Road Rage

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Flashy, Feb 19, 2008.

  1. Flashy

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    How many of you have experienced road rage, either as the agressor, or the victim, or as the passenger with a "road rage" type driver etc. ?


    I grew up in a family with a father who was an utter maniac on the road...it was truly frightening, so much so that from the time i was cognizant of it at about 3-4 years of age, to the time when i was old enough to pointedly say "I am never driving with you again" (because getting some place is not worth dying over) I felt myself in virtual terror at all times in an automobile with this person.

    He cared nothing for the fact that he had his wife and two children in the car with him, he never failed to go 90-100 mph on the highway if he could get away with it, and would always weave in and out to get ahead pull up to within feet of a slower driver in the left lane and begin honking and flashing his highbeams for that car to get out of the way...it was like a big sick game to him...and every perceived insult or slight he received, was a reason for him to give the finger to someone, or begin cursing viciously in our car...

    whether in traffic on a street, when he would explode for no reason at nobody in particular, or cutoff by someone, or at high speed on a highway, he never failed to go over the edge, to the point of causing utter terror in our car, and getting involved in high speed "duels" on the highway with other likeminded maniacs, who could not handle any kind of slight, endangering other motorists and their families as well as those in the "duel"

    I grew up with this terror virtually every day of my life, as he would drive me and my sibling to school in the city every day on his way to work, and then religiously travelling away and home on the weekends, to all random drives in between.

    I honestly do not know my family lived without being killed in one of the thousands of events like that...it was utterly terrifying, and had a profound effect on how myself and mother and siblings are in cars even now, 20 years later...we are all incredibly tense and nervous drivers, though we are all intelligent, safe, and sane, going fast but not being manic, not cutting off people i.e. normal.

    ironically in all those 20 some years, he was only in one accident, a headon collision with just me in the car, which was caused not by rage, but by a very icy backroad in the middle of winter in New England, where the car went out of control....fortunately, both cars were probably not going more then 20-25 MPH, so while the impact was great, it was not nearly so bad, and there were no serious injuries...


    Can anyone relate to this at all? The road rage aspect and the terror it causes both momentarily when it occurs and in those who experience it regularly over a long time?

    Either the kind you experience because of someone close to you, or the type that you see with maniac other drivers who care nothing for safety or sanity?

    Have you ever been in any terrible confrontations because of it? Or a bad accident because of it?


    I know it is prevalent because it is a very real situation, but how has it affected or not affected some of you?

    I still remember those terrifying car rides, since it was a regular event, and while I am not "haunted" by them, it is still a terrifying history of it.

    anyone else?
     
  2. Bbucko

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    Part of this comes from confusing the privilege of driving a car with some sort of inalienable right. Part as well comes from people thinking that they are insulated from being a part of civil society when in their cars, as if it affords them some super-hero status.

    Cars...hate 'em.
     
  3. B_sugarandspice

    B_sugarandspice New Member

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    Wow, I'm glad you guys all don't have PTSD and that you made it safe and sound.

    Here's one of mine...
    My mom was wiggin' out behind the wheel and when I started crying because I was terrified she reached back and blacked my eye.

    When we arrived at my aunt's house after my mom's freak out my Aunt' asked what happened to Realname's eye?

    My mother said , " I socked her. I had to .She was hysterical"
    My Aunt couldn't stand up to her and just got quiet.

    I know quite a bit about being terrified in cars with maniac drivers and fearing for the life of my sister and baby brother.

    Many times I prayed a lot and kept my eyes closed!
    It was like I just embraced the idea that I might die because it was too much for me to live in fear.
    I felt a calm come over me and I knew everything would be alright even if I died.
     
  4. B_Bette

    B_Bette New Member

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    During times of high stress and overwhelming emotions, I have had my own road rage. It passed.

    We all experience both sides, from time to time. At its absolute worse, it could end in murder.

    I don't think it's about "getting some place." It's about control and power and personal rage. It doesn't have to manifest itself on the road, it could be any type of abuse; physical, sexual, verbal....

    I grew up in sheer terror of my mother, and it was never a road rage issue. The point I'm making is that it's all forms of the same thing.
     
  5. B_sugarandspice

    B_sugarandspice New Member

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    ^ I agree. The car is just another instrument for abuse.

    One time I was being tailgated by some guys and when I took my shotgun from the back seat to the front seat of my car they found their brake petal and slowed the hell down!
     
  6. Flashy

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    yes...that is a good point...

    I should also say that it also becomes an extension of the person's identy, and every thing that is done to that person become's an insult to their "mahood"

    I should stress, that this man, my father, was not some criminal or weirdo, but in fact was the CEO of his own corporation and a ridiculously successfull businessperson, but who had a vicious temper and a serious sense of both entitlement and high sensitivity to his perception of being insulted (ironically, this man, my father, turned out to be a closeted homosexual, whose rage and bad temper in general were no doubt exacerbated by his inability to "come out" ) and his car really was an extension of his manhood being insulted in a twisted way...

    I just wonder how much of it, (in men anyway) is tied into a "mine's bigger then yours" mentality, and being insulted etc...and not realizing it is not personal, but just driving.

    how stupid :rolleyes:
     
  7. Flashy

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    Ican relate to that fear completely....my father did in fact hit me several times while in the car, causing me a split lip, bloody nose and black eyes as well...my sister, who was younger, was smart enough to always sit directly bejhind him, so he could never reach her...though in all fairness to him, he would never dream of hitting her, just me. Nevertheless, the level of fear he caused never truly goes away. and as such there was never a time she did not sit behind him...and he always treated her like a princess...so since she was still so scared, that says alot about how much fear that rage can instill.
     
  8. Bbucko

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    I have worked for many variations on the theme of your father for years. I know the type well.

    Stupid, indeed!
     
  9. Flashy

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    yes i agree...it is definitely about power and control...well said.

    I have to say i have been in a thousand potentially "raging" situations, but not once have i ever gone past mild annoyance, mainly because of the terrible memories i had...

    I think alot of it is "transferrence" in a way...when you grow up with something terrible, people rarely are moderate to that source of terror or angst...i.e. people either become it, or become extremely "anti" it...i.e. if a child has a parent who is very bad at communicating to their child or something, the child will grow up to either become uncommunicative as an adult to their child, or as a result of it, go the opposit route saying "I will never do that to my child" and make sure they live by those rules.

    (of course this is just my conjecture, but i see that regularly, and it is the way i tend to be on issues like that)

    For example, my father is absolutely terrible to people who "serve" him (waiters/waitresses, airplane check in counter staff, etc. etc.) as a result of my embarassment at watching this my whole life, i went the total opposite way, and am as kind as possible to those folks (but maybe because im just a kinder person then my father) though i know some people who grow up with that, and then became mean to those folks themselves.

    I think road rage is probably a similar development
     
  10. SpeedoGuy

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    I don't really know if road rage is any worse now than it was in the past, but, regardless, I've seen some scary stuff happen in my years. I don't like it not one single bit.

    Not many people really seem to take road rage very seriously. Many seem to be under the impression that road rage is pretty much a juvenile-like trait, just a harmless expression of emotion like flippin' the bird. People shrug their shoulders and mutter "boys will be boys" as if that's all there was to it.

    Those are the same people who've never experienced a crash at highway speeds and felt firsthand the damage that can result.
     
  11. Flashy

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    stupid...and sad.

    all about power and control....

    it is funny, because all my friends never believed he was gay once they found out, because they all said he "projected such a ragefull or strong Alpha male type of personality" (even though his voice and his mannerisms tended to be more typical of what people consider to be more effeminate)

    it took me 25 years till I saw that, and i never saw the other side, because he covered it up with such rage and anger, that many confused his anger and rage volcanic temper as being "manly" or "manlike"...when truly it was just an expression of a sad and insecure man, who took everything as an insult to his manhood, and not for just what it was...someone cut him off not to insult him, but they simply wanted to get to the exit ramp before him.

    he still does not understand that.

    At his office, he had 90 people working for him, so he never had to worry about being insulted or disrespected, but on the road, people are just as "equal" to him, at an airport, "underlings" can keep him from getting on the plane, etc etc.

    it is all about his lack of control both over his own life and the situation.

    it is very difficult on those around them, be they family like me, or types like you had the misfortune of working for those types.

    really wretched having to deal with that kind of person.
     
  12. Flashy

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    yes

    very well said...

    there is nothing harmless about out of control anger, high speeds, and dozens of other 2 ton and up vehicles flying along on a limited sized piece of cement, with tons of other factors involved (like weather, no shoulders, construction)
     
  13. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    YouTube - The Offspring - BMX - Bad Habit
    This is my favorite "road rage" song.
    It will start with "keep 'em seperated but then go on to "Bad habit"
    I wouldn't suffer so much road rage if there was fewer stupid drivers on the road.
     
  14. Flashy

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    with those stupid drivers, have you ever found yourself so enraged that your actions were (or you worried they were close to becoming) a danger to yourself or others on the road though?
     
  15. Rikter8

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    I am a road rage driver.

    Generally I do not like other cars near me, simply because they do stupid things. (i.e. Pull out in front of me then slow down, or cut in front of me just because they dont want to let anyone by)

    Most drivers let off around 70mph from playing around. I usually pass to win, and I use 100% throttle doing it.
    Is there an excuse for it? Other than a world full of stupid Incompetent drivers, no.
    I continue to this day to struggle with my driving sanity which every day is tried.
    I am a very aggressive driver, however I do know when to do what, and how without risking lives of anyone around me.
    I think this is where some people lapse, and I also have had lapses too.

    One that really troubles me to this day, was a black guy in a Cadillac.
    Hes cruising down I75 in the left lane (Passing lane), and suddenly slams on his brakes - for no reason other than keeping traffic from passing him.
    I nailed my brakes, jogged around the semi he had me wedged between, and passed both of them. We continued to teeter totter on 75 and we got into heavy traffic. I started to zig in and out of cars - something I usually dont do with my truck, and I think...I went into a colvulsive fit, because I couldnt feel my body, I couldnt breathe, all I could do is steer hard, quick and hammer through the moving obstacles.
    Part of me wanted to just spin him out into the concrete girder.
    Part of me wishes he would have never hit his brakes sending me into a fit.

    I have been involved in 3 accidents.
    Two accidents, I was Rear Ended by drivers that were not paying attention. The Third was from an old man in a tahoe that had to pass my old red car, just because it wasnt fashionable to be behind an old car - he cut too soon and chopped off my front quarter.
    Dont worry - I sent him, the tahoe, and his wife in the ditch. He's just lucky I didnt flip him over, because I had full control of his vehicle at that time.

    I'll admit, I do have a bit of the "Mines better than yours" mentality..but it's more of "Look at what this pile of junk can do that your pretty car cant".

    My Family is the same way - they will not let me drive while they are in the vehicle, as I don't put up with peoples nonsense on the road.

    Am I this speeding wreckless maniac kid? No. I actually drive around 60 on the way home, and drive anywhere on the speed limit to 5 mph above, just to go with the flow of traffic.
    When I play at high speeds, Its in an appropriate area, open, with lots of wiggle room. I'm not for kids speeding down residential areas - thats just trouble waiting to happen.

    Sugar - that isn't even funny, and IF you Indeed DID do that, you most likely would have been arrested and imprisoned. Your damn lucky they didn't turn you in.
     
  16. SpeedoGuy

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    I haven't.

    I feel anger, yes, but how I react to it is my choice. I don't let the actions of other drivers determine my driving style.
     
  17. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    im guilty of it, i wont lie. I have been getting better since changing meds and allowing myself to have more time to get where im going.
     
  18. Flashy

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    i agree...well said. Road ragers don't have that sense of control/choice or seem to lack the ability to "switch off"
     
  19. Flashy

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    but do you ever feel you are being "dangerous"? I.e. do you ever feel that you are passing a point where you are no longer merely "angry" but in fact become a danger to yourself or others on the road?
     
  20. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    Not regularly when i get angry, but i have been to that point. I'm not a violent person to the point of following them home and busting their windshields with a baseball bat. I dont even flip people off, but you better bet i verbally abuse them in the privacy of my own car.

    What i do isnt always right or safe, but im learning to control it. I also go grocery shopping in the middle of the night to avoid traffic, trying to find a parking space and waiting in line.

    I have a lot yet to overcome, but i am getting there. I'm impatient and impulsive at times.
     
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