Sarcasm, anyone?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by IntoxicatingToxin, Feb 14, 2007.

  1. IntoxicatingToxin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    10,133
    Likes Received:
    152
    12 Reasons

    1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.

    2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.

    3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

    4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears's 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

    5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.

    6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.

    7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.

    8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.

    9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.

    10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

    11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.

    12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.
     
  2. nudeyorker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Messages:
    42,918
    Likes Received:
    37
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC/Honolulu
    :smile: Thank you... It has never been said better. You are the priestess of my universe today
     
  3. IntoxicatingToxin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    10,133
    Likes Received:
    152
    Haha... thanks! As much as I would like to take credit for this, I didn't write it... but I don't know who did, otherwise I would've mentioned them... it's been passed around in emails.
     
  4. Xavian

    Xavian New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2007
    Messages:
    53
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    It would have been more interesting if you didn't label it "sarcasm"...but I still love it :). Thanks for sharing!
     
  5. IntoxicatingToxin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    10,133
    Likes Received:
    152
    Well it IS sarcasm....
     
  6. B_Ray6955

    B_Ray6955 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2006
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Cleveland, Ohio -- won't chat with pipples whose p
    Thanks for the interesting read, darling Meg!

    Hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ...

    RAY, DUKE & KENZIE
     
  7. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    I love you, MEG!!!!

    Actually, while it is not quoted directly, it sounds a WHOLE lot like the letter I sent to Sen. Warner before the "amendment vote" last year. To put it mildly, he was NOT amused! I brought up most of those points, and instructed Mr. Warner (he works for me, his constitutent, right?) that he would vote against any legislation restricting my rights unless that same legislation made divorce illegal (Liz Taylor, anyone?), required a pre-marriage, good-faith baby for the reproduction requirement, and a codification of exactly which religion was the state religion (would it be one that prohibited women from wearing makeup, or one that required the cow-patty hairdo?)

    Anyway, thank you. Please, write to your state and federal legislators, and bring up these most salient points!
     
  8. B_big dirigible

    B_big dirigible New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2005
    Messages:
    2,739
    Likes Received:
    0
    What? Polyester isn't natural?
     
  9. No_Strings

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    4,100
    Likes Received:
    6
    an amatuerish attempt at sarcasm



    :biggrin1:
     
  10. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    Why amateurish?
     
  11. Full_Phil

    Full_Phil New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2007
    Messages:
    226
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northeastern Ohio
    Great stuff!
     
  12. B_big dirigible

    B_big dirigible New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2005
    Messages:
    2,739
    Likes Received:
    0
    Perhaps because worthwhile sarcasm should imply that there's an insightful critique in there somewhere.

    Simpleminded logic, primitive caricatures, puerile non sequiturs, and sweeping overgeneralizations all add up to little more than a twittering rant - a feeble substitute for thoughtful sarcasm.

    Or maybe he meant something else entirely.
     
  13. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    I tend to see the most common arguments against same-gender marriage equality to be the simpleminded logic and puerile non sequiturs.

    And since Meg acknowledges that the 12 reasons list is not original, perhaps there was additional verbage which would have provided more on the insightful critique. I don't know. The insightful critique, I understood, was the list itself, making a comment on the absurdity of the simpleminded reasoning of same-gender marriage opponents. It carries the absurd assumptions to their equally absurd conclusions.
     
  14. fortiesfun

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    4,692
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    The problem is that it is so damn hard to offer deep criticism of shallow rhetoric. Saturday Night Live is not Gulliver's Travels, but what do expect when the 700 Club is your target?

    When the argument against gay marriage is more than perpetuating an anti-modernist agenda and fear mongering, perhaps it will produce a great counter-literature.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted