I cannot miss the opportunity to join in with all the other members, in congratulating you on an excellent well writen story. It is plainly obvious to everyone who has read your story, that you are a very talented writer indeed.
I for one think you should consider writing more stories and seek to get them published. The suggestion to post your story on Nifty is an excellent idea in as much as you will get more positive feed back and maybe some constructive criticism, which can only give you the confidence to write more.
I for one would nominate you for the LPSG Golden Quil award if there was such a thing, and I am sure the would be no shortage of anyone wanting to second that nomination.
Very well done, and thank you for sharing your story. You have brought a great deal of pleasure into many peoples lives. There can be no greater gift than that, again well done.
Sincere Regards
Smartalk