Saying No To Someone?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Incocknito, Feb 23, 2011.

  1. Incocknito

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    Is it cool to just say "I don't like you, sorry" to someone when you've arranged to go on a date?

    I thought to myself a date couldn't hurt and she is a nice person but I don't think she's the right girl for me.

    Is there a way to let her down gently?

    Usually I would just go with the flow, go on dates with people but its getting to be expensive so I feel I need to be more selective instead of arranging dates with anyone who asks. Plus she is actually not that attractive.

    It's just that I would feel bad because she is really looking forward to going on a date with me. But surely it would feel worse for me to go on the date and pretend I like her? Guess its a rock and a hard place situation.

    Probably sounds trivial though. I'm such a social noob.
     
  2. Pendlum

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    You could try just becoming friends with her. Sometimes that might be worse then being let down, but sometimes it isn't. It really depends on the person, so you're in a better position than I to determine if it is a viable option.
     
  3. Incocknito

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    Well I have another date with a girl I really like on Sunday. I just think she'd get jealous and I'd feel bad morally going on two dates in one week.

    I'll have to just tell her I'm sorry but I'd rather not waste my or her time. I am looking for a wife you know.
     
  4. paigexox

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    Just tell her in a heartfelt and sincere manner. It's going to sting either way, but if this way the both of you may be able to look back upon it in the future and understand that was the "right" way to end things.

    Best of luck, I know that's a tough situation to find yourself in.
     
  5. petite

    petite New Member

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    You're going to have to let her down some time, and it's better to do it soon because the more time that passes the more attached she might become.
     
  6. Incocknito

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    Thanks. I'll have to tell her tomorrow.
     
  7. helgaleena

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    Only go dutch and only go in groups, if it includes her. That is less expensive and more ambiguous. She will eventually realize you are not 'hot and heavy' about her. You are under no obligation to ask anyone out regardless of their gender.

    BUT-- you already asked her! No matter how you slice it, you are welching. Bite the bullet and say you don't have the money for a nice date and why. Why? You don't want to spend on somebody who isn't wife material because you are superficial like that.

    If it were me, I, she would get her date with you as well as a surprise third friend 'at the last minute'. Be generous but coy.
     
    #7 helgaleena, Feb 23, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2011
  8. irox19

    irox19 New Member

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    Ugh This is exactly why I never, ever pursue, even when it's someone I really want. It doesn't seem worth putting myself out there first (even though apparently, guys like that) only to have a guy worry about hurting my feelings. Screw that!
     
  9. AM_092

    AM_092 Guest

    It's always a good idea to be polite!

    If there aren't many factors that make you want to go on a date with her, why did you agree to it in the first place??

    Oh, right. You're male. We're not very good at making decisions...
     
  10. Incocknito

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    Well basically she was saying to me "are you working tomorrow?", "I'm not working x and y". So I took the hint and asked if she wanted to go out or something and things snowballed from there.
     
  11. Pendlum

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    Headbutt her in the tits, grab your jacket, and walk away. </maddox>
     
  12. ConstantComment

    ConstantComment New Member

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    Any commitments that you have already made, I can't help you with. I hate people who cancel. Even days before the date.

    Regarding new offers, so to speak. You don't have to say yes. A lot of people know that when they don't hear yes, it is most likely no. For women who suggest getting together, you could talk in terms of group activities. If you and your friends are in the habit of rounding up people to do things, just put her on the mailing list and make a point speaking to her when you see her. IF that doesn't cool a woman's romantic ardour, I don't know what will. Still, someone like myself who like the opportunity to meet other people will welcome the invitation and the opportunity to think of you as a friend asoopsed to a flash in the pan.

    For those ladies who are more persistent, who prefer to be and their men to be straight up, then you just need to tell them that you are not interested and to please respect that personal choice.

    You shouldn't need to discuss your financial situation. One reason why I have become more picky about going out with male friends is because, understandably, it is a dutch thing. In that case, then I want a group activity so that my hard earned entertainment budget can go towards visiting with several people in one evening instead of just one friend or acquaintance.
     
  13. helgaleena

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    Quickly, find a third person to be there!
     
  14. D_Relentless Original

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    Poor Woman, you did not have to say anything, why would you take the hint if you knew you were not interested mate?
     
  15. AM_092

    AM_092 Guest

    Off with his head!!!

    :)
     
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