Role reversal question.

Wantingmore1

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Don't laugh. Serious question here. Normally the man has sex on the brain all day and women not as frequent. This is not the case in my home. We are just the opposite. I've tried some crazy things to arouse him with little success. I could use some suggestions. Please help.
 

dixmcgee

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If being direct hasn't worked consistently try being sexy without being as forward. Dress sexily, which may mean more or less clothes, and parade yourself as a sexual object. He'll get it, and better yet it'll seem like his idea.
 

Wantingmore1

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I have to admit I've been forward at times. Perhaps this would fit the desperate category. Met him for lunch one day. Handed him a key for a room in the Marriott across the street with instructions to meet me after work. My thought was to meet him in the elevator with heels, stockings, and my leather coat. Short version, it didn't go as planned.
 

Popyuu

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*Cliché alert!!!*

Have you tried talking to him about it?

What? That'll never work! And when i say never i mean might. That'll might work!

If he's feeling insecure for any reason, has something else going on that he's nervous about or just plain not feeling all that sexy himself, that could be part of the problem. Only real way to find out would be to talk to him about it.

That or going doing a complete 180 and letting him initiate the sexy time. Don't know, some guys like the "thrill of the hunt".
 

Wantingmore1

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What? That'll never work! And when i say never i mean might. That'll might work!

If he's feeling insecure for any reason, has something else going on that he's nervous about or just plain not feeling all that sexy himself, that could be part of the problem. Only real way to find out would be to talk to him about it.

That or going doing a complete 180 and letting him initiate the sexy time. Don't know, some guys like the "thrill of the hunt".

Porn??? I could see living in a fantasy world being a problem. This is going to sound conceited, but I'm half decent in the looks area. I'm tall, long hair, and have boobs. For me though, a relationship is more than about the looks. Truth be told, if he wanted me for my looks he would want to divorce me every morning. Long hair can support a Medusa look pretty quick. We've been together for over 10 years. Sex should come with the package and better as time goes on... as you get to know the person more intimately. I'm rambling... Yes I've had my morning nectar:).

Talk to him??? My normal first response is to isolate myself. I owe it to him to talk. Insecure... That I could see. Perhaps there something I do that causes it??? Stress???? His job is stressful. Talk it is. If any of you believe in pray I sure could use it.

Thanks!!
 

elvid

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Don't laugh. Serious question here. Normally the man has sex on the brain all day and women not as frequent. This is not the case in my home. We are just the opposite. I've tried some crazy things to arouse him with little success. I could use some suggestions. Please help.

I guess the obvious question to ask is, has he always been like this? I mean, at the start of your relationship was his sex drive low; or has he lost interest over time?

It's definitely worth trying to have an open and honest discussion with him about how he sees the importance of sex in a long-term relationship. It's not uncommon for men to want companionship/friendship in relationships, but not really be that bothered about sex. Or, it might be an issue of him needing something more unusual and experimental than vanilla sex for him to get turned on. Or it might that he has worries that are preventing him being interested in sex etc.

Until you talk to him and understand the issues he has, I'm not sure there's any good way of knowing what you can do to improve the situation.
 
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puckman4

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I guess the obvious question to ask is, has he always been like this? I mean, at the start of your relationship was his sex drive low; or has he lost interest over time?

It's definitely worth trying to have an open and honest discussion with him about how he sees the importance of sex in a long-term relationship. It's not uncommon for men to want companionship/friendship in relationships, but not really be that bothered about sex. Or, it might be an issue of him needing something more unusual and experimental than vanilla sex for him to get turned on. Or it might that he has worries that are preventing him being interested in sex etc.

Until you talk to him and understand the issues he has, I'm not sure there's any good way of knowing what you can do to improve the situation.
unfortunately her hubby not your friend or you could take care of her
 

Popyuu

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Porn??? I could see living in a fantasy world being a problem. This is going to sound conceited, but I'm half decent in the looks area. I'm tall, long hair, and have boobs. For me though, a relationship is more than about the looks. Truth be told, if he wanted me for my looks he would want to divorce me every morning. Long hair can support a Medusa look pretty quick. We've been together for over 10 years. Sex should come with the package and better as time goes on... as you get to know the person more intimately. I'm rambling... Yes I've had my morning nectar:).

Talk to him??? My normal first response is to isolate myself. I owe it to him to talk. Insecure... That I could see. Perhaps there something I do that causes it??? Stress???? His job is stressful. Talk it is. If any of you believe in pray I sure could use it.

Thanks!!

Ok the last thing you want to do is isolate yourself or put anything negative on yourself about the way you look or how you've done things. That will not end well at all.

And yeah hate to say it but it isn't part of the package...the marriage package...not his...oh you know what i mean. Even though it may not seem like it, guys have moments when they don't want to do anything sexual too. It may not be all that usual but it happens.

Seriously though, don't jump to conclusions. I honestly couldn't tell you what the problem is but i do know that if you start to feel insecure about yourself, you'll have another problem to deal with and seeing as how you aren't getting the attention you need from him now it'll only make things worse for the both of you.

On the list of things it could be though, theres ED, lack of exercise, lack of sleep, depression, some sort of medical problem, or you know...the other negative stuff. But once again ya won't know until you know.
 

Wantingmore1

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Thanks for the words of wisdom everyone. Talking with him was excellent advice however I spent most of my time listening to what he had to say. There are things he needs to work out himself and things we'll need to work on together. What we need is time. I love him.
 

nicenycdick

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Thanks for the words of wisdom everyone. Talking with him was excellent advice however I spent most of my time listening to what he had to say. There are things he needs to work out himself and things we'll need to work on together. What we need is time. I love him.

I understand all of that.
 
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185248

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Don't laugh. Serious question here. Normally the man has sex on the brain all day and women not as frequent. This is not the case in my home. We are just the opposite. I've tried some crazy things to arouse him with little success. I could use some suggestions. Please help.

Guessing how long you have been together...but, lay out on the bed as a surprise different tools of sexual enjoyment. From the ordinary to the extraordinary. Pick the right night or day, and play for a couple of hours what tingles and does not. Have straws handy on who goes first in each instance.

It can be a role reversal thing too, as you say, bondage..etc, who knows? Imagination and fantasy can be dangerous though in the wrong hands :) :)

There are fifty ways to leave your lover, but a million different ways to fuck. Ok, maybe I exaggerate a bit, 49 ways :)
 
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185248

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*Cliché alert!!!*

Have you tried talking to him about it?

He may be hearing impaired. It's called "Relationship deafness" . A recently discovered syndrome when one partner 'tunes out', or becomes hard of hearing, of a partners concerns of an impending Titanic like incident. One minute, king of the world, next, the cold hard truth of reality.

Ok, grammar police, over use of, of.:cop::post:
 
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someperson

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Don't laugh. Serious question here. Normally the man has sex on the brain all day and women not as frequent. This is not the case in my home. We are just the opposite. I've tried some crazy things to arouse him with little success. I could use some suggestions. Please help.

Sexually harass him, that should get the point across.

i.e grab his crotch (Not too hard)
zip zipper down a feel him up.
 

B_carey579

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Don't laugh. Serious question here. Normally the man has sex on the brain all day and women not as frequent. This is not the case in my home. We are just the opposite. I've tried some crazy things to arouse him with little success. I could use some suggestions. Please help.

It's nothing to laugh about at all.

We all live in double standard patriarchy where women's real thoughts and opinions are still not known at all.

Women think about it and want it and need it and like it...as much as men.

Two Words - Tina Belcher
 

ThatGuy1980

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