Roommate and Nudity

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Chocolatestix, Jan 11, 2010.

  1. Chocolatestix

    Chocolatestix Member

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    So I have two roommates. One of which is very uptight about nudity. We will call him roommate 1. The other is not completely comfortable with nudity but it doesn't really bother him all that much. We will call him roommate 2. And then there is me who doesn't really mind nor care and would rather not have clothes on. When we first started living together they use to think I was weird and crazy because I showered with the door open, more like cracked. But they eventually got over it. I also don't get dressed right away when I get out of the shower because I don't like clothes. I just like to sit around naked until I decide to put clothes on. So yesterday I'm getting out of the shower and I'm drying off like I always do and roommate 1 asks me a question and I was like hold on give me a second to dry off. Now when I come out the bathroom I have my bath towel around my waist. (Neither of my roommates have seen me naked.) So I come out of the bathroom and go to his room and ask what's up. And do you know what he does???? He looks at me covers his eyes and says can you please put some clothes, my room is clothes only. LOL!!!! I'm like are you serious?!?!? I kept asking what do you have to tell me and he was like I'll tell you when you get some clothes on. I was like okay, went to my room was on facebook, checking my email and a few minutes later he came to my room, my door was open but I still had my towel around my waist. And he freaked out again and was like you still don't have any clothes on. So to get him to shut up I put on my bathrobe and then we (roommate 2 was in the mix too but didn't say much) discussed what we needed to discuss.

    Now, I think roommate 1 covering his eyes because I was half naked was a bit much. I've never had anyone cover their eyes when they saw this body half naked and if I were naked his eyes would be anything but closed :biggrin1:. But here is what I was thinking. I could be making light of a serious situtation. Maybe he doesn't like nudity because something happened to him like he was molested or something as a child and then I could see me being like okay I can cover up. But I'm leaning more on the side that it just makes him uncomfortable and if that's the case I'm not going to stop he needs to just get over it.

    Now for my entertain I was thinking about asking him why he is like that bring up the conversation ask has he never been to a beach and seen half naked men, ever been swimming, etc. Then ask if he has ever seen a dude's dick before. My guess is he hasn't and I would offer to show him mine. Of course he is going to protest and I'm going to simply say when do you think someone is just going to offer to show your their dick where you don't have to sneak a look especially if you have a clothes only policy in your room?????? LOL!!! I will try to throw in I'll show you mine if you show me yours but if not I will just show him mine. What do you all think????

    I have not seen him without clothes on and wonders how big or how small he is compared to me. And the thing is he is just so up tight in general that I think any sexual arouse would loosen him up. I've even thought to myself that I would jack him off just to loosen him up. LOL!!!! He has had girlfriends before so he claims but I'm unsure if he is still a virgin.
     
  2. D_CountVonBhigBohner

    D_CountVonBhigBohner Account Disabled

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    I would respect his wishes in his own bedroom. However, if you are paying a third of the rent, you can do what you wish in your own bedroom. I would let him know up front. My roomate could care less what I wear and isn't worried about offending me either. I guess it comes down to finding compatable roomates.
     
  3. RsideNole

    RsideNole New Member

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    I think any solution that creates the least amount of tension/anxiety/screaming is the best option. For example, how would you feel if you were more modest outside your bedroom? This would probably placate your roommate. On the other hand, you would probably feel at home with no clothes on in the kitchen, yet your roommate's head may explode.

    I also think talking to him is solid, but only if your intentions are to understand and help him. If you do it to freak him out, then maybe you can wait to have that talk.

    BTW, I wish my roommates would have offered me handjobs whenever I needed to loosen up!
     
  4. coachreffn

    coachreffn Active Member

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    What you describe as Roommate 1 seems far too extreme to be a healthy adult man. Respect his privacy and his rules in his room. However, it is not extreme for a man to come into the living space with a towel around his waist fresh from the shower (unless there are guests in the house). And in your own room? Hell, I don't care if you were buck naked in your room he had no right to tell you what and when to get dressed. What an old woman. Get a new roommate.
     
  5. sexplease

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    R-E-S-P-E-C-T his wishes. They don't seem unreasonable.
    but your toying with the idea of sex/play/involvement is mischievous if not a bit harassing.
     
  6. whatadork

    whatadork New Member

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    Yeah, the dude is acting totally weird. You can ask him NICELY and without too much prying what his issue is, but I wouldn't push him to answer anything he's not comfortable answering.

    The easiest thing really is like most people here said... in his room respect all his wishes, yours do whatever you want. Public areas, respect his wishes as much as possible. If he's not around, sitting around shirtless is probably ok. But if he's around, keep your shirt on or if he comes in to hang out in the shared area, go put a shirt on. Antagonzing your roomates is dumb unless it really affects you negatively. You're gonna just make life really annoying and awkward for ALL three of you.
     
  7. Guy-jin

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    Dude doesn't want to see your junk. It's not a hard concept. Get over it, put a shirt and some pants on, and respect his wishes.
     
  8. ck85x65

    ck85x65 New Member

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    I too was in a similar situation. Learned the hard way, as you are doing now, and did not repeat the mistake.

    When it came time for me and three other guys to rent a four-bedroom house, we played a kind of ' truth or dare' ... please state outright some personal characteristics / beliefs / habits that you think another person would have trouble with ... how loud do you listen to music ? are you likely to be up all night, and sleep during the day ? do you do your laundry regularly, or only when you have run out of clean clothes ? do you believe in leaving the kitchen clean enough for the next person to cook, or do you clean up only when the rats threaten to eat you ? If you are having sex, do you mind/care if others can hear you / do you offer a sex show on the dining room table while others are present, or do you go to your bedroom and close the door ?

    Eventually we agreed on a basic set of rules : the main floor of the house (kitchen, living, dining, tv den) were considered public areas, and we agreed to keep it clean enough at all times that any one of us could invite in an unexpected visitor; the second floor of the house was private area, where you could be naked / clothed, whatever, or stomping around naked in the morning on your way to the shower with a raging hardon leading the way.

    The problem is that people don't talk about these things, and suddenly small quirks of personality / upbringing / decorum become major problems.

    After a nervous start, we all agreed that we enjoyed being naked. On the second floor only. In one another's presence.

    In other words, frank discussion revealed we could in fact have a code of behaviour that was acceptable to all. Problems averted. Loud music ? Put on yer 'phones ... sleeping in ? leave a scrawled note on the kitchen bulletin board ... brought home a girlfriend and the sex was deafening ? Well, good for you and much congrats the night before, but c'mon, I gotta go to work in the morning ...

    Consideration for all ... and a way to resolve out-of-bounds situations. What's not to like.

    As for the twerp who is having trouble seeing you in a towel ... wow ... I genuinely feel sorry for him, he is pathetic ...
     
  9. Dave NoCal

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    Alright! A guy who freaks out over seeing another's chest has issues. Does he never go to the beach? Nevertheless, he (presumably) pays his share of the expenses. Either you adapt or find another roommate. I recommend the latter.
    Dave
     
  10. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    Word.
     
  11. sxjTheFirst

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    They ARE unreasonable. I can get not wanting to see the OP totally nude but a towel around the waist? Doesn't he ever see shirtless men in the beach? swimming pool?

    Get better room mates !
     
    #11 sxjTheFirst, Jan 13, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2010
  12. maxcok

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    After viewing your gallery, I'm wondering if I might have some issues.
     
  13. Chocolatestix

    Chocolatestix Member

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    Okay, so let me clear up a few things. First off I'm a very open person. Privacy is not a big issue to me and understand I'm on the extreme end. I do not however thing I'm invading anyone's privacy by coming out of the bathroom that is right next to my room in a bath towel. Half of the time he is not even up when I take my shower because I take my shower so late at night. Aside from coming out of the shower, all other times I have clothes on. So it's not like I'm just always naked. While I don't like clothes I don't like being cold. And I was not even in his room more like chillin in the door way.

    The second thing is I have tried to have open dialogue about these issues but he doesn't seem to be able to handle it. For example, I hate when the elephant in the room is being ignored and so one day we were talking about something I don't remember what and I mentioned the site jackinworld to him. And he was all like OMG I can't believe you are so open about things like that. And I was like it's easy when it's so obvious. I don't have a gf and he doesn't have one and he hasn't had any girls or anything over so......... And I do think the site has some good jacking techniques. So a few days later when I asked him has he at least looked at the site he was just like can you not. So I haven't brought it up since.

    Other than this he is a cool roommate and it's not a matter of getting rid of him, it's just I've never experienced a guy like this before just over my chest and it makes me wonder how he got like that and if I know or understood that I would take the issue serious if it were a serious issue.
     
  14. shawnpaul2

    shawnpaul2 Member

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    I think its just how the guy was brought up but now he is a man he needs to see things differently. My cousin is similliar to roommate 1 when he goes to the bathroom he comes out well dress, he cant change his shirt if anyone is in the room I know he never has a problem as a child or never speak speak about nudity but as his cousin ans was sharing a house with him. I open his eyes to a lot of things he sees me in my under wear he freak out. my other house mate was a girl who was also laid back she would come out the bathroom with the towel around her and he would just freak out, his brothers are more open compare to him. He is 37 now and still a virgin I dont kno w if he will ever married or have sex but Me and my other cousin keep pushing him to have a girlfriend mayb one day he will appreciate himself to that he can appreciate another guy and fell comfortable within himself
     
  15. RsideNole

    RsideNole New Member

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    Sorry if I misunderstood, but I thought the main issue deals with the first roommate and nudity? If so, that and masturbation are separate issues.

    It appears there are deeply rooted reasons he is averse to nudity, ones that may have been present for the majority of his life. It will take more than a few conversations, browsing websites and even seeing you partially clothed before his attitude toward nudity begins to change, but he has to be open to it first.

    Again, I may be missing the point. I recommend holding back on anything sexual. Maybe he is not comfortable with his body or his values espouse modesty. Help him become comfortable if he is willing and ensure he does not feel threatened.
     
  16. sexplease

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    oh screw it, do what ever you damn well feel like and see how your life turns out.
    There's nearly 7 billion people on earth and way too many of them selfish and inconsiderate. It's making it rather interesting.
     
  17. ck85x65

    ck85x65 New Member

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    OK, let's try this again ... you are expected to cover up because one of your roommates freaks at the sight of another guy with his shirt off ? You are supposed to be 'sensitive' and 'respect' his wishes, for a guy who has trouble with seeing you with a towel wrapped around your body after exiting a shower ? You are expected to keep quiet about a fabulous website that was originally written for ten year old boys trying to deal with the normal awakening of their sexuality / educating them about an utterly normal part of their lives ?

    With all due consideration and respect to you personally, your roommate is one of the saddest cases of stupidity I have ever heard about. YOU are normal HE is mentally ill.

    'Nuff said ?
     
  18. maxcok

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    Reading carefully through the OP I suspect he's not telling the whole story. There's more going on here.
     
  19. Tense0000

    Tense0000 Active Member

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    I concur.
     
  20. D_Doe_Ray_Mi

    D_Doe_Ray_Mi Account Disabled

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    I had a very prudish roommate in college too. I am au natural as much as possible. He protested by rolling his eyes and judging but tolerated my relaxed nudity, showering with bath door open, etc. On the other hand, his girl would come over and they'd go in his room and obviously have sex. His GF would tease him that he probably never has seen himself naked in a mirror. Mutual tolerance of differences is part of what college life teaches us.
     
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