Rudeness in threads

[Lex]

Naughty-- you and marley make some very good points. The larger point being missed is how unnatural complete agreement among a diverse group is. It really does not and should not occur amongst mature, thinking individuals.

No one should make fun of abuse and personal trauma. I am not excusing that. What I am also not excusing is the fact that some people seem unable to deal with anything that happens contrary to their own worldview.

Have I been called names? yes. Have I been insulted? yes. Have I given my fair share over the years in the midst of heated debate? Sure I have. And so have most on this board.

The best way to get someone to reconsider their manner of communication is the make a counterpoint that clearly notes what and why you disagree with what they have said. I have had more than a few make these points to me, which has changed my interaction with two members that I can think of: marley and mem. Whining about mistreatment in generalities does not even allow specific people to consider a different path. It just makes someone look like a cry-baby or a hypocrite.

If we agree on everything 100% of the time, one of us is inherently unnecessary. Group think is bad. Homogeniety is boring.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Homogeniety is boring.

Homosexuality is boring, you are RIGHT!

 

[DC_DEEP]

Oh yeah, Lex? Well, you are just a poopy-head.

 

[Lex]

Homosexuality is boring, you are RIGHT!

Anything, but, gorgeous.

Oh yeah, Lex? Well, you are just a poopy-head.

^^^ post reported.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I'd much rather people be genuine and passionate and deal with the fallout than have people be nice above all else. Fuck nice.

The people who "speak their minds" don't always do it in an adult fashion. To the contrary, there's often childish namecalling and strongly worded personal insults involved. There are many members here who stand by their words and speak without filter and still don't ever find a need to insult or demean.

I'd split the difference.
I agree with WOB that we want open, untrammeled discussion of things. Frankness and passion and directness are virtues every bit as much as kindness.
But I'd also agree with Marley that some people are unnecessarily cruel, and not in a way that advances discussion at all. They seem sadistically self-indulgent.
This isn't an either/or question.
We can be completely open with our opinions without seeming to make the doing of injury a kind of hobby.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Anything, but, gorgeous.



^^^ post reported.

Whoops, i typoed that...i meant Heterosexuality is boring! It sounded funnier in my head, but it totally came out backwards.

Here i am telling the hottest gay man on lpsg that homosexuality is boring? Next to your life, heterosexuals are boring.

Forgive my botching that one up!

 

[B_dumbcow]

That's simply your opinion and is no more valid than anyone else's. Actually, it's less valid than anyone who has spent a marked amount of time on this site. You simply don't know the culture here very well-- though admittedly, I don't seem to either anymore.

I may be wrong, but I have seen some unnecessary ganging up of some members. And it is not nice.

Which is exactly why I find you to be so goddamned irritating. You've boxed yourself into being a perpetual asskisser with no hope of having any opinion or strong personality trait for fear of offending someone. Therefore everything you post is insipid and vapid, or incredibly saccharine.

Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I'd much rather people be genuine and passionate and deal with the fallout than have people be nice above all else. Fuck nice.

For your information, if I see something I don't agree with, I will argue against it. There is a thread which keeps popping up about fondling people when they are asleep. I didn't choose to have "no opinion" and I wasn't afraid to "offend anyone" because I saw the act as criminal and so will argue against it.

Just because I do not diss those who don't deserve it does not make me an asskisser. I'm very open-minded to everyone's opinions and do always take these criticisms on board. It's almost like you think I should have a full heated argument with anyone who says something I don't agree with, rather than trying to reach an agreement like adults. In which case, I should be telling you to fuck off and thus offending you even more.

Whatever. I can't win.

 

[Lex]

Whoops, i typoed that...i meant Heterosexuality is boring! It sounded funnier in my head, but it totally came out backwards.

Here i am telling the hottest gay man on lpsg that homosexuality is boring? Next to your life, heterosexuals are boring.

Forgive my botching that one up!

HaHa. I thought that post was odd and was going to make a redhead-blonde joke, but thought better of it.

It's all good, Red.

 

[Mem]

I feel sorry for you if this your viewpoint. I met up with a group of members from here a short while back and everyone was very nice, no one was dishonest or weak.

If Dumbcow bothers you, I can think of only a few possible reasons. He either got into an argument with you while trying to protect one of his friends here; or you have been jaded by life and you take things way too seriously. He is the sweetest, nicest member here. He is not dishonest, weak or fake.

 

[ZOS23xy]

I used to disagree with Marleyisalegend when he started posting here, only because, well, he was pointed, often angry sounding and sometimes a little chaotic.

I like it that he's trying and he understands the issues.

He's correct in that censoring is an awkward way to deal with issues, but these sorts of things should be done by the writer of the post, understanding what is being said and aware of the consequences to come should he/she be making statements that are lies, unfriendly, half truths and go against what was previously said by the poster. People should be consistent. This goes with presentation, writing, photos, persona...

Not, as herein, making statements that scratch deeply and saying "I was sleepy."

 

[WifeOfBath]

I'd split the difference.
I agree with WOB that we want open, untrammeled discussion of things. Frankness and passion and directness are virtues every bit as much as kindness.
But I'd also agree with Marley that some people are unnecessarily cruel, and not in a way that advances discussion at all. They seem sadistically self-indulgent.
This isn't an either/or question.
We can be completely open with our opinions without seeming to make the doing of injury a kind of hobby.

I agree with this, rubi, to an extent. There are people who are simply venomous. There are generally good people who lapse into being venomous from time to time. I think the disctinction between what is uselessly hateful and what is passionate is whether something advances discussion or not. I know, for example, that it's not very nice of me to find dumbcow's persona on LPSG irritating. But for the sake of discussion as it adds to the thread and to dumbcow's assertions within this thread, it's a valid point. In no way do I expect dumbcow to change or even give a shit about what I think, not do I think my opinion is worth any more than anyone else's except that it's mine. I'm sure there are plenty of people here who find me distasteful-- or self-righteous, as it were. To tell me so isn't mean, and is completely within someone's rights, as is my opinion that they are morons. Such is life.

I may be wrong, but I have seen some unnecessary ganging up of some members. And it is not nice.

When you see it happening, stand up for it then. The generalities just seem like whingeing.

Just because I do not diss those who don't deserve it does not make me an asskisser. I'm very open-minded to everyone's opinions and do always take these criticisms on board. It's almost like you think I should have a full heated argument with anyone who says something I don't agree with, rather than trying to reach an agreement like adults. In which case, I should be telling you to fuck off and thus offending you even more.

I'd rather you tell me to fuck off rather than to do it backhandedly so as you did above. There's no denying that you're an asskisser-- and a lot of people love you for it. You are well-loved on this board especially for the short time you've been here precisely because you purposefully stroke people's egos. You undermine yourself by the amount of whingeing you do about how you or others are mistreated because the majority sides with you and likes you very much.

Whatever. I can't win.

Nope. You never will. So do what you do and fuck 'em if they don't get it.

I feel sorry for you if this your viewpoint. I met up with a group of members from here a short while back and everyone was very nice, no one was dishonest or weak.

There's a difference between "nice" and being truly kind and genuine. The former I have no interest in, the latter I aspire to. "Nice" is artificial because it puts making other people happy and being liked in front of all other concerns. "Nice" puts a premium on artificial interactions at the cost of integrity because being truthful might just hurt someone's feelings or make them feel badly toward you, which isn't acceptable. That's what I mean by nice.

If Dumbcow bothers you, I can think of only a few possible reasons. He either got into an argument with you while trying to protect one of his friends here; or you have been jaded by life and you take things way too seriously. He is the sweetest, nicest member here. He is not dishonest, weak or fake.

Don't tell me what my motivations are. You have rarely interacted with me on this board, and nowhere near enough to know why I am the way I am. You can't even begin to fathom who I am and what I'm about based on what you've read on LPSG. So don't go there.

 

[HazelGod]

Oh yeah, Lex? Well, you are just a poopy-head.

^^^ post reported.

:lmao:

 

[joybunny]

I think Dumbcow is "udderly" terrific and if I'm kissing ass, at least I know it's one that can make great fertilizer!

 

[marleyisalegend]

I'm all for free-speech, and TRULY respect people who speak their minds because I was raised by a family that kept quiet on pressing issues and swept everything under the rug. That's possibly why I'm so insistant upon free speech, but if that's done without consideration or moderation, no one should complain when we start seeing "Why I hate Jews" threads or "The 3 things women are good for threads." Again, I'm all for speaking your mind but 9 times out of 10, speaking your mind is overrated and done by embittered people who like to belittle everyone else (except their friends) to support their own self-righteousness.

As far as the whiners, I do think it takes some time to catch the flow of LPSG. When I first came on here, I misunderstood some people who disagreed with me because of how poignant their responses would be. It took me an embarassing amount of time to realize that other people can be as passionate about their convictions as I am. I sorta regret some of the people I've turned off because it seems I'm missing out on some light-hearted banter that I'd enjoy to be a part of, but after a week of posting I thought I had the whole site figured out and came out guns blazing.

Depending on the tone of the disagreement, sometimes its simply a case of someone not being used to being opposed so people having different opinions is spun as "attacks" and "being mean." Even a strongly worded disagreement may only hold potency because the responder knows what they're talking about more than you do. Someone who's never been to college will certainly be put in their place on a discussion about psychology or physics. The person responding knowing more than them makes them feel belittled and embarassed, so a foul is called.

Equal parts growing up and toning it down. I say we all get naked and jump in the pool!!!

 

[ZOS23xy]

You're doing fine. Keep going to see where you get to. ^^^^

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

:lmao:

That was a Monstrosity!

 

[vince]

I'd split the difference.
I agree with WOB that we want open, untrammeled discussion of things. Frankness and passion and directness are virtues every bit as much as kindness.
But I'd also agree with Marley that some people are unnecessarily cruel, and not in a way that advances discussion at all. They seem sadistically self-indulgent.
This isn't an either/or question.
We can be completely open with our opinions without seeming to make the doing of injury a kind of hobby.

You beat me to it rubirosa. I agree that while we should have frank and open discussions, it need not be a bloodsport. The in-your-face type of interaction, however cleverly expressed, gets just as tedious as the saccharine sweet, let's lick each other's ass, aren't we all wonderful type.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I feel sorry for you if this your viewpoint. I met up with a group of members from here a short while back and everyone was very nice, no one was dishonest or weak.

If Dumbcow bothers you, I can think of only a few possible reasons. He either got into an argument with you while trying to protect one of his friends here; or you have been jaded by life and you take things way too seriously. He is the sweetest, nicest member here. He is not dishonest, weak or fake.

We Hard Asses don't Kiss Ass.

 

[marleyisalegend]

I think what would REALLY help is some sort of trial period where you can view the posts but not post until after a certain period. That way, people can get a feel for the site and by their first post they know exactly what they're getting into. Then people like Jason and I won't come onto the site pushing our beliefs onto a system thats already been running for x amount of years.

 

[lucky8]

What do you expect with a site full of testosterone?