revenge

[B_werfghj]

Originally posted by KidBrown@May 20 2005, 02:19 PM
Oh, he knew she was married and had a kid, huh? Hit him with a hook right on the "floating rib" and when he doubles over, knee the fuck out of his face. Either that or target his knee and make sure he's walking like a penguin for six months to a year, hahaha.

But seriously man, the best revenge I can think of is to get custody of your child. Your kid deserves better than to have to deal with the whole "is so-and-so my real daddy" situation when they grow up.

I'm rooting for ya man, shit like this shouldn't happen if life was kind.

[post=313226]Quoted post[/post]​

hahah that made me smile.
maybe I should post a pic of this arse hole on this site.
DanLC

 

[Spork]

I'm with the other folks here. Get the meanest lawyer you can, get custody, and make *them* pay support to you.

Don't do anything until you've done this. On the off chance that you get caught, it'll totally screw your legal fight. Once it's done, then you can ask yourself: do I need any more revenge? If so, then you can start making plans.

 

[malito]

Well I'm going to play counselor. I am so sorry you and your wife are having difficulty. I have been married 30 years and just now we started having trouble. Of all things, over money. That beside I'll get to the point.
I think the general consensious is no violence.
I have some ??, What do you want? Do you want to continue the relationship? Do you want to move on? Are you satisfied that she has not contracted some desease that she will bring back into your relationship? How old is your daughter? She has a role in this almost as much as you. Her mother cheated on her too. If she is old enough do you think she should be included in the therapy?
I'm a little old fashioned in that I believe in fidelity. She and he have obviously broken that. It is like spilled milk. You can accept it like one has so eloquently put it that she used him like a dildo and move on or, discover what it is that you and your daughter really want. Therapy is a method and the therapist is a tool. You have decided to enter the method and I hope you use the tool to the max. I'm not going to give you any advice. I want you to discover your wants and make the right decision for you and your daughter. You notice I left your wife out of that because she already stepped out on her own. Bringing her back into the relationship is your choice.
Ask yourself the real ?? in all this, What do I want that will be the best for my daughter and I???

 

[B_werfghj]

Originally posted by malito@May 21 2005, 07:02 AM
Well I'm going to play counselor. I am so sorry you and your wife are having difficulty. I have been married 30 years and just now we started having trouble. Of all things, over money. That beside I'll get to the point.
I think the general consensious is no violence.
I have some ??, What do you want? Do you want to continue the relationship? Do you want to move on? Are you satisfied that she has not contracted some desease that she will bring back into your relationship? How old is your daughter? She has a role in this almost as much as you. Her mother cheated on her too. If she is old enough do you think she should be included in the therapy?
I'm a little old fashioned in that I believe in fidelity. She and he have obviously broken that. It is like spilled milk. You can accept it like one has so eloquently put it that she used him like a dildo and move on or, discover what it is that you and your daughter really want. Therapy is a method and the therapist is a tool. You have decided to enter the method and I hope you use the tool to the max. I'm not going to give you any advice. I want you to discover your wants and make the right decision for you and your daughter. You notice I left your wife out of that because she already stepped out on her own. Bringing her back into the relationship is your choice.
Ask yourself the real ?? in all this, What do I want that will be the best for my daughter and I???

[post=313366]Quoted post[/post]​

1. YES i do want to continue the marriage, we wouldnt be going to counseling if we didn't.
2. she DID not have sex with the guy. but she did "fall in love" with him
3. our daughter is 2 & 1/2 and she loves her mommy and daddy. together.

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

Originally posted by werfghj@May 21 2005, 12:25 PM
1. YES i do want to continue the marriage, we wouldnt be going to counseling if we didn't.
2. she DID not have sex with the guy. but she did "fall in love" with him
3. our daughter is 2 & 1/2 and she loves her mommy and daddy. together.

[post=313403]Quoted post[/post]​

You're going to learn (the hard way) that the good part of your marital therapy will involve really getting to the emotional root of what the affair had done to both you and her, exploring your anger and your want for revenge on the guy, validation of your feelings, acceptance of your partner, and working toward trust resolution. You're a big man physically, but therapy is really going to feel like 12 rounds of hell for you emotionally. I'm glad that you have the resolve to want to make things work. And I'm sure that you'll learn that this will be tougher than you think.

I'm not going to rehash how you're putting the emphasis on the wrong person if you think fucking him is going to make you feel okay or make the situation right. Listen to those members wisely.

If your therapist is worth his or her salt, then I think your therapist will spend a good deal of time letting you both air out what the affair meant to you and to balance and validate those feelings in such a way that sessions don't become an hour of "beating your partner down verbally and emotionally." Go get in a ring if you feel like you need to take out your frustrations like that. And it's going to be tough, man.

I suggest that these things you wrote need to be plastered someone you can see 'em and reflect on 'em... whether it's in your wallet, at a gym locker, something. So you can say to yourself over and over, if need be, that despite how angry you are, part of you feels really hurt inside and wants to get your wife and kid and you back together and to move past this.

 

[hung9mike]

Hi Dan, I thought I'd give you a few things to think about, based on what you said in an earlier message. You seem like a good guy caught in a bad situation.

Originally posted by werfghj+May 21 2005, 12:25 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(werfghj @ May 21 2005, 12:25 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'>1. YES i do want to continue the marriage, we wouldnt be going to counseling if we didn't.

[post=313403]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b]

I understand that this is the reason you are going to counseling. So why is she? Isn't that the important question here? Remember, she's the one who took steps to get out of the marriage: she's the one who started seeing someone.

Originally posted by werfghj@May 21 2005, 12:25 PM
2. she DID not have sex with the guy. but she did "fall in love" with him

[post=313403]Quoted post[/post]​

IMHO, this is worse than having sex with him. It suggests a loss of intimacy between you and her. People can have sex without love. And you could forgive her for having sex with him if it happened. Love is a harder commodity to come by. And if it's lost, it might never be regained. Be sure that this is not what your wife is telling you.<!--QuoteBegin-werfghj@May 21 2005, 12:25 PM
3. our daughter is 2 & 1/2 and she loves her mommy and daddy. together.

[post=313403]Quoted post[/post]​

[/quote]I don't doubt that this is true. But I wouldn't use your daughter as a negotiating tool for you and your wife to get back together. Both of you have to act in your daughter's best interest, and that best interest may not involve you and your wife staying together. I don't think it does your daughter much good to be caught in an unstable home life, between a constantly fighting mother and father.