Rudeness in threads

ZOS23xy

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I spent time reading before posting and got a feel of some of the people. I'd done this before on an AOL board. Since I write a lot, there was an odd feeling from some of the regulars that I was a reporter (or something) doing a story on the on line community.

Often what crawls out of some of the younger posters is a desire to be the center of attention ala Don Rickles. The immaturity of these posters is contrasted greatly by the restraint of others who are prodded picked on and vilified.
 

Mem

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I think what would REALLY help is some sort of trial period where you can view the posts but not post until after a certain period. That way, people can get a feel for the site and by their first post they know exactly what they're getting into. Then people like Jason and I won't come onto the site pushing our beliefs onto a system thats already been running for x amount of years.

There was a site that I belonged to where you come in as a Jr. member. You can not starts threads and can only post once every 1/2 hour for the first 30 days. Also If you do not post 30 replies in 30 days you can not continue to be a member.
 

Lex

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There's a difference between "nice" and being truly kind and genuine. The former I have no interest in, the latter I aspire to. "Nice" is artificial because it puts making other people happy and being liked in front of all other concerns. "Nice" puts a premium on artificial interactions at the cost of integrity because being truthful might just hurt someone's feelings or make them feel badly toward you, which isn't acceptable. That's what I mean by nice.

...
I concur.

I spent time reading before posting and got a feel of some of the people. I'd done this before on an AOL board. ...

I would say that most people who truly enjoy their time on online fora and build solid posting or real relationships have done this. I lurked here ForEVER before I posted and my first thread was a question. Over time, as I learned the dynamics and felt more comfortable, I posted more and more. During all this time, I have challenged and been challenged by people whom I respect (and I few I don't care for) on issues upon which we disagree. I am thankful for those instances as they have really, over time, encouraged me to continue to challenge my conventions and not get too set in my thinking.
 

marleyisalegend

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There was a site that I belonged to where you come in as a Jr. member. You can not starts threads and can only post once every 1/2 hour for the first 30 days. Also If you do not post 30 replies in 30 days you can not continue to be a member.

That sounds like a really good idea. LPSG was my first ever forum-site. Until this I used the net for porn and talking to high-school friends. This may be the first forum site for many others and letting them log on and immediately start posting is like giving a driver's liscence to a twelve year old. They don't understand what they're doing and the only observations they'll make are ones that support their own ideas.
 

onelastdance07

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when someone says something mean about another person its because they have problems with themselves. Yes not everyone is going to agree with everyone on all opinions but i do believe that the way we say things should be a little more proper. There are easier ways to express how we feel without cutting throats.
 

Mem

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As members who have been here a while we need to realize that new members will come in and make mistakes.

When I first joined I felt I was harassed and left for a year. I came back a year later and felt harassed again but decided to work my way through. I made my own mistakes and took the criticism as a personal insult.

I don't begrudge new members who come here to have fun and do not understand that some long time members may expect automatic respect.
 

B_dumbcow

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I think Dumbcow is "udderly" terrific and if I'm kissing ass, at least I know it's one that can make great fertilizer!

:kiss: Thanks! You can use my fertilizer any time :cool:

If Dumbcow bothers you, I can think of only a few possible reasons. He either got into an argument with you while trying to protect one of his friends here; or you have been jaded by life and you take things way too seriously. He is the sweetest, nicest member here. He is not dishonest, weak or fake.

:hug: It must be the latter, bacause we never had contact before her first negative mention of me. (as far as I can remember)

I agree with this, rubi, to an extent. There are people who are simply venomous. There are generally good people who lapse into being venomous from time to time. I think the disctinction between what is uselessly hateful and what is passionate is whether something advances discussion or not. I know, for example, that it's not very nice of me to find dumbcow's persona on LPSG irritating. But for the sake of discussion as it adds to the thread and to dumbcow's assertions within this thread, it's a valid point. In no way do I expect dumbcow to change or even give a shit about what I think, not do I think my opinion is worth any more than anyone else's except that it's mine. I'm sure there are plenty of people here who find me distasteful-- or self-righteous, as it were. To tell me so isn't mean, and is completely within someone's rights, as is my opinion that they are morons. Such is life.

I don't actually think you are venomous and I don't think lowly of you. No matter what you may have said, I still respect you so I do care and do want to listen and take on board everything you say, and I hope that feeling is mutual.

When you see it happening, stand up for it then. The generalities just seem like whingeing.

I do. When I see something I disagree with, I do stand up for it.

I'd rather you tell me to fuck off rather than to do it backhandedly so as you did above. There's no denying that you're an asskisser-- and a lot of people love you for it. You are well-loved on this board especially for the short time you've been here precisely because you purposefully stroke people's egos. You undermine yourself by the amount of whingeing you do about how you or others are mistreated because the majority sides with you and likes you very much.

I don't agree with the use of curses and foul language, which is why I will never tell you to fuck off. It would just result in negativity. And I like being kind, which is why I do it. I'm nice on LPSG, as I am nice outside LPSG.

Nope. You never will. So do what you do and fuck 'em if they don't get it.

:rolleyes: No comment.

You can't even begin to fathom who I am and what I'm about based on what you've read on LPSG. So don't go there.

I would like the same thing to go for me. There are reasons why I am who I am. I'm not false, I'm not insipid and you just have to deal with the candy floss.

So, I propose we draw a line under this and appreciate that we are two very different individuals, who have been moulded by our presumably very different experiences. I'm not going to change, you aren't going to change and goodness knows nobody else is going to change.

End of discussion.
 

Bbucko

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I don't begrudge new members who come here to have fun and do not understand that some long time members may expect automatic respect.

Actually, it's called due deference, and it's not out of line to expect such treatment.

There's a difference between "nice" and being truly kind and genuine. The former I have no interest in, the latter I aspire to. "Nice" is artificial because it puts making other people happy and being liked in front of all other concerns. "Nice" puts a premium on artificial interactions at the cost of integrity because being truthful might just hurt someone's feelings or make them feel badly toward you, which isn't acceptable. That's what I mean by nice.

I've always said that "nice" is the lowest common denominator possible among compliments. If all someone could ever say about me is that I'm nice, then they have no idea who I am. Because whatever else I may be, I'm not "nice".
 

lucky8

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Dumbcow...forget the people hating on you and your hilarious persona here...at least you have't changed your username 3 or 4 times since you've been here...like someone...You really are one of the kindest, most non-confrontational people i've seen here. Screw the beef eaters.
 

marleyisalegend

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I've always said that "nice" is the lowest common denominator possible among compliments. If all someone could ever say about me is that I'm nice, then they have no idea who I am. Because whatever else I may be, I'm not "nice".

WTF?!?!? BBucko, you're the world's greatest cuddly teddy bear and I wouldn't trade you for all the Jack Daniels in the world!!
 

Mem

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And I like being kind, which is why I do it. I'm nice on LPSG, as I am nice outside LPSG.

You are very nice, and nice is not a bad word. While some are free to interpret the word nice with a different meaning, I prefer not to.
 

Mem

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I'm not "nice".

Maybe you are not as nice as some people think. Some people have a hard on for that word.

NICE:

Synonyms: enjoyable, agreeable, pleasant, good, fine, lovely, amusing, wonderful

Antonym: unpleasant


Synonyms: polite, considerate, friendly, courteous, charming, kind, sympathetic, warm-hearted, cordial

Antonym: nasty
 
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B_dumbcow

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Dumbcow...forget the people hating on you and your hilarious persona here...at least you have't changed your username 3 or 4 times since you've been here...like someone...You really are one of the kindest, most non-confrontational people i've seen here. Screw the beef eaters.

:kiss: Thanks lucky! They don't like me because of who I am... which is fine, because I know people like you like me, and that means more to me :smile:

You are very nice, and nice is not a bad word. While some are free to interpret the word nice with a different meaning, I prefer not to.

:kiss: I suppose there are good and bad points to every personality trait. And I'm sure any member on here could be nit-picked at and have their bad points exploited... unfortunately, those who deserve it the most (not referring to WOB, just for the record) are too argumentative to be called out.
 

Bbucko

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WTF?!?!? BBucko, you're the world's greatest cuddly teddy bear and I wouldn't trade you for all the Jack Daniels in the world!!

I gotta introduce you to Bbucko.:cool:

Please do!! His piceths haft made mine loins slightlyeth hungered for thine manhood!:biggrin1:

I'm actually not hairy nor massy enough to qualify as a Teddy Bear. I'm lean and (occasionally quite) mean, or as I corrected someone who called me "mean": stern.

You and I have had PM exchanges that were quite strict and stern, but always respectful, open and listening, not shutting off. It's called adult dialog and it works. And don't think I haven't noticed the vast improvement in your posts, missy...I have :rolleyes:

Maybe you are not as nice as some people think. Some people have a hard on for that word.

"Nice" is the bubble-gum pink of words: innocuous in small doses but nauseating when surrounded by it.

If I am trying to compliment someone, I'll pull a word or two (or twenty) out of my vocabulary and use it.
 

B_Hung Jon

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I enjoyed LPSG a lot more when I first discovered the site, and also took part more in the discussions. But over time I noticed that certain people didn't like me or my responses, and would trash me in various ways, some subtle and others pretty blatant. For me it had to do with my own interest in bisexuality and my comments about it. I think I was perceived as too interested in more "serious" topics. So since then I've pulled back some and now just take part in discussions that pertain to my life. But I like the humor section so I always make stupid comments there.