I love the salt and pepper look on a guy. I think it's striking. But I might be a bit above the age group you're looking to attract.
And, if you feel uncomfortable with your looks, there's nothing un-masculine about dying your hair. At least from my point of view....I don't know how other women see it or how other men think, but for me, it's a personal preference, and more than that, it's your body.
I also like chest hair on a guy. Like is a mild word. lol. It drives me slightly nuts -- can't keep my hands off, want to rub all over it, kind of thing. *shrug* It sounds like you just have to find someone who is into YOU, not into what your hair looks like, or if you have chest hair or not....
just my two cents. (and I didn't read through all the posts...lol! So....you might have already heard all this!) :smile: