Reverse?--Lifelong gays realizing midlife that they're STRAIGHT?

[Sixx]

wow...I ussually just read and never post but I am going through something like this right now.

Well...I've known i was gay or maybe bi, never been sure of which, but I've known for a long time that I had interest in guys.

Me and my nieghbor who was the same age used to play with eachother when we were younger and I've always believed thats what started my interest in other guys.

But regardless through high school I had only made out with a few guys, and jerked off together, never anything more and im still in the closet because im still just not sure.

I've always watched gay porn more than straight.

But about 3 weeks ago i had my first true gay experiance. Im 19 and just met a older guy at a party. He was somewhere in his 40s didnt really bother me though we went to his house i told him it would be my first time we a guy he said thats fine we just rubbed cocks and exchanged blowjobs.

And i left there thinking....Im not gay...

But after thinking about it i think maybe hes not my type....he didnt have a nice cock and almost turned me off when i saw it but i felt like i had to go through with it since we were already both naked

Now im only 19 and I've grown up thinking im defintily atleast bi and now im just confused....i think i need to suck a nice looking cock maybe he was just bad in bed i really dont know because im confused...

 

[Xcuze]

Sixx

You can't decide your sexuality based on one bad experience. Going only on what you've posted I think you are gay but were just with the wrong type. You know that. Who do you fantasise about in your mind, men or women? I really dont get why this issue is so complicated. The social side of it I know can be extremely difficult but surely people know in their own minds what turns them on?

 

[Sixx]

XCUZE

I think the most confusing factor is that I have an attraction to girls still just as much as guys. I don't see why i have to choose one or the other....I know i love women....just still unsure on how i feel about guys....and i will give it another chances...maybe a few lol

 

[BIGBULL29]

Nah, he is gay and is fine with it...but I think it possibly could happen that a man in middleage might find himself more or less straight. Why not?

Absolutely! It could indeed happen as sexuality can be very malleable over time. But, also remember this: sometimes we just don't know ourselves as well as we think we do. Isn't that self-rediscovery?

 

[2322]

Remember that the concept of homosexuality is a relatively new. Throughout societies all over the world, men were expected to marry even if they preferred the other sex. So long as they could reproduce, they were doing their job. Men were seen to want to fuck anything walking and that counted anything from boys to old women to (in some cases) sheep! Prior to the 1800s, sexuality was seen to be as fluid as the situation in which a man was presented. Going back to ancient Greece, the men of Sparta were expected to have sex with each other from an early age until they left barracks living at 30 and moved in with their wives. It didn't matter to which sex a man was more inclined to prefer, they expected a man to be able to have sex with either sex.

I tend to think that we are born with preferences, but only in a relatively few are those preferences so inflexible that a person cannot find sex with either sex to be stimulating under the right circumstances. Don't fall into the trap of living a label. Be who you are and have sex with whomever you want to have sex with. I've fallen in love with a woman and two men. Had that one woman not rejected me, I'd have been very willing to have sex with her not just to fuck, but to express my love for her.

 

[arthurdent]

There is an English guy called Tom Robinson who was gay and out in the 1970s. He had several UK hit singles with the Tom Robinson Band (aka TRB) in the 70s and 80s, including one called "Sing if you're glad to be gay". He was regarded as a spokesman for the gay community at the time. These days he is a DJ on BBC Radio 6 Music and has a wife and kids. Not quite sure when this lifestyle change occured, although you can probably google him, if you want to find out.

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

It happens. There are even orgs made up of people who've switched. Personally, I think all humans have the potential to be bisexual. For whatever reason, we may have stronger leanings towards one orientation but the choice to act on it is ours. I choose to not have sex with anyone. I am waiting for that albino from portugal to start dressing like a woman again, and marry me.

 

[goldeneye]

wow, thanks not puny,
in the July issue of Playboy, Dr Drew is interviewed, and what i
read partly was that, everyone with a drug or alchohol problem was
basically traumatized sexually as a child, (usually molested)
my confusion was, do children of the same age actually molest each other
(what happend to me) or do we at the time percieve it as "play".

Drew Pinsky is an idiot.

It's possible. It's quite uncommon, but possible. For example, if a young man started having sex with men at a young age and got heavily into the gay scene with or without serious same sex relationships, he may stay in the gay lifestyle for many years, defining himself through it, not knowing that his sexuality would evolve over time. It could also occur during this time that he was never aware of the fact that he enjoyed women for a variety of reasons until he would end up having sex with one years down the road.

wow...I ussually just read and never post but I am going through something like this right now.

Well...I've known i was gay or maybe bi, never been sure of which, but I've known for a long time that I had interest in guys.

Me and my nieghbor who was the same age used to play with eachother when we were younger and I've always believed thats what started my interest in other guys.

But regardless through high school I had only made out with a few guys, and jerked off together, never anything more and im still in the closet because im still just not sure.

I've always watched gay porn more than straight.

But about 3 weeks ago i had my first true gay experiance. Im 19 and just met a older guy at a party. He was somewhere in his 40s didnt really bother me though we went to his house i told him it would be my first time we a guy he said thats fine we just rubbed cocks and exchanged blowjobs.

And i left there thinking....Im not gay...

But after thinking about it i think maybe hes not my type....he didnt have a nice cock and almost turned me off when i saw it but i felt like i had to go through with it since we were already both naked

Now im only 19 and I've grown up thinking im defintily atleast bi and now im just confused....i think i need to suck a nice looking cock maybe he was just bad in bed i really dont know because im confused...

See, these are the kinds of things I was wondering about. Hm. And I looked up that Tom Robinson--that's interesting. Like I said, this was just something I randomly thought of and became curious about. I can't really relate to it because I've always been incredibly passionate about women and didn't discover my side interest in guys until I was like 19 or 20, and even still they don't take precedence, so I can't imagine NOT being attracted to women for even a few days, much less several years to the point where I'd be surprised when it suddenly kicked in. This is interesting. I'll have to think about it some more.

 

[B_henry miller]

In a world where a "man" can give birth to a child, of course this can happen.

A lesbian woman with a master's degree in psychology once told me that something people -- particularly gay people -- don't want to accept is that sexuality does indeed change. It's possible that people were indeed straight, and then became gay. It's possible that people were gay and then became straight. Sexuality is a continuum and, like everything in this world, subject to change. Why can't people accept this?

 

[B_dxjnorto]

There was an article in Details magazine a couple years ago written by a guy who went from "gay" to "straight". Anybody else read it?

 

[D_Handsomme Volgard Rentboye]

wow, thanks not puny,
in the July issue of Playboy, Dr Drew is interviewed, and what i
read partly was that, everyone with a drug or alchohol problem was
basically traumatized sexually as a child, (usually molested)
my confusion was, do children of the same age actually molest each other
(what happend to me) or do we at the time percieve it as "play".

your reply makes alot of sense to me.
right now im late for the gym, hope i dont get confused again and walk in
the womens locker room..hahah. just kidding,,

dcw4

well with the play when ur a child, i consider it play, same thing happened between me and my cousins, in fact they were the ones who hit on me one day i remember it clearly, we even fucked, i remember it was soo easy maybe we had small dicks and bigger assholes at the time lol but anyway it is play as long as all members are underage and not much difference between ages, which was the case for me:biggrin1:
man ur stories are quite touching, damn i want to hugg u now :frown1:

 

[fortiesfun]

Does anyone know of any cases of this ever happening? The thought suddenly occurred to me over the weekend and I wondered if it had ever happened to anyone. It would be, I imagine, terribly fascinating.

Much discussion on this one already, but statistically, about one third of the men who "come out" eventually go back in. In other words, about a third of men who think of themselves as gay at some point in their life come to doubt it later. Far from the immediate suggestions on the first page that it is impossible, it is actually rather common.

 

[D_Handsomme Volgard Rentboye]

i wouldnt know, i have never caught the "eye" of another man or
stranger, all my sexual activity has come from the childhood friends
that messed with me.
It stopped 5 years ago, at my insistence.
Havent had sex since.
I have been told i project a "pissed" attitude, telling people take get away.
I have been working on it though,(smiling, trying to catch someones eye)
I have a women i work with hit on me alot in life, yet, I have always felt like
"damaged goods" and wouldnt know what to do if I was ever intimate with them.
shit, just re-reading this,,,
I do have other friends that wonder why I am alone, im sure they think im
gay or asexual, but no one has ever asked, but i do notice when i make the occasional
"gay" joke, they give me a look like i just insulted my mother.
i have never let myself get this far in this subject, i am closing this.
getting depressed.
dcw4

i am sure ur quite an interesting person but maybe thats right, u may project hostility, i was told i project the exact opposite making strangers come up and talk to me, gets sometimes very annoying coz i have to get rude then but most of the times its great, i think if u do smile more often, have a more "relaxed" attitude and dont project like u "need" sex or a guy u ll get one pretty soon, best of luck:smile:

 

[Industrialsize]

It's possible. It's quite uncommon, but possible. For example, if a young man started having sex with men at a young age and got heavily into the gay scene with or without serious same sex relationships, he may stay in the gay lifestyle for many years, defining himself through it, not knowing that his sexuality would evolve over time. It could also occur during this time that he was never aware of the fact that he enjoyed women for a variety of reasons until he would end up having sex with one years down the road.

For a few, sexuality is very malleable over time. Besides, who are we to say that this cannot happen? As far as I know, we all have unique sexualities, just like our handprints.

By the way, it's only because of societal taboos that straight > gay transitions are much more common during midlife.

I don't have a "Gay Lifestyle".......I have a LIFE........I just happen to be gay

 

[dcw4]

well with the play when ur a child, i consider it play, same thing happened between me and my cousins, in fact they were the ones who hit on me one day i remember it clearly, we even fucked, i remember it was soo easy maybe we had small dicks and bigger assholes at the time lol but anyway it is play as long as all members are underage and not much difference between ages, which was the case for me:biggrin1:
man ur stories are quite touching, damn i want to hugg u now :frown1:

thanks man,
i could use one right now, actually i could use one for the past few
years and so on and so on,,
dcw4

 

[BIGBULL29]

I don't have a "Gay Lifestyle".......I have a LIFE........I just happen to be gay

Industrialize, I'm sorry that I offended you with using that term. I don't know else to express the idea.

Some gays find it offensive because it makes it seem that the freedom to choice is embedded in the word "lifestyle." Our lifestyles are he we live, not necessarily how we choose to live. I never saw the association between lifestyle and choice.

What do you call that when a man's whole life is about being in the gay scene? That's the kind of person I was describing in my last post. If the word "gay lifestyle" is offensive, then what do you call it? Living out gay culture to its fullest?:biggrin1:

Being straight and married with kids is also a lifestyle.

 

[BIGBULL29]

Much discussion on this one already, but statistically, about one third of the men who "come out" eventually go back in. In other words, about a third of men who think of themselves as gay at some point in their life come to doubt it later. Far from the immediate suggestions on the first page that it is impossible, it is actually rather common.

I think there is some truth. I'm not sure why so many folks on here refuse to believe that sexuality is very malleable over time for some.

I was not really into the big cock fetish about 7 years ago. Maybe in 10 years, I won't be into that anymore? Ok...it's unlikely.:biggrin1: