Hockeytiger
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After talking with my brother a bit last night he told me he thinks that the amount of porn we were exposed to at a young age helped form the type of lovers we are. My father had a ton of it. Not that that is an excuse. I guess it does explain why I always want to go full throttle for a long time. The times when people passed out drugs/drinking was involved except for a few times in high school when I was too inexperienced.
I sometimes forget that my father would be so drunk that he would have sex withsomeone with the door open. I was 10 or 11 and remember hearing the sounds and sometimes taking a peak with my brothers. I guess that all comes into play.
I'm not expressing a fetish exactly. I just didn't know if other people truly enjoyed rough sex like I do.
Thanks everyone for listening.
Jake
Ignoring consent issues, there are, of course, quite a few people who enjoy giving and receiving such types of sex. I'm not really one of them. The sex you described is focused more on one's own pleasure. That's where I'm not fond of it. If I just want to focus on my pleasure, I'll just masturbate. When I have sex, it is about the two of us. That certainly doesn't mean that rough sex can't be enjoyable for both parties, but as you described it, you seem to focus only on your needs. If I may make a leap here, I suggest that you lack empathy for your partners. The fact that your brother, and perhaps your father as well, feel the same way indicates that this is probably not an issue of porn as much as your upbringing. My guess (and I will emphasize that it is merely a guess) is that the lack of empathy is due to abuse. Another guess is that you have difficulty expressing your emotions (even more than the average man) and perhaps suffered problems with substance abuse (probably alcohol), which results in occasional random sexual encounters that you usually regret afterwards. Of course, I could be way off, but my guess is that there is a good deal of truth in what I said.
I don't bring this all up to scold you in any way. Just think on it. Self analyze yourself. Are you happy being this way? If you are, so be it, it is your life. If not, take control of your life.
Being an athlete has nothing to do with your feelings. There aren't many sports that involve as much physical brutality and physical domination as hockey (though there are a few) and I can't say your feelings were ever very prevalent among my teammates.
Best of luck to you. Empathy is a critcal part of sex, even rough, dominating sex. You are missing out.