Reverse jealosy

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Imported, Nov 10, 2002.

  1. Imported

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    aquaman875: I'm new and I didn't see a fitting heading, so I thought I'd start a new topic for one of my favorite stories:

    When I was in college I was dating a woman (Susan) who apparently bragged to her roommate (Cheryl) about the size of my penis. I'm about 6" soft and 8 3/4 hard (but "only" about 5.5 around). Cheryl was very interested, so my Susan arranged for us to have a threesome. (didn't take much to convince me!)

    One night we got together and started fooling around. Susan sat back as Cheryl undid my pants and pulled out my penis. Her eyes got wide and she gave me a big smile and then she started giving me a blowjob. Not only was it the best blow job I've ever received, she probably got 8" down her throat! On a good night, Susan could only get about half in. I didn't last very long. Susan wasn't happy and when I got hard again, she tried to match Cheryl, but couldn't come close before gagging. After that, Cheryl just took over. While I ended up having sex with both of them, clearly Cheryl was in charge and calling the shots.

    Unfortunately, after that night, I didn't get very many more blowjobs from Susan. Despite repeatedly telling her there was no such thing as a bad blowjob, she felt inadequate.

    I just couldn't believe how competitive the two of them got that night.
     
  2. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Generally speaking, I think engaging in a ménage-à-trois with one's 'one and only' and someone who neither party has ever been with sexually is a bad idea. Just seeing the person you love have sex with someone else is often enough to kindle jealousy; sexual competition added to the mix is just plain disastrous.
     
  3. Imported

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    ORCABOMBER: Well, it was to be expected, reverse roles and imagine Susan taking on someone with a bigger dong then you and handling it better than yours..
     
  4. Imported

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    parra10: I would have said to Susan "you'll become as good at blowjobs as Cheryl with a little more practice".
     
  5. Imported

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    Tender: [quote author=parra10 link=board=relationships;num=1036947354;start=0#3 date=10/06/03 at 14:43:26]I would have said to Susan "you'll become as good at blowjobs as Cheryl with a little more practice".[/quote]
    uh that would mean to me,,,, that all those times you told me it was good,,, you lied.
    :-/

    thats akin to telling a girl her boobs are too small......
    you WILL NOT win, dude... ;) open mouth, insert foot--its over..... :D

    i agree with DMW its all a bad idea all over the place....
     
  6. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    [quote author=parra10 link=board=relationships;num=1036947354;start=0#3 date=10/06/03 at 14:43:26]I would have said to Susan "you'll become as good at blowjobs as Cheryl with a little more practice".[/quote]

    Bad idea. Reinforcing Cheryl's superiority in giving head may well result in Susan's smacking the shit out of you.
     
  7. Imported

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    sammygirly: Oh yeah, you'd get smacked for that comment too and FOR SURE never another blow job.

    I'd probably say something like: ...and you'd probably be as good at finding my clit with a little more practise too...Frank had no trouble. (insert catty smile - and no Love, i don't know a Frank LoL)

    That would be my trouble with a menage-a-trois. What if she did it better than me?? I mean, REALLY better? What if it turned out he preferred her to me?

    We've discussed it, and it still might happen for Max and I - but I would be much more comfortable in the situation if the woman was busy on MY body, not His.

    I never did share well...
     
  8. Imported

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    petite_girl: I could never do a menage a trois. I was never wired for sharing. I'd probably beat the third person down and stake my claim on my bf or something.

    heh.... one thing a guy can do is to be extra-encouraging. Like, you know... give her some pointers in a non-obvious way? I've only given bj's to one man, and I know I've improved with practice. But, I couldn't have done it without him telling me exactly what felt good and what was better, y'know? Like, when it was really good, he'd be all like.. Oh God! That was great! ... and then he'd be all like "could you not do..." when he didn't like it.

    The other day, he was all like "That was the best I've ever had!" and that made me feel really good inside, y'know? I think it must be different for every guy .. what feels good, what doesn't.... and I don't really know any girl that can read minds. Communication is really important, I think.
     
  9. Imported

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    Valkyrie: With both of us (me & hubby that is...) being active swingers we've unfortunately seen this before. Usually in couples that wanted to try it to "spice up the sex life", or didn't really think it through from the beginning.

    A very personal opinion - bringing in a third, or fourth partner into a relationship is _not_ a fix for a flailing sex life or something to be done on a whim. It requires a strong foundation in your own relationship and lots, lots, lots of communication both beforehand and afterwards. We toyed with the idea, discussed it for several years before actually moving on to doing it.

    If you decide to go that route - it's not for everyone - one of the most important things is that you _NEVER_ leave you partner outside. I.e. if I'm having the time of my life, or someone willing to please me in every way possible, but I see hubby left alone, outside of the action it is my damn responsibility to break the scene and include him or be with him- and vice versa.

    It's also under the responsibility of both to beforehand discuss what's OK, what's not, what can we try if we're up for it, what is an absolute limit, what can I do on my own, what can I do if we both are present, how much time do I want you to spend with me, how much time do I want you to spend with the other partner, what about several partners at once (i.e. more than a threeway) etc etc.

    It's also under the responsibility of both to discuss in a mature way afterwards - what was good, how did I feel, are there things I can learn, are there things I shouldn't do in the future, are there issues of jealousy/insecurity coming up - can they be handled or do we need to take a break to work on our own relationship, do I want to do this again, what do I envision doing another time etc etc.

    It is a fully possible lifestyle, that can add many additional dimensions to what we normally consider a relationship and sex, but it also comes with a tremendous personal responsibility on your part. You have the possibility to bring you partner to the highest highs possible by allowing what is normally not allowed in a relationship and learning from the journey. You also have the possibility to hurt beyond repair if you start comparing, judging or is not willing to listen and discuss.

    /Val
     
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