Richard Simmons

[sortofbigthen]

My friend works on his TV show, "The Richard Simmons Dance, Frolic and Wobble Hour" and has informed me that while his penis is nothing to write home about (seriously, DO NOT write home about it, mother will NOT care) his nuts are enormous and prone to escpaing during particularly strenuous routines.

When a rogue plum appears, the camera men are instructed to close in on Mr Simmons face (who will relate a story about his dog) while my friend slides in on his back and taps said man grape back into the safety of the leotard.

 

[earllogjam]

Ewww. I never think of Richard Simmons as having genitalia. Kind of like how you would never imaging an Oscar Award having one or Mr. Rogers.

 

[badboybryce]

I always thought of him as androgynous.

http://socialitelife.com/images/richard_simmons_031407_04-1.jpg

 

[Industrialsize]

Is it just me or is this fitness guru a little fatty!

 

[Divine1]

What an unusual person to post on here....no opinion or reaction.

 

[ManiacalMadMan]

When a rogue plum appears, the camera men are instructed to close in on Mr Simmons face (who will relate a story about his dog) while my friend slides in on his back and taps said man grape back into the safety of the leotard.

You know that is a very interesting kind of job your friend has there Since the show tends to be taped (do some research) the cameras would stop rolling and Simmons could tend to the matter himself


Wonder why I never get job offers of this kind to do on baseball players when they have their gear accidents

 

[sortofbigthen]

You know that is a very interesting kind of job your friend has there Since the show tends to be taped (do some research) the cameras would stop rolling and Simmons could tend to the matter himself


Wonder why I never get job offers of this kind to do on baseball players when they have their gear accidents

Are you calling my friend Magic Danny a liar?

He records the show in front of a live audience and it wouldn't do to subject them to him shuffling his plums. He has an image to maintain and one that would be ruined if word got round that he had no control over his outer parts.

When a teste pops out the floor manager shouts, "Nut escape, we have nut escape people" at which point, Magic Danny lies down on a skateboard, slides out and taps them back with a toffee hammer.

(As a side point, he's called Magic Danny because he once made a yaught appear in a vetinary waiting room)

 

[pavement]

You know that is a very interesting kind of job your friend has there Since the show tends to be taped (do some research) the cameras would stop rolling and Simmons could tend to the matter himself


Wonder why I never get job offers of this kind to do on baseball players when they have their gear accidents

Would that make it a highly specialised skill?

 

[pavement]

Are you calling my friend Magic Danny a liar?

He records the show in front of a live audience and it wouldn't do to subject them to him shuffling his plums. He has an image to maintain and one that would be ruined if word got round that he had no control over his outer parts.

When a teste pops out the floor manager shouts, "Nut escape, we have nut escape people" at which point, Magic Danny lies down on a skateboard, slides out and taps them back with a toffee hammer.

(As a side point, he's called Magic Danny because he once made a yaught appear in a vetinary waiting room)

What's a yaught?

 

[ManiacalMadMan]

Are you calling my friend Magic Danny a liar?

I do not know of this Danny of whom you speak so I can not call him a liar I just said it was strange

He records the show in front of a live audience and it wouldn't do to subject them to him shuffling his plums. He has an image to maintain and one that would be ruined if word got round that he had no control over his outer parts.

So having some weirdo on a skateboard working his goods is going to make the audience keep quiet? I think this image would be more damaging than a common place every day thing of genital adjustment which most men do just as many women at times adjust their breasts in their holding cells (the bra) NOt sure if for women this is for all breasts or only on the implants or only on the naturals

When a teste pops out the floor manager shouts, "Nut escape, we have nut escape people" at which point, Magic Danny lies down on a skateboard, slides out and taps them back with a toffee hammer.

It still seems strange Have you ever been to the filming of this show? Where can I get tickets to see it? Will Danny let me be the assistant one day?


And then for a last note That hammer thing makes me cringe it sounds painful

 

[tim36]

Richard Simmons is one of the few people I look at as asexual, in that I never think of him that way, I do respect the work that he does though.

 

[sortofbigthen]

I do not know of this Danny of whom you speak so I can not call him a liar I just said it was strange
So having some weirdo on a skateboard working his goods is going to make the audience keep quiet? I think this image would be more damaging than a common place every day thing of genital adjustment which most men do just as many women at times adjust their breasts in their holding cells (the bra) NOt sure if for women this is for all breasts or only on the implants or only on the naturals


It still seems strange Have you ever been to the filming of this show? Where can I get tickets to see it? Will Danny let me be the assistant one day?


And then for a last note That hammer thing makes me cringe it sounds painful

There is a table he stands in front of during the procedure (the crew have debbed it the "Nut Hut") so that the audience don't see what's going on.

From their point of view he goes behind it with his balls dangling, then steps out with his leotard repacked.

I'm sure Simmons would do the task himself but for the following two reasons:

a) He's too big of a star. People of his calibre don't ever touch their nuts. George Lucas hasn't touched his penis for over 13 years.

2) His hands remain above the desk so to complete the illusion.

This is the truth and swear on the island of Crete.