[quote author=belcurv link=board=sex;num=1034089618;start=20#37 date=12/28/03 at 19:25:18]A partner who says exactly what you want to hear may be the most shallow size queen of all... and wants your goods so much that he simply tells you what you want to hear/shows you what you want to see/behaves for you how you want him to, etc. He keeps his cool because he knows that is how he "gets" the goods.[/quote]
Whoa...
somebody's taking this size queen thing a little personal, eh? I can't help but wonder why you're being so vehement, or why you're targeting my responses in particular, but hey... I'll play along.
I'll answer the above remark in this way. I'm a pretty good judge of character, and if I feel like there's some kinda MO (
modus operandi) going on that I don't want to be a part of, I'm putting on my brakes here. On a more preliminary level, I'm definitely not interested in placaters -- people who respond to what I say or do deliberately to everything I do in order to get a positive reaction. I can only imagine how pitiful it would be if I were to get involved with someone who tries their hardest to say or do
exactly what I want. The relationship would get boring pretty quickly; not to mention I couldn't help but wonder what was going on in their own lives to merit this response.
But you're right. I don't know what someone else is thinking or calculating most of the time. I'm not in their heads, so I can't be privy to their thinking processes. I can only go by what they demonstrate to me through their behavior and actions, right?
Right.
How do you KNOW the jack off buddy is only interested in your cock? I'll bet that is YOUR perception, and that you are feeding your own kind of paranoia about this...
Hmmm, let me give you two brief scenarios and maybe you'll see what I'm getting at.
If a buddy calls me up because he's horny and he wants to spooge off together, if I'm horned up too, I don't see why not. We'll get together, pop in a porn... you can do the math from there...
But here's where the "buddy" element comes in. This "buddy" of mine, for whatever reasons, will probably want to get together for activities
beyond jerking. That said, my buddy might call me up to play a game of pool with him, grab some drinks at the local bar, even run errands with him. We'll talk, hang out. We'll probably talk about deep stuff, too -- you know, the kind of stuff that friends share.
On the other hand, if nine out of ten calls are invitations to go shoot a load... well... you get it, don't you?
Of course I'm not going to sit down and calculate every single conversation or start making tick marks [jack off call vs. hang out call], but even the most socially inept person could start seeing a trend after a while.
Even on a less interpersonal level, if I'm on the internet chatting, and the user I'm chatting with can hardly make it past dick size in a conversation, it's a good indication that... well... "size queen." Is this making sense? The point is, you can tell where a conversation is or is not headed most of the time. Even if I try to bring up other topics, if it's always tied back to a sexual reference or a dick comment... can't you see how that could grate someone's nerves after a while?
You probably help create that situation, too, by always (fearfully) looking for it.
Why would I have to be so neurotic about this topic if it weren't such an obvious development in most cases, hmmm?
True, most people you encounter -- live or not -- aren't clearly marked "size queen" or "not a size queen." You don't really know these things until you start talking, interacting, etc. And you're right about one thing: I can't know what everyone else is doing or thinking all the time, so I can't really claim this omniscience-detection about size queens. I can only go by what I see, and if most of the signs are pointing toward a sole intrigue in my unit... I'm out of there. Plain and simple. I think you assume that I'm looking down on someone who has that level of interest in the men they encounter; you think I'm slamming a size queen. Quite honestly, I could give a damn less if you're interested in the inches or the intellect. That's your prerogative. At the same time, I reserve the right to give attention to people who aren't approaching me that way.
Of course, if you even bothered to read the first post, you would have known how uncomfortable I felt when that hairdresser approached me for the first time. I was speechless, and for me, that says something if you can make
me speechless or embarrassed.
You say that I "take the fun out of the fantasy." That's funny. I
like the attention... sometimes. I just think there's a time and a place for it, and if I'm in a mod to appreciate it... hell, it's all good! But something tells me that, hmmm, perhaps because I'm not in a mood to appreciate the kind of attention you'd want to give a well hung guy whenever the mood strikes you to do so, that somehow
I'm wrong for not wanting to play along. That's rather selfish, don't you think? There's nothing wrong with getting or appreciating positive attention for the goods; I think a hung guy has to accept that somewhere along the line. Of course, that same guy has the wrong to control/dictate when he feels ready to accept that appreciation, and when that appreciation crosses the border into annoyance.
Time and a place for it... done.
You say that I'm perpetuating a problem or that I'm looking for it...
Well, I could call you incredibly shortsighted and critical for making an assumption. All I said was that, sometimes, the attention isn't welcome, and when it reaches a certain extent, sometimes you can't help but wonder if someone's solely hounding you for your size. Perceptions would merit that. But I
would be obsessive if I heard any combination of the words "nine," "inch," "dick," and any sexual term and freaked out on contact. No, genius; that's not how I act.
I think you're being particularly touchy on a subject you obviously have a lot of passion about, but you're letting that... enthusiasm... lead you to some bad assumptions. Take a minute to question them or to put yourself in the other person's shoes, and maybe you'll feel differently.
)...when i kinda accepted myself i started to visit a bar or too (gay i mean)...it disillusioned me like hell, cause it was all about having sex for one night....
