bit of talk on the boards lately about Bisexuals.

It got me thinking. How many members of LPSG would be ok with having a relationship with a Bisexual male/female?

Is there any concerns or fears that the person may choose the other sex?

I suppose I should add my two sense first. I am perfectly comfortable with the idea of dating a bisexual. Boy or girl, I think a relationship is based on trust and love for the other person.

I imagine that I would be just as concerned that I may get dumped by my partner, for another member of the same sex as well as the opposite sex.

Well, I would not have relationship with bisexual man knowninly he is attracted to both sexes.

Is not a issue of 'fear' to loose but first I will not be attracted to him as I may see him in some degree as gay and that he is incomplete if he does not have the other sex that will be his same sex, is confusing to me...yes he may love me but he may choose to love someone else too...he loves both, he may need both exchanges going on at the same time...and in a way I would have to accept that because as much many of us would not understand how possible love 2 at the same time..in this situation is not only possible but probable...I dont want that and I will not want want more complications in what I already find complicated: romantic relationships..:rolleyes: yep, for me is romantic because sex for me is not physical experiments only...I do give my all even when do not last...I'm in love I jumped my head on...yep, I move on but I loved...my way.:cool:

I dont have in me the capacity to share a partnerthat I love like that as many males would not share me with another male if I need 2 males to satysfy my sexual urges but maybe with a female would be easier to them :confused: ...and in the other hand I'm dealing with a male and most males make distintion between love and sex...than bisexuality comes in diverses forms...he may want just to have his sexual urges satysfied with one and love another and many more and between diferent situations...I do think that those individuals that can handle all this situations are remarkable...I'm not one of them...

I still cant have casual sex with oposite sex...crap...:rolleyes:
 

joyboytoy79

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Gisella,

I simply adore you, and i hope you don't take offence, but i wanted to pick on something you said. It is by no means a personal attack, as i've seen it repeated by many people on these boards.

"most males make distintion between love and sex"

I simply don't believe that's true. I think many men do. But i can't agree that "most" do. To the same ends, i think many women make a distinction between love and sex. I certainly know of many women who are in sexless marriages but are very much in love with their spouses.

In any case, i've known many bisexual men who've settled down with a partner. I don't know that they have monogamous relationships, but they are very committed anyway. One man i've had the pleasure of knowing is a very caring and loving husband and father.

I think bisexuality is often misundertood, and people of that orientation are easily dismissed as too difficult to settle down with. Personally, i find it difficult to assign any properties to bisexual people, other than that they may find themselves attracted to people of both sexes. If that is all that makes them different from me, i see no reason why if one is attracted to me, and i'm attracted to him, i shouldn't date him.
 

Gisella

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Gisella,

I simply adore you, and i hope you don't take offence, but i wanted to pick on something you said. It is by no means a personal attack, as i've seen it repeated by many people on these boards.

"most males make distintion between love and sex"

I simply don't believe that's true. I think many men do. But i can't agree that "most" do. To the same ends, i think many women make a distinction between love and sex. I certainly know of many women who are in sexless marriages but are very much in love with their spouses.

In any case, i've known many bisexual men who've settled down with a partner. I don't know that they have monogamous relationships, but they are very committed anyway. One man i've had the pleasure of knowing is a very caring and loving husband and father.

I think bisexuality is often misundertood, and people of that orientation are easily dismissed as too difficult to settle down with. Personally, i find it difficult to assign any properties to bisexual people, other than that they may find themselves attracted to people of both sexes. If that is all that makes them different from me, i see no reason why if one is attracted to me, and i'm attracted to him, i shouldn't date him.

No honey..I dont take offense..I do not understand men very much..to me sex to men is mostly an urge...and for this motive I think most of them can act on this urge just to get out of their systems and others love one person they have sex with...

Babe JoyBoytoy...I dont know much about males...:shrug: they are not the simple creatures I thought they were...


And Alex...you cant have casual sex too ?:confused: :biggrin1:

Oh...I dont know anything anymore just what is inside me and about me that I make discoveries and findings...for now...:rolleyes: