I plan on attending a male bonding party next week. Being a relative newbie and married how do I go about requiring safe sex without offending someone? I am sure there will be mutual J/O,oral and anal at the party And I would like to participate orally and anally ( giving/receiving ) if the opportunity arises. Also in the event of anal who is responsible for lubing and relaxing the receivers butt hole before penetration? There will be married,single straight, bi and gay in attendance no females. I would like to require condom usage for oral and anal. Any help? Also I plan on wearing my wedding ring any thoughts on that?
Safe sex
- Thread starter merc41
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Hockeytiger
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I have zero experience with that scene so I can't give you any real advice. I wonder if the gay section might get more responses (only in that I suspect more folks check that forum). In the end, you have an absolute right to do what you want and not do what you don't want. I'd hope that whoever is throwing the party would provide some guidelines, which would include things like condom usage, though I suspect that might get a little harder for oral. Condoms with anal should be a must, and if it isn't, I wouldn't touch anyone even if they were dipped in a pool of disinfectant, but I'm pretty risk adverse. You should simply ask about the lube for topping. Shows you are considerate. If bottoming do what you prefer, it's your ass. As for the wedding ring. I'd probably keep it on. I doubt anyone there is going to see it as a major turn off. If commitment based sex was a major thing for them, they wouldn't be there. There may even be a few who see it as a turn on, who knows? If it comes up, I'd avoid restraints, and be careful with alcohol and drugs. Best of luck. Enjoy yourself. Stay safe.
NautiRogue
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Does your wife know you're attending this party? My wife and I are both bi. We play with others together (we have a girl coming over tonight to join us), she plays with guys and couples without me, and she knows that I go to the local men's bathhouse to jack off on a regular basis. We never take our wedding rings off because what we're doing is a basic part of our who we are as a couple. Our marriage includes these experiences. We're a non-monogamous married bi couple.
If your wife knows you're going, I think you should wear it. If she doesn't, then it just doesn't matter.
If your wife knows you're going, I think you should wear it. If she doesn't, then it just doesn't matter.
I am getting the feeling that oral with a condom is frowned upon. Being relativly new and married I just want to be careful.
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it is. So is bringing home a disease.
Your body, your health. A guy who insists in self preservation is sexy. A guy who can be bullied into doing "my" pleasure at his own risk is no more than a toy to be discarded. Respect yourself if you wish to be respected.
Bring some 'thin', 'more feeling', or flavored condoms with you. You really don't want to be with the guy who refuses. You can certainly bring a guy to climax orally through a condom. Save the condom-free blow jobs for someone you actually know.
Respect yourself man, and fill those condoms!
Normally when someone is hosting a party like this, they make sure there are plenty of condoms and lube available. Sometimes also STD-tests and poppers (depends on the scene). Nevertheless always bring your own condoms to be sure. Make putting on the condom part of your play, touch when invited and never be pressured into anything. Have a great time!
How’d the party go? Did you wear your ring?
Avoiding drugs & alcohol and the bad decisions that come with them is important if you’re concerned about STDs. I have a friend who is an infectious disease doc so he spends lots of time with patients who were thinking with their dicks.
Not to scare you. But these are the rules I practice. Whether it's a mixed swinger's party or a same sex fuck party. Be sano clean. Inside and out. Bring a backpack to put all of your clothes in once you strip naked. Put a lock on it. Does two things: keeps your stuff in one place, and to deter someone else from rifling through your shit. Keep it in sight. If you go to another room, take it with you. If you gotta leave quickly for any reason, you can grab that backpack right now. You're only gonna be naked outside for only a few minutes. You got your clothes and car keys with you. Never bottom in doggy or on your stomach. The top may slide off the condom covertly without your knowledge and slide his dick up in you bareback without your permission. Even if you feel the difference and stop him after he inserts his dick it will be too late. You can be already infected. Heard of stuff like this happening. Trust no one. Up top cowboy style or missionary if your gonna bottom.
Stay Sober. Only drink from a can or bottle that was sealed beforehand. Stay out of the punchbowl if they have one. Do not brush your teeth right before going to the party. Sometimes, you can scratch your gums enough to cause a microscopic tear or your gums may bleed. (port of entry for a disease) Mouthwash only. No rimming, no bare blowjobs. Lip kissing with no tongue. No swallowing of anyone's cum. Check your hands for any cuts or scratches before going (port of entry). Nails trimmed and smoothened. Not everyone there has safer sex practices or will want to practice safer sex. There could be a bug spreader in attendance as well. Don't hesitate to say "No" or "Stop" if you're not comfortable with what's going on. Sadly the type of world we live in. Precautions I take and I still have fun. Be safe, If not for yourself, do it for your wife.
Stay Sober. Only drink from a can or bottle that was sealed beforehand. Stay out of the punchbowl if they have one. Do not brush your teeth right before going to the party. Sometimes, you can scratch your gums enough to cause a microscopic tear or your gums may bleed. (port of entry for a disease) Mouthwash only. No rimming, no bare blowjobs. Lip kissing with no tongue. No swallowing of anyone's cum. Check your hands for any cuts or scratches before going (port of entry). Nails trimmed and smoothened. Not everyone there has safer sex practices or will want to practice safer sex. There could be a bug spreader in attendance as well. Don't hesitate to say "No" or "Stop" if you're not comfortable with what's going on. Sadly the type of world we live in. Precautions I take and I still have fun. Be safe, If not for yourself, do it for your wife.
It’s refreshing to hear someone who is both cautious and adventuresome. There is surprising disdain for sane caution. I commented in another post that my gf (now wife) and I got tested together before having unprotected sex. The clinic nurse thought it was wonderful and wished more couples came together. It wasn’t easy to wait - we clicked when we met and were crazy horny for each other but it was an issue of respect. It set a great tone for our marriage.
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I haven't read any other posts except this one, so far......for I was incredulous and was
stopped in my tracks by the above...
Plus..........
You are worried about requiring safe sex "without offending others".....That's easy........
YOU DEMAND IT....OR YOU DON'T PLAY! It's just that Simple!
Plus..........
"Who is responsible for lubing and relaxing the butt hole"...???? Are you not worried
more about something more important...likey your health and that of your wife/and/or partners?????????
Plus...........
YOU are responsibe for making sure you and all others use condoms..
In all things, know that you...yes, YOU are responsible.
Don't EVER rely on Others
...or If you get involved in this type of activity...please get tested often...and follow the
instructins of how and when to be tested.
I am not saying it is wrong, for I have enjoyed group sex too.
BTW....if you remove your ring, it will probabley give you aways anyway...either a patch
of lighter skin....or an indention...
deine_huendin
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don't worry about "frowned upon" - i get my throat fucked always and every time with condoms...and the most times also with thick lube to shove the pole comfortably down the sleeve
deine_huendin
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I've been to several suck & fuck parties and we demanded the use of condoms. Unless you want a surprise STD or a lifetime of expensive medical care for HIV insist on condoms for sucking & fucking. I am a married male and can never take home the gift that keeps on giving. It would cause a divorce.
