Romancing, being romanced, manners

[AlteredEgo]

Receiving my favorite flowers, hyacinths, in the middle of winter, months before they are easily had impressed me greatly once. They were my favorite color as well. I'm really easy to please. I like and expect chivalry. Open my car door and close it behind me, open all doors (I'll stand there until you do at first just to see how naturally it comes to you), pull out and push in my chair, hold my hand, stand on the curb side, etc. Sure I can do these things for myself, but I like to be taken care of. I didn't always, but for six years I was very closely seen to, and I am now quite used to this treatment. I like to be shown something I've never seen or considered before. At the begining of one of the best dates I ever was on, we sat on the floor in an empty section of a bookstore and talked about history and our place in it, and our respective visions of the future. I learned a lot about myself that night and went home with tons of important questions to ask. On another great date I was ushered all over Brooklyn to taste a whole bunch of foods and drinks I'd never tasted, meet a bunch of people I would never have met, and see places I would not have thought of visiting on my own. I've known that man for nearly three years now, and I have experienced something new and cool with him nearly every time I've seen him. Affection. I am an affection junkie. I love physical contact. Hand-holding, cuddles, hugs, kisses, or even just sitting very close are all very nice for me.

Other than that, at a minimum I have to have humor, intelligence, good hygiene and manners.

 

[Love-it]

Lying and exagerating are the great romance killers.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

The 'romance' that gets me everytime isnt chocolates, flowers, dinners etc and has nothing to do with sex

Its ringing a guy and he says "I was just thinking about you" or when he makes me a coffee and says "just the way you like it" and it is..just the way i like it.

It shows he cares enough about me to pay attention to my likes/dislikes and wants to make sure im happy.

 

[Gisella]

Hi. My name is Lennie. Come here often?

:flirt: Hi...Im Gisella..hmm u are good, Lennie...always pleased to meet poets..



"Show me that there can be some mystery
I haven't found.
Throw me a lifeline to the lost at sea,
Don't let me drown."

 

[B_big dirigible]

Well, the English language is just full of surprises.

There are posters here talking about "romance", but I'd have pegged them as bed-hopping skanks. The word has a range of meaning which decreases its utility as a conveyor of information.

My idea of it definitely doesn't include cut flowers. A cut flower is a dead, awful thing - I'd just as soon give her a dead squirrel (it's still cute and fuzzy, right?)

Let this be a lesson, kiddies - don't study botany, or you'll lose any tolerance for the notion that cutting a flower down in its prime is compatible with romance.

 

[JoeNeckbone]

To be truly romantic, with each other , the word " expectation" has to be erased from the common vocabulary.
Expectations make us build a pattern that ,we happen to believe , our beloved one " should " follow.
That kills romance, because there is no way to predict the actions of another person, and, what we end up doing , is , the building of an anteroom to dissappointment.
While, if both parties to the couple give , and give to one another, without consideration in return, without "expectations" about the other person, only then, true romance and true fullfilment develops.
When we give, without expecting , we make someone very happy , and, that happiness, wakes up in that significant other, the will to give....
No need to expect , no need to ask. Where there is no spontaneity to give , there is a problem , unevenness.
... finally , I do not want to receive what I already "expected".
I want to be surprised by the unexpected, which is the ultimate romantic and spontaneous high.

weLL SAID!!!!!!!
I agree totally. Also Control does not allow for imagination. Controlling people do not want any surprises. They live in the past. Imagination is about having a vision of what does not exist yet.
When you even begin to tell somebody this is what I am going to do to you when I'm with you....and you are speaking autobiographically...you are referring to the past..and not allowing for a best ever experience in which the woman possibly shows you a few surprises of her own. Something brand new is always the goal with me. I decline to discuss the past..I imagine the future instead:wink: .

 

[B_Stronzo]

What a surprise.... !!!
I thought of you as a "hands on the job" no nonsense woman.
But I always knew it, no woman, ever , can resist to a charming man. One by one, those defense mechanisms fall, if the right man moves in.
Good to know, we are all human.

What part of what Claire wrote seemed like a 'defense mechanism'?

 

[pichulon]

What part of what Claire wrote seemed like a 'defense mechanism'?

Look who's here....stronzo!

As you can see, I run away from the scheduled reprograming !

Well, about Claire, she is always presented herself as an assertive woman who picks and chooses, uses the stud grab technique, and seemed oblivious and unmindfull to romantic advances.
Defenses, c'mon, all of us have defense mechanisms , different degrees, but, we have those.
I thought Claire was reachable, show your buldge, and chances are, she will try the stud grab technique, and lazo anyone......destination unknown.....
but trying romance...I never thought it would work.
So, I drew inference , from reading her posts.
I guess I was , at least, a little mislead.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

[pichulon]

weLL SAID!!!!!!!
I agree totally. Also Control does not allow for imagination. Controlling people do not want any surprises. They live in the past. Imagination is about having a vision of what does not exist yet.
When you even begin to tell somebody this is what I am going to do to you when I'm with you....and you are speaking autobiographically...you are referring to the past..and not allowing for a best ever experience in which the woman possibly shows you a few surprises of her own. Something brand new is always the goal with me. I decline to discuss the past..I imagine the future instead:wink: .

Yes, control and expectations go in hand in the wrong relationships.

No expectations, no control, no past tenses,the aquivalent of taking a ride in the wildest and biggest roller coaster in the planet. Imagine that ride, full of new sensations, fun and exhilaration.

A relationship based on expectations, control, constant recalling of the past, is like the dull chu chu train at the local mini golf course.....have you seen adults sitting on such trains????

 

[ClaireTalon]

Who said that boys are allowed to do all the things girls are allowed to do ;-) ?

Pichulon, you are absolutely right. I reserve the right for myself to pick my bed partners, and there are situations where the stud grip is an appropriate means, while in other situations even I would put it under the "bad taste" things. I don't differ from other women here: It all depends on the mood. And sometimes I am in a romantic mood, too. *searches for her old Johnny Mathis records*

Look who's here....stronzo!

As you can see, I run away from the scheduled reprograming !

Well, about Claire, she is always presented herself as an assertive woman who picks and chooses, uses the stud grab technique, and seemed oblivious and unmindfull to romantic advances.
Defenses, c'mon, all of us have defense mechanisms , different degrees, but, we have those.
I thought Claire was reachable, show your buldge, and chances are, she will try the stud grab technique, and lazo anyone......destination unknown.....
but trying romance...I never thought it would work.
So, I drew inference , from reading her posts.
I guess I was , at least, a little mislead.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

[Gisella]

:flirt:

Hmmm...the power of a hot man that's hot for u & u feel hot also and everything steams at boiling expressions...soooo romantic!

 

[SurferGirlCA]

Hefty, I do hear you. Selfishness is a turn off in either sex. I think it is ideal when both parties think more for the other person's happiness than they do for themselves.

Exactly, naughty. It's such a simple concept it's always surprising to me that it has to be pointed out - but it does.

Also, in response to an earlier assertion, nice guys DO get laid. Doormats get f*cked over.