1. D_Foscurinus Ambrosine Freedicke

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    Hey Guys!

    I was just wondering if you could say that in gay relationships one would always be the "female" part and one always the "male" part? And do these roles like top and bottom have certain looks in daily life? In appearance and dress style maybe? Or physical appearance?

    Ciao again!
     
  2. nudeyorker

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    Is this for real or am I on candid camara?
     
  3. Luke2202

    Luke2202 New Member

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    From experience I would say that there are no roles played- people just do what is comfortable. There may be some attitudes related to top/bottom behavior (ie domination, servitude) but tops are just as likely to cook dinner and clean the house as bottoms.
     
  4. surferboy

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    why are you humoring him? =/
     
  5. DaMoose

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    To put it simple, in my relationship I "wear" the pants in the bed, and he "wears" the pants otherwise.

    Although I'm in the high school to college transition, and he's already in college full time with a full time job, so he's just able to support us better.. Every one thinks that we're both tops, but he's bottom. He's a little thicker than me (muscle), shorter, with a beard, and almost always in a business suit (ties are SO HOT). He's more literal about things always argueing (he's goign to be a lawyer), and I'm way more free about everything. Rather then a business suit, I am wearing a pair of flip flops shorts and either a polo or a tee shirt. When we go out, I'm wearing formal A&F, he's wearing something wait to "spiffy" for me to wear. I think we defy the "stereotype" of a gay couple. Did I help at all?

    MOOSE
     
  6. sizequeen8

    sizequeen8 Member

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    Good for you Moose. You sound like you are really happy with your boy. And by the size of your cock, i would have to assume that your boy is really happy with you too. Best of luck in your college transition.
     
  7. fortiesfun

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    Trusting that these are serious questions, the answer is that "gay" relationships really don't work by str8 rules. (Neither do str8 ones, but that is a different topic.) As you grow more accustomed to the world of gay/str8/bi sexuality, I think you'll find infinite variety.
     
  8. nudeyorker

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    Fortiesfun...I'ts clear...You are a much nicer person than I am!
     
  9. fortiesfun

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    Probably what this reveals is that when I was young, oh so very long ago, I was really dumb about this stuff. Glass houses...
     
  10. smoothrnb

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    This topic came up recently for my partner and me. A physician asked us who "played" the "female" role in our relationship. We almost fell over laughing to due the outrageous nature of the question. Even though I am more of a bottom, I am not 100% bottom. My partner and I do enjoy switching roles...that's the fun part about being gay...:biggrin1:
     
  11. HotBulge

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    It's probably safe to say that the personality that you had before you enter a gay relationship is the one you will maintain later within a relationship. Roles are fluid depending on need and aptitude.

    This doesn't quite answer the question, but would you ask a single mother with children whether she plays the role of a woman or a man. Her answer is that she is/has to be both a mother and a father to her children. She understands his womanhood through a lifetime of her gender identity, but she equally has to embrace masculinity to survive. In the same way, gay couples assume roles associated with the opposite sex to meet their needs in a relationship.
     
  12. Altairion

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    I'm mainly with HotBulge. My relationship is definitely a fluid one based on what many people see as 'roles.' We're both who we are and we each have things we do that make us seem more dominant or more submissive, but the lines between the two are so blurred that there isn't really any distinction.

    I don't doubt that there are some relationships that seem to have distinct roles. One guy could be completely butch and the other completely flaming, so their interests lead them to follow certain roles that fit into stereotypes. However this isn't the norm from what I've seen so far. Just remember that there's a wide spectrum of relationships between homosexual people...quite similar to the wide spectrum of relationships between heterosexual people.
     
  13. WildHoney

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    Hotbulge, That was a lovely response.

    I thought some of you were way too harsh on this guy, it seemed like a genuine question to me.

    Curiosity is not an attack or put down. Kindly educating enquiring minds on gay lifestyles is a great way of dispelling any stereotypes or rumours.

    x

    Honey
     
  14. Altairion

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    I completely agree.

    Ok everyone. Group hug :rolleyes:
     
  15. HotBulge

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    Let's take it to the "flesh pile room" that Forties Fun was talking about. :biggrin1: (About a year ago, there were times when posters would come into such harmony and agreement on the board, despite different backgrounds, that wanted to burst out into a spontaneous love fest/ flesh pile

     
  16. headbang8

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    Diff86, I appreciate that you're curious, and think you asked the question in a perfectly acceptable way.

    The answer, of course, is that what you do in bed has little to do with the way you act in public. There are flaming, effeminate gay men, and many are incredibly aggressive tops. Plenty of macho men enjoy what you'd call a submissive posture; it's a way for them to let down their facade and give themselves over to pleasure. You can't pick 'em.

    In my single days, the pictures that accompnied gay dating sites on the (then) early web amused me. Men would be dressed in leather and roughneck gear for a portrait, but the background would reveal regency furniture and a poodle.

    Here's a personal insight. My boy and I are both tops. But we're in love and we turn each other on. What do we do in bed? Occasionally, he plays bottom, and even more rarely, I grit my teeth and submit. Mostly, we improvise.

    Neither of us come across as gay, apparently. So nobody seems to be able to pick who's the Mommy and who's the Daddy. It upsets them...they want to see a relationship between men through a heterosexual lens.

    It doesn't work that way for guys (and in a non-sexist relationship, it shouldn't work that way for a mixed couple, either.) If it makes more sense for him to take charge of something (like the yard--he loves to garden and can really put his back into a shovel) then he takes charge. If it makes more sense for me to take charge (like driving; he never got his license) then I do.

    This works 99% of the time. However, putting together Ikea bookshelves ABSOLUTELY presses all of our primal buttons. "No, YOU just hold it there, and I'll screw this bit...no, that doen't go there...let ME hold that while you...gimme the screwdriver...can you go faster with that allen key...no, THIS way...I told you that was upside down..." and we end up in fisticuffs.

    And every so often we have the Housewife Argument. When we first started getting serious (what a charmingly old-fashioned expression, getting serious...) I asked him what his ambition was. "I want to be a housewife," he told me. "That ain't gonna happen," I replied, "I'm the one who wants to be a housewife." The argument escalated until I had him in a head lock, shouting "Say it, BITCH, what are you?" and he gave in, agreeing to be the working stiff while I damn well packed his lunch and had a tray of fucking cookies made for when he got home. I sure as hell showed HIM who wore the apron in this house, yes sir.

    I think that was the closest he ever came to being a bottom.

    HB8

    P.S. Altarion, I don't recall you being gay. When did this happen? You sly dog.
     
  17. fortiesfun

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    That is an idea that I always favor. Let's go. (The OP is invited. It is the best way to get an answer to his question.)
     
  18. DaMoose

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    (takes off pants)

    I want to join, there isn't another age requirement on this is there? I had to wait so damn long to finally be 18!!!

    MOOSE
     
  19. dannymawg

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    I like fucking cookies :biggrin1:
     
  20. Altairion

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    I snuck in under the radar when I realized I was falling for a friend of mine that came out to my roommate. That was last year, so it's been a while now. Long enough to be dating that guy for close to 10 months :cool:

    btw, you are so making those fucking cookies for our next fleshpile. DaMoose, anyone and everyone here is welcome to the fleshpile...except the lurkers. They prefer to watch from the shadows.
     
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