Revenge of the Penis?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by JackbytheSea, Jun 16, 2006.

  1. JackbytheSea

    JackbytheSea New Member

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    Well, I think, "I don't think I ever want to be touched by you or see you ever again" is pretty permanent, and my two-plus month quasi-relationship is probably over. We had a little problem a few weeks back (her fault), and I am fairly certain that I've put it behind me. However, she disagrees and even worse - that I've actually used my penis to punish her, which is the most insane thing any woman or person has ever said to me.

    Have you ever used or been accused of using your penis (or size) as a weapon of punishment or revenge?

    And before you answer that question, I'm not talking about angry or typical rough sex, or getting carried away. I'm talking about actually talking another consenting, adult, sexual partner into sleeping with you (which is hard enough to do), then using your oversized genitals to pound her/him silly for some slight or transgression against you. I'm talking about a deliberately sadistic and malicious act with your penis in a totally consensual hookup.

    And I'm certainly not talking about rape, which is heinous and unforgivable in my eyes. I'm not talking about forcing anything on anybody.

    Have you ever been accused of getting rough with a woman or male partner, because you supposedly secretly resent her and want to punish her for being beautiful and out of your league [and excuse me, but isn't that the most egotistical, self-important, delusional :confused: thing you've ever heard]?

    Have you ever been mistakenly accused of using your penis against your girlfriend (or boyfr.) to get payback for some transgression against you?

    Keep in mind, this is a consenting adult, who never said 'no' or 'stop' or protested any other way, during the whole thing or even immediately after; yet has somehow decided that your overzealousness in bed is directed against her - to hurt her. Keep in mind also that this is a woman, who knows you're big-dicked already, has already been with you three or four times and knows totally what she's getting.

    Are there women or gay men here, who really think they have experienced punishment by a penis? :confused:
     
  2. G4Girl

    G4Girl New Member

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    I know exactly what you're talking about, and my answer to the question is 'Yes'.
    ('been there'... on the receiving end, that is)
     
  3. JackbytheSea

    JackbytheSea New Member

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    And you really believe it was intentional? Did this guy actually tell you that's what he was doing to you?

    Not meaning to sound sarcastic here.
     
  4. antonio

    antonio Member

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    I've read some posts on other boards where men allude to doing this on purpose.

    Usually it is the guys doing penis expansion - occasionally they find something that actually does create an increase, even if only temporary (pumping, cockring, etc). Their wives never wanted any bigger - however - these guys would pump up and then push hard and subsequently brag about how their women would complain about being sore, about how it hurt, about him being too big, etc.

    It has a rather misogynistic feel to it, and doesn't belong in any mature kind of relationship.
     
  5. JackbytheSea

    JackbytheSea New Member

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    I'm with you there. I guess there really are some sickos out there.

    It's still ludicrous, when you've already been with her, and out of nowhere you're characterized as this vindictive, self-loathing pig using his ding-dong as a weapon. It's crazy..and vain.
     
  6. G4Girl

    G4Girl New Member

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    No. I know now that it wasn't intentional. But that's only because I'm with this man now for many years and I've learned to understand him.
    I want to understand him.

    In the first couple years of our relationship though, he was very difficult to understand. We came from different planets...so to speak. And it nearly destroyed us on many occasion.

    I'm not sure what exactly happened in your relationship, but here's what I'm talking about:
    When we first met and started dating there was alot of jealousy and scepticism on his part, because I had many 'guy' freinds that cared about me, and it's understandable that he was uncomfortable dealing with the fact that these people meant a great deal to me.
    But he never communicated that to me in any way.

    Rather than talk to me, he apparently let his thoughts get the better of him and then sure enough if he was angry with me for some reason, he would take out his aggressions on me while we were having sex.
    It was like he was punishing me. He did use his dick as a weapon a few times, and I think he got off on it too! He's a big guy...he knew he would hurt me.

    Alot of 'Macho-ism' back then....funny when I think of it now... Like the caveman, dragging his girl by the hair....pounding his chest and showing 'the big unit' off as a way to keep me around....
    And it only happened a few times, but I noticed it right away, and didn't like it. (But I didn't understand him very well at the time either.)
    It was enough for me to say "Whoa!"...."What am I doing with this guy?"...

    What I wanted was to feel secure with him, and feel good being with him because I wanted this relationship to work out.
    I knew who my 'friends' were, and why they were my freinds...but what I needed, was my boyfriend to be my best friend.....he didn't 'get that'.
    We weren't 'clicking' outside of the attraction we had for each other.
    And when he 'took out' his frustrations, or anger on me the way he did, I don't think he realized how far he was pushing me away.

    Until finally we duked it out, and it was amazing how things changed when all the surpressed anger and mistrust 'issues' came out.
    We needed to dump out all of the negativity in order to really connect, and understand how we really felt about each other.
    (and I'm glad it happened.)
    If that didn't happen, we would've eventually just parted ways and there would always be the question "Why?".
     
  7. Mr. Snakey

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    I have as away of getting the woman to stop giving me a hard time I would tell her next time im going to put a hurting on it. She would stop giving me a hard time.Also if i was going away for a while away from a woman I would and still do put a hurting on it They cant even think about another man.
     
  8. ruinean

    ruinean Member

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    I knew a guy in NY that was really hung, he broke up with his girlfriend, and because he had problems with his appetites could not resist her offer for breakup sex "one last time" you know.

    She made it a "pleasantly" rough session too, but later that evening there was a knock at the door, it was the police. She was pretty bruised up and had all the signs of rape, plus his semen in her. She REALLY did not want his dick going elsewhere if you know what I mean. He says that she thought she would accuse him but then drop the charges once they reconciled. Too bad that is not the way it works, rape is not a civil action that a woman can just drop and the DA did not need her testimony to get a conviction, she did not even appear in court.

    The result was 7 years in Leavenworth. The feds prosecuted it on circumstantial evidence and won. Think about what something like that could do to your life?

    Now, if I EVER had a bi bone in my body, that story was enough to kill it off. At the VERY least I would video tape all encounters with a female and have a signed waiver allowing the taping. I would wear two condoms and a Hefty bag, rubber gloves and be VERY sure there was nothing that could result in bruising or bleeding.
     
  9. Mr. Snakey

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    No i dont agree with abusing a women hitting her etc Im just talking about the sex being a little rough If some physicaly abuses a women they should go to jail
     
  10. ruinean

    ruinean Member

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    In the case of the man in NY I am talking about vaginal bruising only, there was no hitting, and she did leave scratches on his back, but he said that she often did that, but what that meant was his skin was under her nails. She bounced up and dowm on him hard enough to bruise herself he said, and he swore that it was fully consesual sex, in which he was more passive than she. He still did 7 years in one of the worst shitholes in this country.

    All a prosecutor needs is a woman to complain of rape to file charges, any physical evidence is gravy (pun not intended) and there is often NO way to tell evidence of consensual sex from forced sex so that if a person claims it is rape how do you defend yourself? That there were bruises makes it open and shut for a jury.

    If you are not careful in the sex you described above then I can only guess you have never been falsly accused of anything. For my part I would never take the chances you do, but I am no type A personality either.
     
  11. ruinean

    ruinean Member

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    Three words...

    DUKE LA CROSSE TEAM!
     
  12. davidjh7

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    Well, I hope when he got out he made it his personal life goal to make her life a living hell, legally, of course. She raped HIM< and HE went to jail. Again the double standard lives.
     
  13. AlteredEgo

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    I was with you, davidjh7, until you said she raped him. Clearly, he loved ever second of the "pleasantly rough" encounter.
     
  14. davidjh7

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    You're right, Bronx. I realized the error of my terminology after I reread it, but I was too damned lazy to edit my post. I should have said metaphorically raped him, as she certainly destroyd his life, by wanting her "he has touched my golden pussy, and now he must pay, and keep on paying, forever and ever" revenge. I have seen this far too often in far too many women. I respect women, and all they can be and are, even though I will never really fathom them, to generalize. But those who have this attitude are just scary, and to be avoided!
     
  15. JackbytheSea

    JackbytheSea New Member

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    No rape or brutalization here. Just plain sex.

    There might've been an intense row or two in the mix, but we'd been apart for awhile and the rhythm was different - a little off. It felt like both of us, our bodies, were trying to find what we had before (which was pretty okay). But not one no or stop in the middle of it.

    Just this post-hookup crap about how I can't get past what she did and that I'm holding some deep-seated resentment for her, because I hate myself so much that I don't feel deserving of her attention. Oh, and I'm jealous and uncomfortable that she's attractive to other guys. So mix all this up and supposedly, this is why I sexually humiliate her. Yes! A whole, stupid psychological profile, and I don't know where she's getting this BS from!

    Insane!

    It used to be thrilling for her. She said she liked hung guys and hadn't been with one since college. This was like a couple of months ago.

    Then, the Big Revelation [Don't ask.] screwed things up, and we were apart for awhile, because I needed to think. I know she felt guilty about it, even though I've put it behind me. I don't think she's put it behind her, however, and now thinks I'm harboring secret anger and resentment, and has somehow convinced herself that the same good hard f'ing I gave her a month ago (that she loved) is now PENILE REVENGE! :mad:

    I'm not saying this can't happen, because obviously everyone here says it has. However, I do believe that sex, like dance, is going to be whatever you need it to be at the time.

    If you feel deserving of love and are a trusting person, it can be beautiful and affirming for you. The bigger the tool, the better.

    If you're guilty about wronging your sexual partner and secretly feel that your looks put you way out of his league AND that everyone hates you because you're so-oo beautiful, maybe sex turns into some kind of martyrdom for you. Maybe, every sexual experience is going to be tainted by feelings of persecution and danger - especially, if the penis is bigger than what you're used to. Maybe you even feel a little guilty about your looks and secretly WANT to be punished.

    I just think sex is what we make it sometimes. Thanks for the feedback, people. :wink:
     
  16. davidjh7

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    Sounds like thee is plenty of anger and hurt on both sides, that perceptions have become more than reality. Give it time--eventually, you will both likely be able to sort some level of reality out of the emotions, and eventually find some reasonable closure, and be able to move on with your lives. All the best to you, and hang in there!
     
  17. JackbytheSea

    JackbytheSea New Member

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    Geez, you're right! I didn't know how bitter and POed I was sounding, until I read through my comments again. You're totally right.

    Everything's a little raw right now, and I guess I'm just bummed by being back in the meat market and the whole song-and-dance you go through to get anything happening with a woman. I'd be lying if I said I'm not going to miss that ride - she was HOT and never turned me away once. A phenomenal ride, while it lasted.

    Still, the whole thing's so stupid. All in her head. :rolleyes:
     
  18. Mr. Snakey

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    Interesting topic.Enjoyed and got something out of everyones comments
     
  19. Wrat

    Wrat New Member

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    As mentioned above, in the middle, between the eas
    I once had a lover that began to dislike having sex with me because she said it hurt. Every single time. Well, she didn't inform me of this for about four months, and when sh eeventually conjured up the courage to tell me that the pain was "almost unbearable" it was an issue that she felt free to get angry about. So after that every time she felt a twinge of discomfort I was a target. And now, years later, we had lunch together and she tells me that she liked the pain, a little. A little would have been fine. Just not a lot. Other issues predominated, obviously.
     
  20. Mr. Snakey

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    Also must be said pounding into the cervix can be painfull.Also hitting a diaphram can be more painfull
     
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