Religion (or lack thereof) in relationships

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by chaosaysmu, May 20, 2009.

  1. chaosaysmu

    chaosaysmu New Member

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    I'm curious whether anyone on here has any stories about how religion, spirituality, agnosticism, atheism, or humanism has been a factor in their relationships.

    I'm of entirely Jewish ancestry, but was raised fairly agnostic due in part to my immediate family's Socialist background. The sole religious ceremony i took part in, aside from weddings and funerals, was my own bris, and that wasn't my idea! I took to solitary pagan practices as a way of exploration, which grew into some brief study of Chaos Magic, and finally full-blown Discordian insanity, with a touch of animistic/shamanistic beliefs and experiences.

    ...and for the past year and a half or so, I've been in a relationship with a devout Protestant Christian. We're very happy together, and our discussions of religion and spirituality are often positive learning experiences. I've actually more than once defended her beliefs from people antagonizing her, particularly from a group of 18/19-year-old atheists who had never actually read any of the Bible and attacked it on hearsay and their own beliefs about the world.

    I'm always interested in meeting and befriending people of other religions and beliefs, even ones opposed to mine, so long as they are intelligent and willing to actually have a discussion, instead of lecturing at me. Perhaps that's why the difference of faiths hasn't been a problem?
     
  2. _avg_

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    Why did you bold-face f-n-o-r-d in the 2nd paragraph?
     
  3. chaosaysmu

    chaosaysmu New Member

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  4. canuck_pa

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    Chaos, I applaud you for your openness and acceptance of different religions. Too bad its not practised by more people.
     
  5. B_bi_mmf

    B_bi_mmf New Member

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    As someone who finds religious belief to be preposterous, I would have considerable difficulty spending my life with a person who accepted myth as reality and who thought they were preparing themselves for some made-up existence after death.

    I need to be able to respect the intellect and rationality of the person closest to me. Fortunately, my wife and I see eye to eye on this issue.
     
    #5 B_bi_mmf, May 20, 2009
    Last edited: May 20, 2009
  6. EnTaro

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    Atheism isn't a belief system. I get sick of hearing people talk about "Atheist beliefs". If Atheism is a belief, then "not playing soccer" is a sport.
     
  7. Principessa

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    That could be.

    Are you and this girl in a serious relationship? By that I mean are you contemplating marriage and children? My experience has been that until you get to that point, religious beliefs are often unimportant even if diametrically opposed.

    I have seriously dated two devout Catholics in the past. Both were cool with me being United Methodist until our future together was discussed. :rolleyes: The first time this happend I was 19 and a little surprised to realize that my religion meant enough to me for which to fight. :redface: The 2nd time it happend he made his feelings known from the get go as did I. I think he assumed I would come to my senses and convert to Roman Catholic. :rofl: I on the other hand figured he would see the error of his ways and compromise. To me compromise meant we would remain our own religions, but any children from our union should of course be raised the right way . . . United Methodist. :cool: Numerous discussions, arguments, and fights were had over this topic. :frown1: A noteable one ending with him calling me a heathen heretic for choosing to skip church one Sunday, and me sleeping on the sofa in the living room.

     
  8. chaosaysmu

    chaosaysmu New Member

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    Atheism is by definition a belief system: the belief that there is definitely not a genuine deity/deities or other such figures. Being atheist is not the same as lacking beliefs, your analogy is inaccurate.

    A belief is still a belief, even if it is true. If you'd like to discuss this further, please move it to another thread. I don't want this one getting sidetracked too much.
     
  9. crossy

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    f-n-o-r-d in the 2nd paragraph probably refers to the Hyam Yonkel Codex.
     
  10. _avg_

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    I thought as much.

    Anyways, to respond to your inquiry: religious folks have a leg-up on the non-religious, I think. Organized religion provides them with a meeting place, a ready network of like-minded individuals with whom to interact and events centered around shared interests.

    Plus I'd suggest that many of the church-goers I've dated have been some of the wildest and nastiest partners I've had... :D
     
  11. EnTaro

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    I disagree, but fair call on being sidetracked.

    On topic: I date girls who believe similar things to what I do. Some of my beliefs are consistent with Christian Orthodoxy (e.g. compassion for others) whereas others are inconsistent (e.g. God). It's a balancing act. I don't immediately rule out a girl on the basis of beliefs; my last date was with a muslim girl. All things held equal I'd prefer a non-believer though, and I do hate hearing the God talk.
     
  12. lvsxy808

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    I have absolutely no religious belief, and neither does my partner. So religion has no impact on us, except for other people trying to use their religion as an excuse to deny us our rights as a couple and as human beings.

    Rather than calling myself an agnostic or an atheist, I like to call myself an apatheist - to wit, I don't care if there's a god or not, because it has no effect on me either way.

    And in fact, for all of my friends and acquaintances who are religious - which is not many - it seems to have caused them nothing but trouble and guilt.
     
  13. ryan25yo

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    that's a great line~ can i quote you?
     
  14. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    haven't been in any serious relationships yet, but if I were to ever get involved, religion would be a decisive aspect
     
  15. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    BTW, atheism is another ideology

    a seriously flawed one, at that
     
  16. chaosaysmu

    chaosaysmu New Member

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    Thanks for all the replies, everyone; but can we please leave the discussion of the definition of atheism for another thread?
     
  17. jack65

    jack65 New Member

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    HI Chaos, good for you and her to be able to talk about your beliefs, have you two fond any beliefs that would stop you from going further in your relationship?
    would you be able get married to each other? ( that's if you wanted too of course )
     
  18. chaosaysmu

    chaosaysmu New Member

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    So far the only things we disagree about are things which are not relevant at all to our relationship, and never will be. She's still in college, so I'd wait for her to graduate before I even thought about marriage.
     
  19. D_Cock_Hudson

    D_Cock_Hudson New Member

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    It's never been an issue for me- some women in my life have been religious and others not, and some I never asked.
     
  20. jack65

    jack65 New Member

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    Hi Chaos, that's good to here - that two people can get on with getting on - i think we all could learn something from what your doing.
    well i just wanted to encourage you to continue with the mind set you have and good luck with it all.
     
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