Roomate Situation - Strange

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Navengil Nutroll, Feb 10, 2010.

  1. D_Navengil Nutroll

    D_Navengil Nutroll New Member

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    sorry for the weird story, but had to let it out somewhere.

    i share an apartment with someone i have known for about 10 years. up to this point, i assumed he was totally straight. it doesn't matter, but am a little confused by some recent behavior.

    two things about him. he hates cold (i can relate) and he hates being alone. like he wont go to mcdonalds or whatever by himself to grab a burger and coke etc. he has a girlfriend, but he shacks up with other girls alot. i have not really asked what is up. none of my business. maybe they are not committed. i dont know. or maybe he is just a player.

    recently, since it is winter, he has come into my bedroom several times as i was dosing off and asked if he could sleep with me. his br is indeed pretty cold. for some reason, the heating system seems to carry alot more heat into my room versus his. we checked the vents, they are wide open there. anyway, when he sleeps with me, this supposed totally straight guy turns into a great big cuddle type. i dont notice it during the night since i sleep like a rock. but when morning rolls around, his hand is either down deep into downtown underwear or on my underarm (i have warm and hairy pits) so i shrugged it off as "he was just finding a warm spot during the night and had no idea". he also often has his head on my chest.

    i have slept with other guys before and this never happened. sleepovers in high school. sharing a bed during a beach trip. stuff like that.

    does this guy have hidden desires or just someone that moves around alot in his sleep looking for warm spots.

    second clue. the phone rings the other day and he answers. it is a call for me and i am still in bed. our phone is an old cordless type. so he comes into the bedroom to give me the call. before he wakes me up, and i am partially there even though he doesn't know it, i feel a hand lightly running up and down my morning bone. the blankets were off and apparently i was pitching a tent in my underwear.

    i am sorta bi and he knows it. i know, that is like being lightly pregnant. still trying to figure things out so dont yell at me. i told him once i had been with guys before and his reaction was like "thats gross, but do what you want". hence the confusion. my guess is that he is curious, but i feel uncomfortable bringing it up.

    the sleep thing happens about 2-3 times a month. when he doesnt have some ho over for the night. :)
     
  2. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    sounds like a touchy feely type -- enjoys physical touching

    from what you've said, I wouldn't guess homosexual feelings on his part
     
  3. v32bone

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    if you are sorta bi, isn't it time to have some fun? Doesn't sound like he will be shocked...
     
  4. dong-in-khakis

    dong-in-khakis New Member

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    ..don't wonder anymore, he wants you. He's let you know. He wants you bad.
     
  5. legna

    legna Member

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    I think the question you need to ask yourself is how you feel about all of this. Are you turned on or off by waking up next to him with his arm around you or his hand down your drawers? I didn't read any objections to his actions in your post, only a list of things you cite as evidence that he may be bi-curious. If you're at all interested in having sex with him, then talk to him about it the next time he crawls into your bed. Otherwise, buy him a space heater for his room and put a lock on your bedroom door.
     
  6. D_Cateryke Cheesysmell

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    The next time he decides he wants to "sleep over" you might try to wake up in the middle of the night..go pee or something... and pretend you need him to untangle himself from you to see what his reaction is.
     
  7. buzzrider7

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    He's man-curious without a doubt, and the fact that he's obviously comfortable with you and since you've told him you're at least bi-curious makes you a safe place to explore for him.
    Are you attracted to him? If you also see him as a comfortable and safe way to explore your bi-curiousness, then I'd say let things naturally take their course. From what you've written, I'd say it won't be long before you're gettin' busy.
    The one potential problem here is that he is your housemate. So, if in the non-unlikely scenario that things get awkward, you still have to live with the guy and vice-versa. Given this, I'd be very careful about what you do. I'd say the best thing to do would be to talk about it first. Then, if you both admit to being curious and also ok with whatever happens being just some experimental fun that won't change your relationship as housemates, I'd say go for it. But, it sounds like he's being pretty sneaky, which means that he might not be all that comfortable if you call him out on his desires to get it on with you. A few drinks before your chat might be the way to go.
    DEFINITELY keep us posted!! Good luck.
     
  8. MrGoodDate

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    talk talk talk.... neither of you can read the other's mind.
     
  9. reallyhot

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    Lets see...he's using body language to send a message perhaps?
    See what happens if he falls asleep first and you use him for a pillow?
    That might be the lingo he speaks...Good luck!
     
  10. D_Harry_Crax

    D_Harry_Crax Account Disabled

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    Hey, if I had some close friend of mine who I'd known for 10 years, regardless of whether he's straight or gay or bi, and wanted to sleep with me when he's cold at night, I'd say, "sure, any time," as long as neither of us had any other guest. As for what is going on with this guy, doesn't he ever wake up BEFORE you and find his hand down your pants or in your pit and/or his head on your chest? If so, I wonder how he reacts to that. If he shrugs it off, you have one answer, and if shocks the shit out of himself, you have another answer.
     
  11. helgaleena

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    swede has the right idea. If you can't say it, turn it around on him. But waking you up to take the phone by grabbing your morning wood? -- is terribly intimate. Even for a cuddler.
     
  12. B_jeepguy2

    B_jeepguy2 New Member

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    I think he wants you BAD!
     
  13. B_Hey22

    B_Hey22 New Member

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    I think he wants to try things out. He is crious
     
  14. rbkwp

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    With all respect to you both
    If all is Legit with what you say
    Consider assisting him with getting a Psych Assessment
    sexual element is minimal at the moment...
    (not kidding)
    enz
     
  15. Chase1600

    Chase1600 Member

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    So how do you feel about this?

    Do you like him? Is he cute? Does he smell good? What about his dick?

    He likes to sleep with you when itÂ’s cold, do you like to sleep with him? Do you ever find yourself wishing we had more cold nights? Do you ever fall asleep wondering if tonight will be the night and feeling a little tingle?

    If you can answer YES, YES, YES, HOT, YES, YES, YES, then dude, I guess that answers the question.
     
  16. D_Navengil Nutroll

    D_Navengil Nutroll New Member

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    yes he is nice looking. i have no idea what he packs. i never really had a desire to get into anything with him. he's just a roommate who pays his bills on time, so i didnt want to cause any weirdness.
     
  17. AlteredEgo

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    Even if there is a mutual attraction think it very unwise to pursue sexual relations with a housemate, especially a good one.
     
  18. D_Anton_Pavlovich_Jerkhov

    D_Anton_Pavlovich_Jerkhov Account Disabled

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    Haha, you kept me wondering with this question. <<What about his dick?>> :smile: Actually, how relevant is it if he has a large cock or not? Well, maybe for some people this is quite important, but this wouldn't be a priority for me, at least not for a first encounter.

    There is something in the air, and it is bothering you, even if you declare you have no interest in him whatsoever.

    This is delicate position. He has been a good roommate for ten years; it may be hard to find another one like him. You don't want to mess him up. Yet, it is strange that having known him for so long, you still don't consider him to be a friend.

    I think you are entitled to ask him what is going on, since this is a recent behaviour. It may feel awkward to bring this up with him, because he might feel hurt by your suggestion that isgay or something. So, if you decide to put the cards on the table, be careful with your words. Avoid labels.

    Yet, I would prefer to follow Legna's advice. Instead of buying him a portable heater yourself, which would be far too generous, give him the idea. Encourage him, and see what kind of reaction he has.

    You go from there. Depending on his reaction, you will know what to do.
     
  19. str821

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    Chase's question -- Do you ever find yourself wishing we had more cold nights? -- is the most useful thing that's been posted on here. If the answer is yes, you should just try turning the tables on him, subtly at first.
     
  20. billyporn

    billyporn New Member

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    I'm a groper. This is why I warn people I have to share a bed with. I'll wake up in the middle of the night and be spooning someone. Man, woman, find them attractive or not. I don't know what it is, but it's my natural inclination. There may be something sexual going on, or maybe he's just a groper like me and doesn't know it. It's like that scene in Planes, Trains and Automobiles, ya know? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCqcMOB6STc
     
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