Roommate and Nudity

[Chocolatestix]

Reading carefully through the OP I suspect he's not telling the whole story. There's more going on here.

I assure you that I'm telling the whole story and have not left anything out. I have never been completely naked around him or anything like that. The only other thing I can think worth mentioning is that when both of my roommates left for Thanksgiving I was home alone and was naked part of the time and I asked him like on Saturday or Sunday night after thanksgiving when he was coming home because I had been enjoying my freedom and I didn't want him to come home to any big surprises. Even then he said something like I want you fully clothed when I get back. Now I could have purposefully been naked and acted like I didn't know when he was coming home or something but I took his uncomfort into consideration.

I'm not being an ass here. I'm just trying to simply understand why someone would be that uncomfortable with just a half naked body. Now if I was walking around naked all the time I could see how I could be making someone a bit uncomfortable. But coming out the shower, with a towel around my waist makes him uncomfortable?!?!?!? Really?!?!?!?!?!

 

[NYBTM99]

It sounds like you are hitting on him and that is what is making him uncomfortable. Maybe he's interested or maybe he's not. I would back off and let him be.

 

[maxcok]

Reading carefully through the OP I suspect he's not telling the whole story. There's more going on here.

I assure you that I'm telling the whole story and have not left anything out. . . . Really?!?!?!?!?!

Riiiiiight. Yet there are a few pesky details that are puzzling me. Your profile states you are 100% straight, yet you are by your own admission very interested to see his dick and show him yours. Then there is the little business of wanting to jack him off to help him relax. (Can anyone spell denial for me?)

I think you've come here looking for justification. I suspect you've pushed the envelope well beyond what you've indicated. I'm not surprised he's a little nervous around you, I certainly would be.

 

[Florida Boy]

So I have two roommates. One of which is very uptight about nudity. We will call him roommate 1. The other is not completely comfortable with nudity but it doesn't really bother him all that much. We will call him roommate 2. And then there is me who doesn't really mind nor care and would rather not have clothes on. When we first started living together they use to think I was weird and crazy because I showered with the door open, more like cracked. But they eventually got over it. I also don't get dressed right away when I get out of the shower because I don't like clothes. I just like to sit around naked until I decide to put clothes on. So yesterday I'm getting out of the shower and I'm drying off like I always do and roommate 1 asks me a question and I was like hold on give me a second to dry off. Now when I come out the bathroom I have my bath towel around my waist. (Neither of my roommates have seen me naked.) So I come out of the bathroom and go to his room and ask what's up. And do you know what he does???? He looks at me covers his eyes and says can you please put some clothes, my room is clothes only. LOL!!!! I'm like are you serious?!?!? I kept asking what do you have to tell me and he was like I'll tell you when you get some clothes on. I was like okay, went to my room was on facebook, checking my email and a few minutes later he came to my room, my door was open but I still had my towel around my waist. And he freaked out again and was like you still don't have any clothes on. So to get him to shut up I put on my bathrobe and then we (roommate 2 was in the mix too but didn't say much) discussed what we needed to discuss.

Now, I think roommate 1 covering his eyes because I was half naked was a bit much. I've never had anyone cover their eyes when they saw this body half naked and if I were naked his eyes would be anything but closed :biggrin1:. But here is what I was thinking. I could be making light of a serious situtation. Maybe he doesn't like nudity because something happened to him like he was molested or something as a child and then I could see me being like okay I can cover up. But I'm leaning more on the side that it just makes him uncomfortable and if that's the case I'm not going to stop he needs to just get over it.

Now for my entertain I was thinking about asking him why he is like that bring up the conversation ask has he never been to a beach and seen half naked men, ever been swimming, etc. Then ask if he has ever seen a dude's dick before. My guess is he hasn't and I would offer to show him mine. Of course he is going to protest and I'm going to simply say when do you think someone is just going to offer to show your their dick where you don't have to sneak a look especially if you have a clothes only policy in your room?????? LOL!!! I will try to throw in I'll show you mine if you show me yours but if not I will just show him mine. What do you all think????

I have not seen him without clothes on and wonders how big or how small he is compared to me. And the thing is he is just so up tight in general that I think any sexual arouse would loosen him up. I've even thought to myself that I would jack him off just to loosen him up. LOL!!!! He has had girlfriends before so he claims but I'm unsure if he is still a virgin.

Interesting thread. How long have you been roommates? How old are you and your roommates? Your story about roommate number one seems superficial and fishy. If you had been roommates for more than a week in when the conversation, to which you refer, the place then it is totally unrealistic.

On the other hand weirdos on that order can exist. Coexist with him, as best you can. I'm not force your own nudity on him, except passively. As a joke, you might put a sign on your door, "Clothing Optional." It Would Be a Comment In the Opposite Direction which would balance things off. Even before your roommate number two person.

 

[Chocolatestix]

It sounds like you are hitting on him and that is what is making him uncomfortable. Maybe he's interested or maybe he's not. I would back off and let him be.

I'm definitely not hitting on him. If I were he would know and I don't think I would be having this discussion.

Riiiiiight. Yet there are a few pesky details that are puzzling me. Your profile states you are 100% straight, yet you are by your own admission very interested to see his dick and show him yours. Then there is the little business of wanting to jack him off to help him relax. (Can anyone spell denial for me?)

I think you've come here looking for justification. I suspect you've pushed the envelope well beyond what you've indicated. I'm not surprised he's a little nervous around you, I certainly would be.


Yes my status does say I'm 100% straight and that's because I am and I don't need justification from this site. My reference to jerking him off is a joke, I feel like he is so uptight and so sheltered that any sexual activity whether it came from a female or another dude would break him out of his sheltered shell. He even gets uncomfortable when others are discussing sexual activities and it's like if you just got you some you would understand.

As far as me wanting to compare with him that's something that I missed out on in my earlier years mainly because I didn't have too many guy friends and was not open as I am now. Since college I have learned a lot about myself and my identity and I have no problem admitting that I would like to see other guys dicks as a means of comparing. It's not a crime and I don't consider it gay, especially when growing up in a predominately female household these issues that I'm willing to discuss with male friends that I'm close with were never discussed with me.

 

[Chocolatestix]

Interesting thread. How long have you been roommates? How old are you and your roommates? Your story about roommate number one seems superficial and fishy. If you had been roommates for more than a week in when the conversation, to which you refer, the place then it is totally unrealistic.

On the other hand weirdos on that order can exist. Coexist with him, as best you can. I'm not force your own nudity on him, except passively. As a joke, you might put a sign on your door, "Clothing Optional." It Would Be a Comment In the Opposite Direction which would balance things off. Even before your roommate number two person.

We have been roommates since about the middle of August so going 5 months now. This issue aside we are really good friends and as with all my friends I like to get to know them on a much deeper level. So since I have noticed this about him I have been willing to step out on a limb and have these "awkward" conversations to try to find out why he is like that as maybe a better way to understanding him as a person. I seriously don't think I'm offending him by coming out of the bathroom with just a towel around my waist and if that's the case I need for him to express why he feels offended and it has to be something other than he is just uncomfortable. There are things I'm uncomfortable with but I deal with them until I felt the need to voice my feelings. I understand not everyone is like that but I don't think it's fair that I have to change when there is no reason or evidence to suggest that I'm offending other than he doesn't like it.

Oh and thanks for the advice! I may just do that! LOL! That would be really funny!

 

[maxcok]

Reading carefully through the OP I suspect he's not telling the whole story. There's more going on here.

I concur.

I assure you that I'm telling the whole story and have not left anything out. . . . Really?!?!?!?!?!

Riiiiiight. Yet there are a few pesky details that are puzzling me. Your profile states you are 100% straight, yet you are by your own admission very interested to see his dick and show him yours. Then there is the little business of wanting to jack him off to help him relax. (Can anyone spell denial for me?)

I think you've come here looking for justification. I suspect you've pushed the envelope well beyond what you've indicated. I'm not surprised he's a little nervous around you, I certainly would be.

I'm definitely not hitting on him. If I were he would know and I don't think I would be having this discussion.

Yes my status does say I'm 100% straight and that's because I am and I don't need justification from this site. My reference to jerking him off is a joke, I feel like he is so uptight and so sheltered that any sexual activity whether it came from a female or another dude would break him out of his sheltered shell. He even gets uncomfortable when others are discussing sexual activities and it's like if you just got you some you would understand.

As far as me wanting to compare with him that's something that I missed out on in my earlier years mainly because I didn't have too many guy friends and was not open as I am now. Since college I have learned a lot about myself and my identity and I have no problem admitting that I would like to see other guys dicks as a means of comparing. It's not a crime and I don't consider it gay, especially when growing up in a predominately female household these issues that I'm willing to discuss with male friends that I'm close with were never discussed with me.

Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much. I stand by my prior observation. Now even more.

Dude, you obviously want to play with him. He obviously doesn't. Respect him and BACK OFF!!!

 

[sexplease]

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

 

[D_Mevagissey Kidneystone]

have frespect for your room mates, put some clothes on. want to walk around naked, live by yourself

 

[Chocolatestix]

For those of you telling me that I need to respect my roommates consider this: While I do acknowledge that I am more comfortable with my body than most, in our (American) Society the "respectable" norm is to be modest when it comes to sexuality, but I do not think I should be disrespected because I have a comfort level outside of the norm. I do not think the solution for me to just simply come out of the bathroom fully clothed after a shower (and that is the issues that was discussed) is an adequate solution because he is not respecting my values and my upbringing yet I am expected to respect his willingness to follow the "norm". Respect is something that must be negotiated we can find some middle ground where we can both respect each other where he is not offended and I don't have to completely change the way I come out of the bathroom.

 

[Smartalk]

Having followed this post and read your latest reply, i'm coming to the conclusion that may your more of the problem than your flat mate.

 

[maxcok]

Having followed this post and read your latest reply, i'm coming to the conclusion that may your more of the problem than your flat mate.

Word.

 

[maxcok]

For those of you telling me that I need to respect my roommates consider this: . . . I do not think I should be disrespected because I have a comfort level outside of the norm. I do not think the solution for me to just simply come out of the bathroom fully clothed after a shower (and that is the issues that was discussed) . . . he is not respecting my values . . . Respect is something that must be negotiated we can find some middle ground where we can both respect each other where he is not offended and I don't have to completely change the way I come out of the bathroom.

No, that is not 'the issue that was discussed'. By your own scenario, what he objected to was you going into his room, his private space in a towel. Personally, I would have no problem with that, unless you were particularly unappealing, or had something going on under that towel that I didn't want to be confronted with. No one has suggested you need to come out of the shower fully clothed, that's a ridiculous exaggeration and diversion in your argument for self-justification.

This is about mutual respect, which includes you respecting his comfort level and respecting his space, both shared and private. It may seem prudish to you, and if you're telling the truth, prudish to me. But I submit again, I don't think you're telling the whole story, not by a long shot.

The 'middle ground' as you say, is this: You do not push the envelope. You do not push his buttons. You do not confront him with your nakedness or half nakedness. You do not try to shake, change, analyze or ridicule his comfort level, which although different than yours or mine, is not that unusual or unreasonable, certainly not to him. It is none of your concern, and he has made his position clear. You simply come out of the shower in your towel, go into your private space where you can do whatever the hell you want. Lay around naked, fantasize about him while you jack off, whatever - but show some damn respect or go live somewhere else.

Dude, you are obsessing, and the more you tap dance and try to justify your position, the more desperate, weak and transparent your arguments become. I continue to stand by my previous observation, and the more convinced I am there is more, a lot more, going on than you have shared.

MUTUAL R - E - S - P - E - C - T

​

 

[blkbro510]

Dude I feel you. It's a sad culture we live in when folks think that when you take off your clothes you want to have sex with them. I had a friend stay over and I did all that respectable shit and he walked in on me and I had no problem but he told me to wrap myself in towel and I'm like one my house, and secondly you walked in MY ROOM without knocking. Folks need to get over it, turn your face, close your eyes and move out to your own space.

Wait til you get your own space, you'd never have to go through that shit again.

 

[coachreffn]

I, too, have followed this thread and the OP definitely is not able to hear at this time that there is more to this than merely two roommates with different degrees of modesty. There is a sexual thread underneath this. Yes, there is nothing wrong with coming out the bathroom wearing a towel but perhaps it is with a certain attitude that comes with it. The roommate is picking up on a sexuality that is unwelcome to him. Both should find other roommates. I don't think that there is anything wrong with the roommate at all....especially after this guy wants to jack him off, compare dick size, show him a website about jacking off...all of which is unsolicited. Perhaps it is the way you wear that towel and how you are responding to your roommate that is making him uncomfortable and not a naked chest or even a nude body.

 

[deleted69654]

that is really weird he covered his eyes and asked you to put on clothes. kinda rude

 

[helgaleena]

There is such a thing as discussing this between friends, and such a discussion would use phrases like, we need to clarify the rules around here about what we do in our own rooms and in the common spaces.

But asking why are you like that, man? is too personal. You all may be friends but that does not mean you have the right to psychoanalyze each other and judge each other's ethical standards.

That being said, once you have the 'Clothing Optional' sign on your door, I think you should avoid wearing anything at all in your own private space, and let the others get used to this. And definitely respect the sensibilities of the other roomies when in their own rooms also, including their dress codes. Ask them what they want you to wear next time you are in their rooms, straight up. Don't mix anything personal or judgmental into it.

 

[D_Woody_Bush]

Interesting thread and interesting opinions. I've lived in a number of different flatshares over the years and this simply had never been an issue: everybody kept a minimum of modesty in the communal areas (as in 'towel around the waist'), what everybody got up to in their room was their business (so we did knock on each other's doors first and did not enter without permission) and that was that.

I do agree though that your flatmate's reaction is a tad extreme and wonder whether he has either been brought up quite strict or whether he may be gay and is still struggling with this (just a guess!). Or he could have some issue with his own body (he may see it as out of shape or have a skin condition or whatever) and feels that he is expected to be semi-naked in the flat, too, and he is not comfortable with that (all speculation so far).

As long as he is not willing to discuss this with you, just let him be. Do your own thing, do keep a minimum of modesty in the communal areas and that's it. If/when he wants to talk about this further, great. He may simply come to accept over time that you are just more comfortable with less clothes on and that that is ok.

 

[tiger_oakley]

u need ur own space if u wannna be without clothes
i had roommates with ur same issues-------i moved out to my OWN space !!!! i think roommates who walk around wit no clothes are probably trying to entice o seduce-----it's wack to me!

 

[B_dxjnorto]

I had a roommate in the Army who was always nude in our shared accommodation. We moved the wall lockers so we kind of had privacy, but the space was too small to avoid each others' nudity. It was completely non-sexual. And I felt free to be nude as well. But I agree if I had been attracted to him, it could have been sexualized. He'd come talk to me scratching his balls, cock a flopping.

Had a friend whose mom was like a maiden aunt. The only time she got a dick may have been when he was conceived. He was similar to your roommate 1. Developmental years are critical because that is when we are most susceptible to input. I suspect he was raised in a home where all nudity was forbidden as irreligious, sexual, or worse.

Sometimes this type of programming backfires, as in the case of the preacher's daughter, but sometimes it sticks. And some guys your age never use school showers nor other non-sexual nude venues like swimming pool locker rooms and such.