Reluctant Post

[Kimahri]

So, people here have been nice to people that have posted about their problems, so ... I set my pride / ego aside and post a question to get some direction in trying to help myself.

Um...put bluntly....suddenly, I'm not able to go long before I ejaculate. I mean, we are talking 1-3 minutes tops. I used to go for considerably longer. I read somewhere that part of the problem could be my life and health. I'm pretty miserable in my current relationship and I'm looking for a job. Anyway, does anyone know of some resources or more information on the matter? This is really bothering me.

Thanks.

 

[hotman911]

could you go to a counsler to get help it has helped me alot in the past to talk to someone face to face?

 

[Kimahri]

I wondered about that. Is there a counselor that specializes in something like this?

 

[lemont77]

Well, son, it's a hell of a thing. I was in a terrible job not but 6 months ago, was almost unable to do my husbandly duty with my wife, and just in a malaise. Then I got fired. Best thing ever. I have a new job teaching, and I've never been happier. My wife is much happier, I tell you what. If you're in a bad relationship, leave it. As far as the job thing goes...just get a job (if you don't already have one) where you can make yourself happy! And it doesn't have to be trumpets-blaring happiness...just something little that keeps you smiling. To borrow a good quote from an ok movie, "Never take life too seriously...you'll never get out of it alive." Later, brother.

 

[hotman911]

UpToDate Patient information: Sexual problems in men

Try that link they put me on anti dep meds but then they found out i was bipolar so im good now. hope everything works out for you.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

try focusing on your partner during intercourse and not thinking about the sensation so much. If that doesn't work you could use a condom if you are not already. Other than that, make sure you are getting plenty of rest, or talk to a doctor.

Though I have to ask, if you are miserable in your current relationship maybe you have bigger issues to address first?

 

[surferboy]

I wondered about that. Is there a counselor that specializes in something like this?

of course. you'll prolly be set to a psychiatrist. or a sex therapist. either way, it's like, more than likely something on yer mind. are you under any new stress lately?

 

[Kimahri]

Well, this has been going on for a bit. I'm finally looking to do something about it. The stress has been there for a while. A lot of life stuff that got complicated by people in my life that I'm now working to get away from.

 

[Blocko]

You might want to look at Kegel exercises as well as familiarising yourself with your own body. Also, meditation and other relaxation exercises. Getting better control of your body is the first step to not only good control, but better sex all around.

For me the key is breathing control. Taking long slow breaths during sex allows me to last much longer and makes me relax and enjoy myself.

 

[Wrat]

Well, son, it's a hell of a thing. I was in a terrible job not but 6 months ago, was almost unable to do my husbandly duty with my wife, and just in a malaise. Then I got fired. Best thing ever. I have a new job teaching, and I've never been happier. My wife is much happier, I tell you what. If you're in a bad relationship, leave it. As far as the job thing goes...just get a job (if you don't already have one) where you can make yourself happy! And it doesn't have to be trumpets-blaring happiness...just something little that keeps you smiling. To borrow a good quote from an ok movie, "Never take life too seriously...you'll never get out of it alive." Later, brother.

I don't ever want to seem too agreeable, but leaving a bad relationship is very sound advice. Best thing you can do for youself.

Great post. Simple and true.

 

[silentc]

try focusing on your partner during intercourse and not thinking about the sensation so much. If that doesn't work you could use a condom if you are not already. Other than that, make sure you are getting plenty of rest, or talk to a doctor.

Though I have to ask, if you are miserable in your current relationship maybe you have bigger issues to address first?

That's very good advice. That's why I'm able to go a long time, and always have been even when I lost my virginity. I'm always so focused on my partner getting the most pleasure that I'm not even too concerned with my own. If I focused on how good everything felt, I'd be finished in seconds.

That may not be your problem, but try learning a few new techniques and watching how your partner reacts. Try focusing on that. I'm no physician, but it has always worked for me.

 

[fatunicorn]

EAT WELL, and don't fuck or jerk off too many times in one day!!! you'll be invincible, I find i'm always depressed after jerking off (not so much after sex lol) so I only jerk off before I go to sleep. Get some excercise too, and eat well. If you sit around all day being depressed you're just going to devour yourself mentally.

Just keep your mind of sex by doing other things, and eat well. Have faith in your body: it's built to survive as long as you treat it ok.

 

[hung]

You have received plenty of great advice. Use what works for you. Keep your body hydrated.

Enjoy life and get on with the action.

 

[Kimahri]

Thanks for all the helpful answers, guys

 

[Countryguy63]

Kimahri,

I had this same problem during the rough times with my ex. When we were first together, she often would get so exhausted that she would ask if I could finish myself off while she watched. I'm usually very slow at cumming, and this is a turn on for me, so no problem there, lol. As our relationship started to go through rough times, my "finishing times" started to decrease. So much that after she left me the 1st time, I went to see a sexual therapist. He told me that it was my uncomfortableness in being intimate with her that was causing my mind to hurry the process. I was relieved, and did find out later that it was in fact, the reason.

I don't ever want to seem too agreeable, but leaving a bad relationship is very sound advice. Best thing you can do for youself. Great post. Simple and true.

I definitely agree. I had my reasons, but wasted 5 years trying to work out my marriage, when she didn't really want to at all (bad relationship!)
Now Wrat, I just wish you would at least be agreeable enough to get your butt (and other sexy parts :wink: ) back to Monterey,.....:biggrin1: please

 

[Love-it]

Relax and be comfortable with yourself, two of the hardest things to accomplish, but there it is.3