Romance vs Sex for Valentine's Day

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Henryclan, Feb 4, 2008.

  1. Henryclan

    Henryclan Member

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    After being married for 25+ years, I've tried to spice up Valentine's Day over the past 5 years or so by doing something a little "sexier" for my wife. Neither of us has a very adventurous background in sex or relationships so it doesn't take much to be "sexier" than what we're used to or done in the past. Unfortunately, I've missed the mark more often that not since she is more interested in the notion of romance and I've approached it more from a sexual standpoint (typical male attitude I think).

    I've done romantic getaways with mixed results, I've tried warming lubricants with sex toys for me to use on her that don't seem to excite her, I've tried exotic underware for both of us that amuses her but stay buried in the drawer year after year, etc., etc. so I'm interested in new and exciting ideas. To her credit, everything I've done she has been willing to try but for most things we try it once or twice and it then sits in the drawer for months or years, forgotten (by her).

    Ladies, what gifts have worked best for you from your significant other and why? Gentlemen, what have you given your wife/gf that has been well received and really got her juices flowing? What have been your best romantic gifts with a sexual flair? Thanks for the help and suggestions.
     
  2. Gonzo3

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    6 months supplie of AA batterys.
     
  3. Ethyl

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    I've never been a fan of Valentine's Day. I think it's a bullshit holiday designed to sell lots of pink and red crap and prefer that my partner chooses to remember the dates that actually pertain to our relationship.

    If you've been married for 25+ years then I would take a trip down memory lane and find a way to revisit some of your best romantic memories and capitalise on those. What were the best romantic/sexual moments you enjoyed? Why? The best gifts given to me were chosen with what I enjoy or am passionate about in mind. Often with the senses involved. Sometimes with memories of the two of us involved. You know your wife better than anyone and most any woman appreciates her partner paying close attention to what she loves and desires and demonstrating that in some way.
     
  4. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    Henry, for me,what I like best,and is certain to involve a great night for Mr. Ed,is a fabulous dinner at a restaraunt I like,but before that happens,I
    spend the day before, having my hair done and I get to pick out a piece of jewelry,which Ed is happy to buy.
    That for me is a very happy valentines day!
    I never get tired of it either!
    So to recap;
    Dinner
    Jewelry
    sex= A Fabulous Valentines Day!
    cigarbabe:saevil:
     
  5. SpoiledPrincess

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    Men often confuse romance with taking every opportunity to grope their women, romance is in the anticipation, let her know that you want her and still find her every bit as attractive at times when she'll know you're not just mentioning it because you want a fuck. Tell her you want to spoil her for the night, get her a glamorous nighty (sexy and trashy aren't the same, a nighty can be sexy without having that nasty look that means it'll end up in a drawer) try something ankle length and flowing, in a deep red, it'll make her feel like a princess whereas something more overtly 'sexy' might make her just feel like an underdressed whore, run her a bath filled with scented oil, put candles around the bathroom then gently guide her into the bath and wash her gently, take her out and dry her like you'd dry a child then slip the nighty over her warm and scented body, then take her downstairs where instead of fucking her you're going to wait on her hand and foot, serve her the meal you've lovingly prepared. Then cuddle up on the sofa and watch a dvd together, stroke her, kiss her, but don't do anything strongly sexual, spend the night anticipating what you're going to do, then take her to bed and concentrate on doing the things you know she's liked in the past, taking your time to please her.

    A night of pleasure doesn't have to be a night filled with sexual depravity, it can just be a warm and tender night of doing what you do together best :)
     
  6. sandwulf

    sandwulf Member

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    Ok I'll give this one a shot.
    From my admittedly limited personal experience in the past with woman as well as from observations I've made and conversations I've had with my strait friends as well as watching my parents for the last 26 years of there ongoing 35 years of marriage I'll drop my .02 worth in.

    Don't overtly try to make vday about sex. Use the day to remind her how much you are still in love with her after all these years. Try to make the day special for her in any way you can think of, rather then just the stereotypes.
    For example, don't just buy the chocolates and roses and the kinky bedroom toys. If she likes say carnations or lillys or even some god awfully ugly flower better then all others then start with a bouquet of those instead. Show her that you know her and what she likes.

    Find some activities for the day that she truly enjoys that she doesn't get to do often. All the better if it's something that you aren't all that fond of and she knows it. She will appreciate it all the more that you are willing to still do things for her even if it's not something that you really enjoy, just to make her happy. Get your enjoyment of the activity by enjoying her having fun.

    Be romantic, be thoughtful, and make the day all about her.
    The power of a romantic day that you had to put some thought and effort into will always end up better then anything strictly sexually oriented that you can come up with.

    Just my .02 worth.
     
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