(Satire) The gay agenda

[jonb]

You might've heard the Jerry Falwells, Pat Robertsons, and James Dobsons of the world talking about the Gay Agenda. Well, I happen to have a copy of it from the Head Homosexual himself:

6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 pm Brunch
2:00 pm Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local governments as well as all other national governments, recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle, destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages, replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels, establish planetary chain of homo breeding gulags where over-medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership, bulldoze all houses of worship, and secure total control of the internet and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.
2:30 pm Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 pm Cocktails
6:00 pm Light Dinner (soup, salad, with chardonnay)
8:00 pm Theater
11:00 pm Bed (du jour)

 

[philberttrw]

God, jonb, HOW DID YOU KNOW???

Damnit, now I have to go and adjust my schedule. This'll TOTALLY throw off my appointment for botox.

 

[13788]

pdrprst: If the straight guys can slip in about 2:30 to visit the overmedicated straight women I'm sure you can get the Gay Agenda passed in the House and Senate right away.

 

[Ecchi]

I've never really found satire funny so much as really, really disturbing. Problem is, you know there are people out there who think like that.

And since when have gays been associated with pederasts? I've heard of far far more straight pederasts than gay.

 

[jonb]

Well, actually, "pederast" is defined as specifically male/male. The reason goes back to ancient Greece. "Pedophilia", OTOH, is defined regardless of gender.

As for the joke, the joke is just how full your schedule is without plans for world domination, even though paranoid conspiracy theorists think all (homosexuals | Jews | secular humanists | other scapegoat) have enough time to do this.