Scared to approach a woman!

[D_Dagleishe Deadlyfarte]

Why i gotta be "grandpa"!?!??? Lol! That was funny tho...

I've been reading the replies and yours is one of my favorites. I'm getting better. I'm not all nervous and worried as before. I'm trying to get my confidence back so I can be better.

As far as the shit that happened...

When I was younger, I fooled around with a dude and liked it. Then for a minute I didn't know which team I was gonna play on, but recently I decided that I need a woman in my life and that dudes alone just won't cut it. However, my dick seems to have a mind of its own.... but that's another topic. :wink:

I have a roommate that pulls in all types of "hoes" (his words not mine), so i'm trying to get some skills from him on that. My conflict is trying to balance his style with mine. I ain't no pimp and I don't wanna be. I just wanna be able to get a few numbers and have somebody to kick it with when I'm bored or lonely. I don't like playin games. That takes too much effort.

I guess I'm concerned about my "nice guy" persona. I've been told that I have a great personality, but the question I've been asking myself is: Should i be a jerk (because girls like those dudes for some reason) or just be patient and wait for someone genuine?

I don't know... I'm probably just over analysing things (like usual. I'm a nerd, what can I say...)

 

[helgaleena]

Genuine is always best! (short answer)

What is it about a woman in your life that a man cannot provide? I am befuddled by this viewpoint, because having yourbabies or doing your chores is not going to satisfy her sexually. You need to be something she wants in HER life too, you realize.

 

[D_Dagleishe Deadlyfarte]

Genuine is always best! (short answer)

What is it about a woman in your life that a man cannot provide? I am befuddled by this viewpoint, because having yourbabies or doing your chores is not going to satisfy her sexually. You need to be something she wants in HER life too, you realize.

I never said anything about having a woman just for chores and popping out babies. Lol. I want her to be happy with me too. I respect women. That's why I don't feel comfortable being the asshole that women these days seem to flock to.

 

[helgaleena]

sooooo. I am attracted to assholes instead of whom? You? :grrr:

It's true that you could get a male to do your chores but not have your babies. Just about everything I can imagine would be possible for a lover of either sex to do for you, innit?

 

[dce21b]

I'm no cassanova but I guess I'll give my two cents. Online dating has never worked for me and basically is a waste because people act all sorts of ways and have no inhibitions about what they say or do because it seems almost unreal or fantasy because you are online. Then when you meet they could be completely different or psycho.

It works for me and what I do when I go out usually by myself... I don't really have friends(I know pathetic) so I will just find a spot and post up on the bar.

I live in Philly so there's plenty of spots to go. If I see a group of girls just chilling by the bar I sit near them enjoy my drinks and take it all in. Eventually I will find a simple non-threatening way to start a conversation; such as maybe a girl is trying to get the bartenders attention but is unsuccessful. Oh might I add is that when your sitting at the bar TIP THE BARTENDER!! That way they always notice you and serve you promptly. If you do this the bartender will come and you can either by their drink or just order it for em. Or maybe ask to borrow a lighter for a cigarette. Just something simple to get into some kind of conversation.

I know this all sounds stupid but its my game and it works. Guess it doesn't hurt that I don't look like I got smashed in the face with a 2x4 and talk intelligently and respectful.

My point being is don't drink so much that your a slush.
Take notice of your surroundings and you will notice guys just trying wayyyy to hard to the point that its hilarious. Just keep in mind that's what not to do.
Don't be that guy getting shot down by every girl in the club or bar everyone sees it and its pathetic cause no self respecting girl is going to talk to the ass clown just trying to get a piece of ass.
Be yourself
You don't have to start talking to the girl you want, start with her friend and work your way their. This really helps because you can talk to the one your not interested in and not worry about it so much cause your not trying to get in her pants.

I dunno this is what I do when I go out and it works I make fun of myself, tell some jokes ask them what they do etc. and just chat it up. before I know it they want me to dance with them, go to an after party etc. Though I don't dance really unless I've known the girl or been drinking waaayyy to much.. cause its more like dry humping then dancing lol like R kelly said why don't they slow dance in the club?

Basically I just try to make friends with the girls you know if you make your presence known and your talking most girls will take the next step to let you know they interested.

Oh and don't forget the bartender i cant count how many hotties behind the bar I ended up with cause Id hit the same spot so often that Id end up knowing them and having a relationship.

There's nothing wrong with you being quiet or whatever its better to be seen as the nice guy then the obnoxious drunk.

I'm rambling on later

 

[D_Dagleishe Deadlyfarte]

I'm no cassanova but I guess I'll give my two cents. Online dating has never worked for me and basically is a waste because people act all sorts of ways and have no inhibitions about what they say or do because it seems almost unreal or fantasy because you are online. Then when you meet they could be completely different or psycho.

It works for me and what I do when I go out usually by myself... I don't really have friends(I know pathetic) so I will just find a spot and post up on the bar.

I live in Philly so there's plenty of spots to go. If I see a group of girls just chilling by the bar I sit near them enjoy my drinks and take it all in. Eventually I will find a simple non-threatening way to start a conversation; such as maybe a girl is trying to get the bartenders attention but is unsuccessful. Oh might I add is that when your sitting at the bar TIP THE BARTENDER!! That way they always notice you and serve you promptly. If you do this the bartender will come and you can either by their drink or just order it for em. Or maybe ask to borrow a lighter for a cigarette. Just something simple to get into some kind of conversation.

I know this all sounds stupid but its my game and it works. Guess it doesn't hurt that I don't look like I got smashed in the face with a 2x4 and talk intelligently and respectful.

My point being is don't drink so much that your a slush.
Take notice of your surroundings and you will notice guys just trying wayyyy to hard to the point that its hilarious. Just keep in mind that's what not to do.
Don't be that guy getting shot down by every girl in the club or bar everyone sees it and its pathetic cause no self respecting girl is going to talk to the ass clown just trying to get a piece of ass.
Be yourself
You don't have to start talking to the girl you want, start with her friend and work your way their. This really helps because you can talk to the one your not interested in and not worry about it so much cause your not trying to get in her pants.

I dunno this is what I do when I go out and it works I make fun of myself, tell some jokes ask them what they do etc. and just chat it up. before I know it they want me to dance with them, go to an after party etc. Though I don't dance really unless I've known the girl or been drinking waaayyy to much.. cause its more like dry humping then dancing lol like R kelly said why don't they slow dance in the club?

Basically I just try to make friends with the girls you know if you make your presence known and your talking most girls will take the next step to let you know they interested.

Oh and don't forget the bartender i cant count how many hotties behind the bar I ended up with cause Id hit the same spot so often that Id end up knowing them and having a relationship.

There's nothing wrong with you being quiet or whatever its better to be seen as the nice guy then the obnoxious drunk.

I'm rambling on later

Wow, ok. I'm feelin that. I think I'll try that sometime. I'll prob drag some friends along so I won't feel complete ackward. Lol.