1. B_werfghj

    B_werfghj New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2005
    Messages:
    126
    Likes Received:
    0
    so, my wife and I are in counseling,
    and I have decided that if we do not work it out, I am going to go after her lover in a BIG way.
    any ideas?
    be creative.
    werfghj.
    P.S. this is for novilty purposes only.
     
    #1 B_werfghj, May 18, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 13, 2010
  2. Pene_Negro_Grande

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Right Next To You
    Probably letting him have her will be the best revenge...You being happy always is the best revenge on a significant other...
     
  3. Lex

    Lex
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    Dan--you should not be in counseling thinking "If this doesn't work..." In that mode, you have already accepted the possiblity/inevitability that your relationship is irrepairably harmed. I think one would benefit from going into therapy thinking "We are in therapy because we want to work through this rough time in our realtionship." While the differences in those two mindsersa may seem small--they are, in fact, huge. One presumes sucess, the other failure. If you dont WANT it to work 100%, then therapy is just a waste of time--unless you are going to therapy to figure out how not to hate each other forewver as you go your separate ways (and I don't think that is your purpose).

    Why even be mad at him? The issues don't lie with him, but rather you and your wife.
    Revenge doesn't make you feel better and only serves to lower you to the level of the one upon whom you want retribution.
     
  4. B_werfghj

    B_werfghj New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2005
    Messages:
    126
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am looking at theropy as a way through the rough spots, and I know we will overcome, however, keep in mind, that I DO NOT have a halo over my head,
    I am a man, and I cannot control all of my emotions.
    It is OK for me to be angry, at HER and at HIM. it is natural and it is healthy.

    It would be no challenge physically to beat this pathetic peace of shit to death,
    I am a 200lb former pro kickboxer, this guy is a 150lb piece of shit.

    I would never do that though... It would make me feel "small" I dont get in physical confronts with people for it is out of my ethics. and I dont want to accidently kill the guy. cause jail isn't much fun, I have been there.

    I just got a new job today, and Im moving to a new house.
    my life is going well..
    if he chooses to put ripples in my water, that is his decision.
    if he chooses to confront me, that will be the last mistake he ever makes.
    but I am going to sit back, and let this play through.
    werfghj
     
    #4 B_werfghj, May 18, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 13, 2010
  5. Dr Rock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2005
    Messages:
    3,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    then why are you asking for ways to avenge yourself on him? you should make up your mind. personally I think either approach would be equally valid at the end of the day, but you gotta decide which you're going for. counselling isn't gonna help if you actually NEED to get revenge instead - and equally, fantasizing about "beating him to death" is a waste of time if you have no intention of actually doing so.
     
  6. KinkGuy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2004
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    southwest US
    OK, so as a "fantasy revenge" just remember, if she fucked around on you, she'll fuck around on him.
     
  7. hung9mike

    hung9mike Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2004
    Messages:
    688
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    711
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Fort Lauderdale (FL, US)
    Hi Dan, I'm sorry to hear about your marital troubles. Counseling is only going to work if both of you are willing to investigate-- and resolve-- whatever issue(s) led to her decision to start seeing this guy. It sounds like you aren't convinced that she's committed to this idea. It may be, as KinkGuy says, that she isn't capable of being faithful to anyone.

    Rather than thinking about what you might do to him, I think your time is better spent trying to find the meanest son-of-a-bitch divorce lawyer in your area to represent you, just in case that's the path you're on. Make sure she learns the personal and financial cost of fucking around on you. Living well is the best revenge.
     
  8. B_werfghj

    B_werfghj New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2005
    Messages:
    126
    Likes Received:
    0
    thanks for the advice guys,
    keep it coming!
     
  9. Pappy

    Pappy Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2004
    Messages:
    2,416
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Outta Here
    Dan, if you are filing for divorce, go for custody of your daughter and make your ex pay you child support. That my friend would be revenge to the max!!
     
  10. B_werfghj

    B_werfghj New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2005
    Messages:
    126
    Likes Received:
    0
    that is true pappy, but were not getting divorced.
    I dont know if in California, the dad EVER gets custody.
    werfghj
     
    #10 B_werfghj, May 19, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 13, 2010
  11. Simon9

    Simon9 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2004
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    98
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Princeton (NJ, US)
    Anyway Dan, if you ever let loose on him (yeah, I know you said you wouldn't...but you're clearly angry and MUCH bigger than him) and hurt him, it would only serve to make him a martyr and you a bully in her eyes, legal ramifications aside. You definitely don't want to go there (even if it IS a pleasant fantasy).

    See what happens with the counseling. You DO want her back and want her to want only you, right? Then focus on her -- not on her playmate.

    Think of him as little more than a living dildo she used for her pleasure. Not worth your anger...focus on her frustrated desires, and her complaints about things you've done (ALL women have complaints about things we've done or not done), and honestly evaluate what she says and try to find a way to give her what she wants.

    My two cents, big guy. Good luck!
     
  12. eastbaydude

    eastbaydude New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2005
    Messages:
    488
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Dude -

    First, Good luck, I hope you are able to work it out. If it's meant to be you'll both make it work.

    I'm certainly not a counselor and have had more than my share of bad realtionships but.....

    Why are you pissed off at the other guy?

    Your wife is the one who cheated on you. He just fucked a willing chick. You should be angry at her. Forget about him.

    I'm betting if you can focus your anger on her - where it really belongs - you'll do a better job at working towards a resolution to the situation.
     
  13. KinkGuy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2004
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    southwest US
    Dan,
    This is just my opinion yet again, but she ALSO needs to spend time and therapy focusing on YOU! Your needs, wants, desires and wishes are important as well. If both of you want to work this out, you can. But it's going to take both of you, working together, focused on making things better for both of you.
     
  14. Supportive Female

    Supportive Female New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2005
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    0

    Beautifully phrased, and right on the money.
     
  15. KidBrown

    KidBrown New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2005
    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    P.G.C Maryland
    If the other guy knew she was married than he should know the potential consequences as well. My roomate got a gun pulled on him in Puerto Rico when he was messing around with a married woman. Her husband didn't kill him only because he was a young guy, if he looked older he would be six feet under right now.

    If this other "man" didn't know the situation, than he's really not at fault.

    Dan, speaking somewhat from experience, you need to know when to be the bigger man sometimes. Look, it takes a real man to look at the situation, and say "hey, I could beat the hell out of this guy if I wanted to, but it's more rational to walk away from it". I'm like that most of the time myself. Unless someone initiates physical contact with me, I walk it off. It's tough, and it takes me two or three shots of bourbon to calm down, but it's worth it every time my friend. If you've ever been in jail you would understand, haha.
     
  16. BruceSter

    BruceSter New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2005
    Messages:
    638
    Likes Received:
    0
    If he's involved - fuck his girl. Most violent way to hurt a guy, except altering his voice the hard way.

    Bruce
     
    #16 BruceSter, May 20, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 13, 2010
  17. B_werfghj

    B_werfghj New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2005
    Messages:
    126
    Likes Received:
    0
    the funny thing is his wife just left him cause she was cheating on HIM! and YES, he was aware that my wife is married, and we have a kid.
    so he was out of ethics on his end.
     
  18. Bluespeedoz

    Bluespeedoz New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2004
    Messages:
    117
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    21
    Hi Dan. First I'm sorry to hear you and your wife are having difficulties. With the pressure life places on most of us having difficulties has become more usual than perhaps was the case a generation ago. Second, I think you and your wife have made the right move by getting therapy. It seems to me that you and she need to work out what you each want from it. Third, I hear you are angry. That's completely understandable in the circumstances. Fourth, if you don't want to stay with your wife do take whatever you learn from therapy to move on. Similarly, if you want to stay with your wife talk to your wife and your therapist about this to woork out what you and your wife need to do to stay together. Improving communication and being honest about your feelings and needs might be a good start. Fifth, like you my initial reaction would be to want to beat the crap outta the little shit who has been messing with your wife. But to be honest the SOB just aint worth it. Revenge of this sort never really accomplishes anything other than to perhaps make you feel better for a short time. I think that the best revenge would be to either successfully get back with your wife or successfully move on and establish a great loving relationship with someone else. Good luck, and if you want to chat or need more advice let me know,
     
  19. B_werfghj

    B_werfghj New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2005
    Messages:
    126
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks everyone, but lets get back to the topic :)

    if you were to seek NON VIOLENT revenge againsed someone, how would you do it? and dont say "live well"
    be creative :)
    -werfghj
     
    #19 B_werfghj, May 20, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 13, 2010
  20. KidBrown

    KidBrown New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2005
    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    P.G.C Maryland
    Oh, he knew she was married and had a kid, huh? Hit him with a hook right on the "floating rib" and when he doubles over, knee the fuck out of his face. Either that or target his knee and make sure he's walking like a penguin for six months to a year, hahaha.

    But seriously man, the best revenge I can think of is to get custody of your child. Your kid deserves better than to have to deal with the whole "is so-and-so my real daddy" situation when they grow up.

    I'm rooting for ya man, shit like this shouldn't happen if life was kind.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted