Retarded Ejaculation

[bigguy11211]

Hi,

I've had a problem pretty much my entire sexual life, in some ways a great problem to have but it really gets me down.

Basically I have no problem getting hard, but I rarely cum during sex and pretty much only when I am being ridden. This means that generally girls cum during sex a lot more than I do, which is great in some ways, but the fact that I don't is difficult for them and me.

Bizarrely, if a girl blows me I'll come, if she jerks me I'll come but when I'm inside, whilst it is great, I rarely feel close to cumming and regularly lose my erection.

I don't think it's a physical problem, I'm thinking either a) I jack off too much (once daily I suppose) and have got too used to it or b) I've got some weird issue with it that I haven't worked out yet.

Has anyone else here ever suffered from this? Any thoughts or ideas on how to deal with this?

 

[B_rag0007]

....a possible prostate problem....see a urologist.....I have a similar problem....

 

[surferboy]

i'm sure it's not unheard of, but very rare. how big are you? maybe, like, subconsciously, you think you might be hurting her?

because if you cum by her riding you, then that means she's in control of speed and depth. so i think it's way likely you might be scared of hurting her

 

[Mister6]

Yes, I do.
Sometimes I don't cum at all in maybe 2 hours of vaginal action (makes for a good workout, though.) My wife would never say but, I get the feeling she finds that aspect could be better.

Probably "A" and possibly "B."
A) Everyone differs, but I say there is definitely a "too much" when it comes to porn consumption and masturbation. From the other perspective, I feel it's unrealistic to expect the world to be arranged in pairs of people with the exact same sexual tastes, same desire frequency, and similar mood patterns.

B) Is a question you have to ask yourself: Do you have an aversion to the feel, act or result of other positions?

A contributing factor you should consider: Sexual nerve endings are as unique as faces and fingerprints. There are general similarities from person to person but no 2 are the same so, at the extreme, you may just be a person that needs the stimulus that is common to having your lap ridden.

 

[Panda Bear]

Hmm... it could be just mental problem. What turns you on? This is rare. Men are the first to come, at least I do. I have a thing for cream pie so I have no problems coming in them. I believe that if you want to increase your orgasms while inside her, then you have to find something to turn you on. Try watching some porn while having sex, or bring some new things to the sex. Watch some creampie porn and see if it interests you. The point is, you have to find some thing that will turn you on "hardcore" since this is a big problem.

 

[bigguy11211]

thanks for the feedback, well to answer it feels great in every position and many times I think like "it's on the way..." but then it fades. Strange. Never used to worry me but I'm not 21 any more and it's potentially a worry for having kids etc.

The more I think about it, the more I think it's about spending too much time jacking off to porn. Funny, you never think about it being an issue either, just a way to get off.

Every now and then I've gone a week or more without, and find I then get randomly ridiculously hard in the shower or something, and end up jacking and blowing in like a minute. It's barely enjoyable though, just feels like answering a physical need.

Currently single, but contemplating a "no jacking until sex" policy :smile: Maybe that'll work...

 

[RubberHarley]

Why not trying to communicate this to your g/f? Ask her to assist you with this problem. I find that if you sit down and talk about things, that they will work out, whether that be about sex or financial problems. Just be yourself, be honest, and be frank. Just say, "I need some help with this". Any girl worth her salt will gladly help. What do you have to loose?

 

[Kauri Tree]

I think it's a psychological problem, some kind of blockage you have, probably due to the way you "learned" how to cum when you were young. Try discussing this with your partner and with a shrink.

 

[bigguy11211]

Yeah, like I said, I'm currently single so g/f chat isn't an option. No-one else had this? Am I that abnormal?

 

[Iluvmywife333]

I have this exact same thing goin' on. Went to the doctor and he said everything was fine (still check if you're concerned). However, after doin' some experimenting, i found that by enhancing other senses during sex, I could cum easier. For instance, try lighting candles or dimming the lights. It's romantic for her and can help relax you. Also, position might be a big thing. I tend to cum when my wife's on top. Anyway, hope any of this helps. GL, bud, and try not to stress to much.

 

[VeeP]

How to cure masturbation death grip

 

[STYLYUNG]

While you are still single, have you considered experimenting with a few male partners? You might find that your are a bi-sexual person. Do you get turned-on, or get it off, when masturbating while watching a heavy-hung dude in a porn role? Does he turn you on further while you are involved in sexual intercourse?---but not enough to put you over the edge of a climax? Or does he? Professional help would be so valuable to you at this point. Clear up this problem before you marry. I have walked where you are walking.

 

[bigguy11211]

Thanks for all your advice, there is a clear winner in terms of diagnosis here though - it is definitely the death grip!:beerchug2:

Re the guy thing though, I am curious - but never curious enough to get involved I don't think. I've heard many great things about head from another guy, but I just love pussy!