Responses from the old Hollywood Squares

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Pitbull, Dec 2, 2009.

  1. Pitbull

    Gold Member

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    Found on the net
    I'm assuming they are all true



    These great questions and answers are from the days when the Hollywood Squares game show responses were spontaneous not scripted. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.


    Q.Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
    A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
    (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

    Q. Do female frogs croak?
    A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

    Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
    A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

    Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
    A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

    Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
    A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

    Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
    A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

    Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
    A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

    Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
    A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..

    Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
    A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

    Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
    A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

    Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
    A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

    Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
    A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

    Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
    A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

    Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
    A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

    Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
    A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

    Q.. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
    A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

    Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
    A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

    Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
    A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

    Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
    A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

    Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
    A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

    Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
    A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

    Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
    A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
     
  2. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Great show! Here are some others.
     
  3. Robert53

    Robert53 Member

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    I think they are all true; i think i heard some of them but did not understand it all as a child.

    Also, on "The Newlywed Game", the host asked the contestants the most unusual place the couple had sex. One guy answered in all sincerity "Well, that be up the butt, Bob." We've come a long way baby.......

    R
     
  4. Pitbull

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    Actually it was the wife

    Olga at about 1:40 - 2:10 minutes

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1T5E4cVwyBE

    And according to Wikipedia she actually said in the ass.

    The Newlywed Game - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
     
  5. Robert53

    Robert53 Member

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    thanks for the clarification. It was a great show for sure!!!!
     
  6. hud01

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    There was an old time radio show where the MC asked the woman how she was enjoying her honeymoon and her answer was I am enjoying every inch of it. I still have the record in my garage somewhere.
     
  7. crescendo69

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    Q. Can man pollinate a flower?
    A. Paul Lynde: Now that's desperate!
     
  8. chestybbwsizequeen

    chestybbwsizequeen New Member

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    Thanks for sharing I loved Paul Lynne
     
  9. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, dig it, Paul Lynde and his not so tacit sexual responses really kept the show alive and kicking back in it's heyday, you know.
     
  10. D_CountdeGrandePinja

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    Great show - remember some of the lines from CHEERS, an awesome 1/2 hour.
     
  11. D_Navengil Nutroll

    D_Navengil Nutroll New Member

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  12. D_Navengil Nutroll

    D_Navengil Nutroll New Member

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