Richard Simmons

Discussion in 'Celebrity Endowments' started by sortofbigthen, Oct 6, 2007.

  1. sortofbigthen

    sortofbigthen New Member

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    My friend works on his TV show, "The Richard Simmons Dance, Frolic and Wobble Hour" and has informed me that while his penis is nothing to write home about (seriously, DO NOT write home about it, mother will NOT care) his nuts are enormous and prone to escpaing during particularly strenuous routines.

    When a rogue plum appears, the camera men are instructed to close in on Mr Simmons face (who will relate a story about his dog) while my friend slides in on his back and taps said man grape back into the safety of the leotard.
     
  2. earllogjam

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    Ewww. I never think of Richard Simmons as having genitalia. Kind of like how you would never imaging an Oscar Award having one or Mr. Rogers.
     
  3. badboybryce

    badboybryce Active Member

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  4. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Is it just me or is this fitness guru a little fatty!
     
  5. Divine1

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    What an unusual person to post on here....no opinion or reaction.
     
  6. ManiacalMadMan

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    You know that is a very interesting kind of job your friend has there Since the show tends to be taped (do some research) the cameras would stop rolling and Simmons could tend to the matter himself


    Wonder why I never get job offers of this kind to do on baseball players when they have their gear accidents
     
  7. sortofbigthen

    sortofbigthen New Member

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    Are you calling my friend Magic Danny a liar?

    He records the show in front of a live audience and it wouldn't do to subject them to him shuffling his plums. He has an image to maintain and one that would be ruined if word got round that he had no control over his outer parts.

    When a teste pops out the floor manager shouts, "Nut escape, we have nut escape people" at which point, Magic Danny lies down on a skateboard, slides out and taps them back with a toffee hammer.

    (As a side point, he's called Magic Danny because he once made a yaught appear in a vetinary waiting room)
     
  8. pavement

    pavement New Member

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    Would that make it a highly specialised skill?
     
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  9. pavement

    pavement New Member

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    What's a yaught?
     
  10. ManiacalMadMan

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    I do not know of this Danny of whom you speak so I can not call him a liar I just said it was strange
    So having some weirdo on a skateboard working his goods is going to make the audience keep quiet? I think this image would be more damaging than a common place every day thing of genital adjustment which most men do just as many women at times adjust their breasts in their holding cells (the bra) NOt sure if for women this is for all breasts or only on the implants or only on the naturals

    It still seems strange Have you ever been to the filming of this show? Where can I get tickets to see it? Will Danny let me be the assistant one day?


    And then for a last note That hammer thing makes me cringe it sounds painful
     
  11. tim36

    tim36 Member

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    Richard Simmons is one of the few people I look at as asexual, in that I never think of him that way, I do respect the work that he does though.
     
  12. sortofbigthen

    sortofbigthen New Member

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    There is a table he stands in front of during the procedure (the crew have debbed it the "Nut Hut") so that the audience don't see what's going on.

    From their point of view he goes behind it with his balls dangling, then steps out with his leotard repacked.

    I'm sure Simmons would do the task himself but for the following two reasons:

    a) He's too big of a star. People of his calibre don't ever touch their nuts. George Lucas hasn't touched his penis for over 13 years.

    2) His hands remain above the desk so to complete the illusion.

    This is the truth and swear on the island of Crete.
     
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