Relationships

[13788]

joe22xxx:

Originally posted by DeeBlackthorne@Feb 4 2005, 05:13 PM
I suppose I'm torn on this issue. Idealism would tell me that I shouldn't care one way or another -- and that if the guy is a good person, his sexuality shouldn't matter. I think that's true. At the same time, I can count the number of gay male friends I have on me dick 'n balls, and I can honestly say that the reason why I might a friend or two is because they don't act stereotypically gay and that I can talk to them about stuff without them saying "ooh, girl" and all that. That makes me uncomfortable. Furthemore, when I was in undergrad, I made a few gay friends because I thought I could talk to them about finding guys somewhat attractive, but as it turns out, I was judged probably worse than some of the guys I'd play volleyball with.

So, to that end, nah -- if I had a gay bud I probably would keep the relationship kinda light and non-serious unless I really felt like we had a good friendship vibe going. And not that I have all that many straight guy friends either, but I definitely wouldn't think how we could work out a sexual relationship. I don't know. It's just a lot to consider. Don't get me wrong; I"ll go for some head if I'm not left up to much choice, but we better have a damn good understanding before it even gets there.

[post=280076]Quoted post[/post]​

I don't have the same experience as Dee does,but I always value his take on these things. I only had one gay guy who is my friend. He was a friend before he discovered he was gay, so we already had a relationship previously to his discovery about himself. It's not an erotic relationship. We don't see each other much because we go to different colleges now.

I think Dee is right on in his description of a male-to-male sexual relationship, whatever the gender preference of the guys involved. I know as far as I'm concerned, as soon as things start getting emotionally intimate with another guy, I start getting a little uncomfortable. That's where the problem lies for me. It's difficult for me to separate my feelings for someone from any expression of that closeness, including sexual activity. Otherwise it would be hard for me to be just sexually involved with another guy without a lot of trust and love. At the same time there's a deep seated need in me to express this part of my erotic nature. I definitely appreciate this discussion, and as usual relate to things that Dee says perfectly. He helps me in so many different ways, & I owe him a lot. Thanx out to Dee.

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

Originally posted by joe22xxx@Feb 6 2005, 06:05 PM
I don't have the same experience as Dee does,but I always value his take on these things. I only had one gay guy who is my friend. He was a friend before he discovered he was gay, so we already had a relationship previously to his discovery about himself. It's not an erotic relationship. We don't see each other much because we go to different colleges now.

I think Dee is right on in his description of a male-to-male sexual relationship, whatever the gender preference of the guys involved. I know as far as I'm concerned, as soon as things start getting emotionally intimate with another guy, I start getting a little uncomfortable. That's where the problem lies for me. It's difficult for me to separate my feelings for someone from any expression of that closeness, including sexual activity. Otherwise it would be hard for me to be just sexually involved with another guy without a lot of trust and love. At the same time there's a deep seated need in me to express this part of my erotic nature. I definitely appreciate this discussion, and as usual relate to things that Dee says perfectly. He helps me in so many different ways, & I owe him a lot. Thanx out to Dee.

You're a good man, Mr. G. I appreciate the fuck out of you too. ::smooches his forehead::

Truth is, it says a lot to be able to have a genuinely warm and emotionally secure relationship between two males. We're not really social conditioned to have such a relationship with our male peers, and yet there is a good number of people recognizing that, regardless of gender, we have a need to produce and reproduce these kinds of attachments with people. With women, it's supposed to come naturally -- and yet guys make a killing selling books on how men and women are such drastically different creatures, not even giving credence to, lo and behold, ways we think and feel alike.

I suppose as I'm pushing 25 years of age, I feel like I need to have some secure relationships in my life. I'm single, and I don't necessarily feel the push to get married. But I'm now at a point in life when friends of circumstance just don't cut it for me. I need people I trust, I support, and I dare say, I love too. So, whoever and whatever form that comes in, guy or girl, I'm much more ready to embrace it.

 

[jonb]

Originally posted by txquis@Feb 6 2005, 08:10 AM
Many people have gay friends, they just dont know/havent been told that they are.
I will never forget having a coworker come out to me,
after having known him for years, and never having one ounce of suspicion.
And my gaydar is pretty fine tuned.

[post=280609]Quoted post[/post]​

Unless that's a gay weather balloon.

 

[jonb]

Originally posted by txquis@Feb 6 2005, 01:15 PM
I agree...among the under 25 crowd that i know, people say they are "bi"...they never, but never say they are gay.

[post=280647]Quoted post[/post]​

Bisexuality's currently chic. *ahem*

After four beers with my best friend
We're experimenting sexually
His slurred voice simply whispers
"Let it bi"

Let it bi, let it bi
Let it bi, yeah, let it bi
I like snails and oysters
Let it bi

(And a cookie to anyone who recognizes the line about snails and oysters.)

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

Originally posted by jonb@Feb 7 2005, 02:15 AM
(And a cookie to anyone who recognizes the line about snails and oysters.)

From the bath scene edited from the original release of Spartacus. Give me my fuckin' cookie! B)

 

[13788]

carolinacurious: I'm not very effeminate but virtually all of my close male friends have been/are straight. Most I've discussed sexuality with at some time or another, a few never. In the past a few of these friendships did slip into a non-platonic state, for the most part that didn't bode well for the long term friendship with some notable exceptions. To me they all seem like normal platonic friendships and I'm very happy with things that way. Many of my friends have made comments that they have never had a friend like me before, I don't think they are referring to anything sexual rather I think it's more the dynamic of the relationship, the closeness, the ability to talk about anything (or to just talk at all). I think most of their other friends are "activity buddies", they might call them up to play golf but never anything else for example.

I've been lucky to have many very close friendships, while sexuality issues really haven't been much of a problem, I do think it's a shame that many of these friendships probably wouldn't have happened had the first thing these guys known about me was my sexuality.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

I have about 6 really good guy friends that I usually hang out w/on the weekends - hitting up bars and clubs...And I probably at first meeting thought they were gay or bi but none have really shown any obvious indication of being gay...So I don't believe in gaydar thing for myself and don't like to judge a book by its cover...Yeah I got some good guy friends - I mean we travel together, sleep in the same bed (w/nothing sexual at all going on) - and all these guys would be considered pretty hot...It is weird but I think it is a kind of attraction on both sides when my friends and I kind of met - maybe not sexually but probably personalities...

 

[jonb]

Originally posted by DoubleMeatWhopper+Feb 6 2005, 07:48 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(DoubleMeatWhopper &#064; Feb 6 2005, 07:48 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-jonb@Feb 7 2005, 02:15 AM
(And a cookie to anyone who recognizes the line about snails and oysters.)

From the bath scene edited from the original release of Spartacus. Give me my fuckin&#39; cookie&#33; B)

[post=280729]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]
Cookies and cream?

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

Originally posted by jonb+Feb 7 2005, 10:22 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jonb &#064; Feb 7 2005, 10:22 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'>

Originally posted by DoubleMeatWhopper@Feb 6 2005, 07:48 PM
<!--QuoteBegin-jonb

@Feb 7 2005, 02:15 AM
(And a cookie to anyone who recognizes the line about snails and oysters.)

From the bath scene edited from the original release of Spartacus. Give me my fuckin&#39; cookie&#33; B)

[post=280729]Quoted post[/post]​

Cookies and cream?

[post=280902]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]

Sure, if you&#39;re providing the cream fresh&#33;

 

[Altairion]

Yea...so I finally had a nice chat with my friend that I&#39;d mentioned in one of my earlier posts. Apparently he&#39;s definately gay and has had a boyfriend for nearly a year. Needless to say I kinda guessed about his orientation, but the fact that he&#39;d had a boyfriend for nearly a year and I&#39;d heard zero about it definately blew my mind there.

Just when enlightenment dawns, that ugly stick of ignorance knocks you back down on your knees.

Anyway, I can officially say that I have my first gay friend now....