Retail/Customer Service Workers - Tell us your stupid customer stories.

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by jdcnow, Apr 29, 2011.

  1. jdcnow

    jdcnow New Member

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    Those that work in Retail, Customer Service, or Restaurant/Food Service - Tell us your stories of stupid or rude customers. (This should be fun, lol.)

    Well, good morning everyone. Hope you are doing well. :smile:

    This is a fun thread topic on another message board I'm a part of. I know there's got to be somebody out there with some whopper stories. I don't know if you're familiar with an old HBO show called "Taxicab Confessions", but my job is a lot like that show - you never know who's going to come in, or what they're going to pull. Don't tell precisely, specifically where you work or anything, but I'd love to hear some more stories, lol.

    Now I work in a convenience store. One night, a week or two ago, this guy and what looked to be a 3rd or 4th grader with him coming in with a fake, possibly altered driver's license that was broken in two. Now, just about any business that sells tobacco also has some version of the We Card signs seen on these monitors.

    [​IMG]

    Now I know these guys know I'm not going to sell them anything. Right? Nope, the older boy still asks. /rotflmao

    Not only does he ask for some Newport shorts, but when I card him, he whips out these two pieces of plastic that creates some amalgamated, jigsaw-puzzle form of a driver's license. And it has none of the state of Texas driver's license security features. The lettering is jet black. On a real Texas DL, the lettering is two-toned - red on the left and blue on the right. No holographic watermark of the word "TEXAS" anywhere to be found. Oh, yeah, and the address on the license was from Duncanville - one of the Dallas-area suburbs - over 60 miles away. I declined the sale. He asked me, "Is it my picture?" I told him that No, his license may be perfectly good but in the state of Texas (and likely everywhere else, for that matter), the law is that accepting an ID is at the cashier's discretion. We have the authority to decline a sale to a potentially underage customer on whatever grounds we deem appropriate for declining the sale. If we suspect them to be underage, we can basically decline the sale just because we can, more or less.

    And hint-hint >> when you are underage and want to buy cigarettes from a 24-hour convenience store at 2.00am in the morning, and present a fake ID, make sure there isn't, ya' know, a police cruiser out on pump 6, right in front of the store's front door. LMAO! You heard right. Our town's night watchman was out on number 6, gasing up. Did this goober seriously not think that I wasn't going to go out there and tell the officer what happened? Really?

    I did, the officer goes after him and later comes back and tells me about it. The guy who tried to pass the fake ID? The vehicle had an expired inspection sticker, and he had no insurance, in addition to the crimes of A) attempting to buy tobacco products with an illegitimate ID and B) being an underage person who is attempting to buy tobacco products. :biggrin1: Turns out, they were on their way to see Grandma, who happened to live here. The officer knew where Grandma lived, and escorted them right to the drive way. He told them to park it in the driveway of that house and that they'd better not move the vehicle, or else, they would spend the rest of the weekend in the county slammer.
     
  2. Bbucko

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    I've worked with the public, whether retail or food service, for nearly all of my life (beginning in 1976) and have forgotten many a truly priceless story over all those years. There is one, however, that I will never forget:

    In 2003, when my then-partner and I first moved to FtL, it took nine months to find a career-related job. So I settled on a subsistence job that paid my share of the rent (and most of my car payment) as the night manager/clothing, book & music buyer for a place that billed itself as "The World's Largest Gay & Lesbian Superstore", now long-since closed. Though we did, in fact, sell swimsuits and clubwear, CDs, etc, most of the actual revenues came from the enormous amount of porn we both rented and sold. It was basically a slightly-upgraded sex shop.

    Anyway, I'm doing an inventory or something behind the counter when a customer approached me with a sign we'd posted near the front door, advertising the fact that one of our skeeziest bars down here was hosting a Pool Tournament, with teams from all over Broward county.

    "Excuse me," he asked in a silly, child-like voice despite his being somewhere in his late 20s, "When did they install a pool at [the name of the bar]?"

    I figured that I must have misheard him, so I asked him to repeat his question.

    "Pool...pool! When did they install a pool?" His voice was agitated and he was poking the placard in his hands with his index finger. "I was there last week and they didn't have a pool then!" He was getting really pissy.

    It took me a couple of seconds to process the absurdity of a man of his age having no awareness of what a Pool Tournament entailed before I twisted my head slightly and in as calm and reasonable voice as I could summon said: "Billiards, darling...billiards."

    He stomped out the door with a friend who couldn't stop laughing at both his question and my response. He still didn't understand :biggrin1:
     
  3. nudeyorker

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    I've never worked in retail but I had a short career as a Flight Attendant before law school. We used to serve filet mignon or lobster tail in first class and people used to get upset because the steaks were pre-cooked and not grilled to order.
    In the olden days the upper deck of the 747's were a cocktail lounge for first class and I used to like to work up there because it was pretty much a party from NY to LA; we could make almost anything because it was a full bar... I'll be damned if someone did not order a mint julep once and then got their panties in a twist because we did not have fresh mint on board.

    About 10 years ago I was waiting at the corner for the light to change to cross the street and two men came up to me and asked me if I used to be a flight attendant for ________ Airlines... I said "It depends... did you have a good or a bad flight?" They said they never forgot me because they were on their honeymoon and I gave them a bottle of champagne to take to their hotel and they said they talked about me every year on their anniversary because of how nice I was to them. They made me blush!
     
  4. B_Lightkeeper

    B_Lightkeeper New Member

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    I once had a retail music store (before technology took away our business) and one time this lady came in, around April or May, and asked me for "Pomp & Circumcision." Trying not to break up, I showed her several CDs containing the song used for graduation exercises.....Pomp & Circumstance. Each year now about this time, I always remember this weird request. :biggrin1:
     
  5. canuck_pa

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    A former friend of mine owns a very funky store that specializes in beautifully designed and avant-guard merchandise. A number of years ago a woman came into the store and said "I've never seen so many ugly things in one please in all my life". Without missing a beat he said "Then you should feel right a home".
     
  6. B_stanmarsh14

    B_stanmarsh14 New Member

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    Worked in the flooring trade for quite a number of years, but I could never forget this one times as a Junior Sales Trainee, when this guy walked in to place an order (Who reminded me as a spitting image of Dudley Moore), was just leaving, and walked SMACK in to the window to the right of the main door, crab-like movement to the main exit, and left.

    Manager just looked at me, then both of us started howling with laughter.
     
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