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Do you remember the good old days when politicians were warm and fuzzy and kissed babies? Well those days are over. In Florida, if you're a woman running for congress, it's of paramount importance that you know how to fire a weapon. The bigger the better. And even better if you have one hot bod packing heat in a campaign commercial, firing a semi-automatic in jeans painted-on a tight tush. That's my kind of congresswoman. Who cares what political stances she has on a myriad of important issues that vex and confound us in the year 2020.
Here’s what to read from the left and the right | Column
The pudgy prince of hyperbole and horse...er feathers...flew into Tampa the other day. On the tarmac he stood in front of a whole slew of Florida sheriffs. Unlike other states such as California or Ohio, in Florida a county sheriff practically has to have a Screen Actors Guild card. Polk County sheriff Grady Judd didn't attend the event because his celebrity status is such that he couldn't grace his presence for a lessor luminary like Donald Trump. However standing directly behind Trump was none other than Pasco County sheriff Chris Nocco. Nocco originally wanted to be a tight end in the NFL, until he discovered at the U of Delaware that he was a 6'4" human statue with hands of cement. Gridiron dreams dashed, he was appointed to office by-- you guessed it--former Republican Governor Rick Scott.
So what have we learned children? In Florida, law and order and the ability to blow the balls off of every animal, mineral and vegetable from Key West to Tallahassee is of much more importance to the average Republican voter in November than curing COVID-19 and saving Grannie Grunts from a potentially lethal virus. Oldsters are worth sacrificing if Donald Trump gets elected to another four years.
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