Same-generation attraction: normal?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Harvey Schmeckel, Feb 21, 2010.

  1. D_Harvey Schmeckel

    D_Harvey Schmeckel New Member

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    Have been googling about academic studies on sexual attraction, and while finding lots of interesting material did not find anything about age. The reason I was looking is because this site has made me think about a trait that I took for granted for most of my life: attraction towards men (and women) within ten years of my own age. At 20, I found over-30s unappealing; at 30, 20-year-olds looked pubescent, 40-year-olds over the hill. Through my 40s and into my 50s my epitome of hotness has been a fit man of the babyboomer generation. When seeing a survey question here about hottest celebs to have a threesome with, I picked Woody Harrelson and Christopher Meloni without thinking about their ages, then looked them up and found they were both born in 1961. Younger hunks and even twinks can arouse me in an abstract way as j/o fodder, but that weak-in-the-knees feeling of being overwhelmed by lust can only be evoked by daddy types. And when it comes to women in porn, I’d rather see those daddies fucking buxom milfs than cheerleaders. None of this feels like a preference so much as an orientation, a basic predisposition to see same-generation as attractive. While to me this feels normal and natural, when I look around I wonder if it’s average or typical. Most guys my age seem to find it normal and natural to have little interest in over-40s and focus their libido on images of youth, judging by porn consumption patterns and pop culture.

    I’m intrigued by varieties of the same question: why are we turned on by the things we are, in terms of individual biology and psychology, but also culturally and as a species? So would like to invite comment on how members feel about attraction to people their own age vs. older or younger, both from personal experience and as a question about cultural and biological factors. Is your libido’s focus mainly inter- or intra-generational? How wide are your margins of age acceptability between the unacceptably young and the creepily decrepit? How have they changed over time?
     
  2. dc46064

    dc46064 New Member

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    I have always picked a partner, male or female, around my own age or older. My second wife was 10 years older than myself. My male partner of 14 years is 3 years younger than me. I dont know why, but we go out on the town for the night, I always get the younger ones that try to pick me up and I really dont want anything to do with them. Now that I am 50, I dont like to be with anyone younger than 35 and older than 55. Dont know why I pick these ages, they are just in my head. Younger ones are pretty to look at, but do nothing for me in the sexual deaprtment. Hope this helps you.
     
  3. D_Raymond Handler

    D_Raymond Handler Account Disabled

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    When I was young I was really into older men - had a boyfriend who was 37 when I was 20. The same with women. The first woman I had sex with was at least 15 years older than I. Over the years, as I aged, I continued to go for the 40 year olds. I still am not interested in twinkies, but find now that although some younger people are a turn-on, I really have no age limit. Any reasonably attractive woman is great, and a guy of any age with a big dick gets my attention.
     
  4. nudeyorker

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    When I was a senior in HS I was going out with someone in college. When I was an undergraduate I dated grad students. When I was a grad student I was with someone 12 years older. I've dated people older and younger however I have settled down with someone 13 years younger than I am. When I was younger I think I was drawn to the experience and maturity of older partners. As I have become older I appreciate the vitality and exuberance of someone younger.
     
  5. D_Harvey Schmeckel

    D_Harvey Schmeckel New Member

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    Thanks for all comments. Another thought occurred to me about this topic. My older brother and next-younger sister happen to be nineteen years apart with me about in the middle. The unwritten rule "old as my brother is too old, young as my sister is too young" probably took hold in my early years, and it still kinda defines my range of interest. So birth order might play into one's proclivities in this regard.
     
  6. AlphaSpartan

    AlphaSpartan New Member

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    I suppose age does play a role. Popular idea and culture of on person's generation may significantly clash with someone else's. I've been with a couple of women who were significantly older than me and I thought the sex was far from good, of course, when I offered suggestions of improvement they didn't pick up the new information too well. Hopefully that will change for me eventually.

    Back on topic, the one advantage I've found with partners of a different generation is that they are always very discrete which is of utmost importance to me... oh, and the fact that they are usually willing to pay for just about everything, which is somewhat of importance based on my current situation.

    I have to say, I have been shocked at just how sexual some older people can be. One woman who was around 20 years my senior actually started rimming me while she was sucking me off and stuck her tongue in my mouth without hesitation while we were kissing... not in that order, of course. ;)
     
  7. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

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    I date around my age, but I like older women. Simple and plain. The only reason I don't date them is because it is unrealistic. A 28 y/o isnt going to date a 20 year old.
     
  8. Silvertip

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    I have absolutely no age preference at all in either men or women with whom I am sexually active. For the past 25 years, however, the vast majority of my partners have been younger than I. That's not so much a preference as it is a fact that it's easier to find men and women who are as sexually active as I am among the younger set. My only requirement regarding age (other than being legal) is that the guy or gal be able to complete literate sentences and be mature enough that there isn't a pronounced generation gap. I mean like ... dewd ... wassup ... kewl.
     
  9. AlphaSpartan

    AlphaSpartan New Member

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    Even half the 50+ year olds talk like that where I'm from.
     
  10. lustful10

    lustful10 New Member

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    I don't really think about age, I don't have a particular age group I always like/date. My boyfriend is 48 (I'm 23). He's the oldest guy I've dated, but I was surprised when I found out his age. To me, he looks no older than mid-late 30s (maybe even early 30s). It really doesn't feel like that big of an age gap though anyway. He's pretty much on my wavelength a lot of the time - he acts/dresses/feels like a teenager (me too, even though I'm closer to being a teen than he is I'm not one anymore). He is amazingly attractive too. We get on really well (well, in general), and I don't often think about the age difference unless something reminds me, you know. We can just hang out and it's like we're around the same age pretty much.

    Anyway other than that... I've found younger and older people attractive/dated. Age is a number basically.
     
  11. petite

    petite New Member

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    I'm all over the spectrum here. Before I was 25, everyone I dated was 3-9 years older than me, slanted closer to the larger difference in age. Now I'm in my 30s and I'm attracted to a lot of younger men primarily. TheBoyfriend is a several years younger than me, but not enough that I could be called a cougar. He's only the second person I've dated who was younger than me. Actually, maybe that's not all over the spectrum. A bell curve of the ages of men I've dated would probably reveal that I'm attracted to a particular age range of men, regardless of my age!
     
    #11 petite, Mar 7, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2010
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