Requests made to female friends

[dolfette]

That's only because you are a gay dom.

that's ''domme''

if you're going to try to insult me you could at least learn the right word.

 

[shoxx]

i would have to say that it all depends on your relationship level. If your in the "friendship zone" its tough to get her to consider something like that, however if she is understanding partially buzzed and horny things could turn out your way, either way if you talked to her on a comfortable level by testing the waters with smaller requests first, never hurts to ask, worst she can do is say no and then all you have to do is make the awkward moment go away. Let her know it doesnt hurt your feeling or change the way you feel about her or make you think of her any differantly. if she says no youl still probly have a good friend who even might give in down the road.

 

[dolfette]

if she says no youl still probly have a good friend who even might give in down the road.

give in?

not 'change her mind' but 'give in'?

do you really want sex with someone who isn't into having sex with you but has just...given in?

people are weird!

 

[teasedsilly]

I had a friend who offered this and the problem was I quickly started to feel that it was a crutch. I did not develop feelings for her but I did feel like the sex was just a handout, and that without it I was hopeless, which is a horrible feeling. She didn't feel that way, she was just helping a friend, but it turns out it wasn't the kind of help I could really accept. I personally think there's a legitimate sex life and a fake sex life, and when you have a fake one it does nothing to reduce the need. At least, I can only speak for myself. My advice is if you're interested in your friend then pursue it: if not, look for another girl. Trying to use friendship to get around having to date is a huge mistake and one you will regret if you're anything like me.

 

[dolfette]

I had a friend who offered this and the problem was I quickly started to feel that it was a crutch. I did not develop feelings for her but I did feel like the sex was just a handout, and that without it I was hopeless, which is a horrible feeling. She didn't feel that way, she was just helping a friend, but it turns out it wasn't the kind of help I could really accept. I personally think there's a legitimate sex life and a fake sex life, and when you have a fake one it does nothing to reduce the need. At least, I can only speak for myself. My advice is if you're interested in your friend then pursue it: if not, look for another girl. Trying to use friendship to get around having to date is a huge mistake and one you will regret if you're anything like me.

yeah, that's what i was wondering about.
if the person doesn't want you then how can it be satisfying? if you're not getting that buzz from mutual desire and attraction then how is it better than a wank

saccharine sex...tastes bit like the real thing but provides no fuel.

 

[D_Rawkesbye Deadheade]

I'm sorry but in my opinion there's nothing platonic about asking a female friend for a sexual favour. I tend to agree with Maggie that if sex was an option you would already know.

 

[teasedsilly]

yeah, that's what i was wondering about.
if the person doesn't want you then how can it be satisfying? if you're not getting that buzz from mutual desire and attraction then how is it better than a wank

saccharine sex...tastes bit like the real thing but provides no fuel.

The physical contact was nice, but yeah the lack of passion means you might as well just be trading footrubs.

 

[AlteredEgo]

i would have to say that it all depends on your relationship level. If your in the "friendship zone" its tough to get her to consider something like that, however if she is understanding partially buzzed and horny things could turn out your way, either way if you talked to her on a comfortable level by testing the waters with smaller requests first, never hurts to ask, worst she can do is say no and then all you have to do is make the awkward moment go away. Let her know it doesnt hurt your feeling or change the way you feel about her or make you think of her any differantly. if she says no youl still probly have a good friend who even might give in down the road.

I disagree. It can hurt to ask. That awkward moment won't just melt away. It would be between them for a long time.

 

[Enid]

I agree with AlteredEgo. If a platonic male buddy to whom I was not sexually attracted hit on me or asked me for casual sex, I would avoid him indefinitely.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I wouldn't really mind (assuming I was single) being hit on by a friend I didn't fancy - I would mind being asked for casual sex in the terms described in the OP - "Hey, pal, I'm frikking desperate, tide us over with a blow job or a quick bang til someone I genuinely fancy and can be bothered making an effort for comes along? There's a love." :nono:

 

[dolfette]

I wouldn't really mind (assuming I was single) being hit on by a friend I didn't fancy - I would mind being asked for casual sex in the terms described in the OP - "Hey, pal, I'm frikking desperate, tide us over with a blow job or a quick bang til someone I genuinely fancy and can be bothered making an effort for comes along? There's a love." :nono:

oh, a case of mutual, no strings lust is entirely different!
but the only time that felt worth my while was when he was a model and a grade A fuck...but just wasn't relationship material.
if i don't love him and he's not a sex god adonis then what's in it for me?

 

[freyasworld]

I wanted to put this thread in the woman's issues forum, since I wanted a female perspective on this.

Say a guy had a close female friend, which was largely a platonic relationship.

The guy had gone ages without sex, and was horny and sexually frustrated. He doesn't get much chance to meet women, but still needs release, if one gets my meaning. Would it seem odd if a guy asks his female friend to, well, by handy with him, so to speak? :redface::tongue:

Would it end the friendship? Everybody is different, but nonetheless would a female friend accept this request or turn it down, for fear it could lead to more (which she doesn't want since she has accepted the relationship as a platonic one)?

If as you say close female friend, I would guess she wouldn't be after that request, she would probably say something like go fuck yourself arsehole, go have a wank or maybe die!

I certainly would!

 

[hsarge]

Dolfette, can't you just have pity on some of us who think you're beautiful and witty; please! Am I begging?

 

[EllieP]

Most definitely offended. If it is already a sexual relationship that would be a different story. But to have a friend just ask for a wank out of the blue, well, sorry, I don't do mercy wanks. Hell, I wouldn't even give Cap a wank if he just out and out asked for it.

 

[dolfette]

Dolfette, can't you just have pity on some of us who think you're beautiful and witty; please! Am I begging?

cheeky bugger :tongue:

 

[hsarge]

I'm just in awe; and it has nothing to do with the knife. Maybe it was that raid on the bank of England.