Schrödinger’s Rapist: A guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced

[MickeyLee]

We all get a little scared sometimes - but those of us with a lot of experience of being attacked ,& getting broken bones, teeth, & stab wounds, yet still tread the same path, probably have a better rationale.

rape is in a totally different class of assault. ya are a man, i doubt you will ever understand the fear. my amazon ass can't quite understand the fear. i just know it's real.

your hard cunt status, and male physique, gives you an advantage in defending yourself or dishing out an equalizing an beat down.

women often have no experience in fist to cuffs, have a size disadvantage. and well.. rape is rape. no experience myself, but i have been bashed. i can honestly say i would rather nurse broken bones than deal with the aftermath of rape.


likes above... i'm never worried about a man attempting to rape me. i give off an attitude of not being someone to fuck with. also got an advantage of being taller, stronger and more willing to do damage than most women. so i walk down dark alleys, head out to roam at 4am, never flinch when anyone gets into an elevator.

when it comes to my girlie? i get a bit cavedyke protective. she's tiny. got a mouth full of razor blades, but maxes the scale at 89-94 lbs. i am hyper aware of every twitchy looking bastard in the room. when she steps out, i follow her and keep an eye out for anyone going her way. i've taught her how to gravely injure an attacker with most of the items in her purse.

she thinks my protectiveness is adorable and silly. i tell her i am not crazy, the world is a dangerous place.

if i had a kid, male or female, i'll teach them to defend themselves. to not be afraid of embarrassing themselves or someone else if they are uncomfortable or feel threatened. to be as loud and confrontational as their Mom :tongue: when required.

i don't really agree with the blog on topic. but i can see where the fear comes from.. and how fear can make a person feel helpless. if being on constant guard makes getting through the day easier, keep on guard.

 

[dolfette]

broken bones are a piece of piss.

 

[B_crackoff]

broken bones are a piece of piss.

I don't think the initial terror of 5-6 strangers hitting you with bats & stabbing you is. Do you think that being glassed in the eye (by a woman), seemingly out of nowhere & seeing blood spraying out of your face, then pulsing in jets like a slasher film for 10 minutes is cool too!

How about having someone fishhook you so hard their finger went straight through your cheek, ripping it open leaving a nice 2 inch gash?

Maybe scars & missing teeth just make a man look cool?

It's not a competition. Each victim goes through their own shit, but my point is that to blame & suspect each & every other human, because the individual has gone paranoid is nuts.

I've got a friend who had his mouth stapled shut & a hot iron smashed against his face by a Thai woman & her mates, & an ex who was raped by 2 Jamaicans, who also forced at gunpoint, her 2 male flatmates to fuck each other.

Their anger was, & is, directed against the people that did it - NOT the race, type, or gender.

Anything else is just a gateway to hate. It's bigotry pure & simple. Caution is OK & fully understandable, as is avoiding similar situations - but if you have paranoia - you need help.

Of course people should have to earn your trust, but that should be on an equal opportunities basis.

 

[dolfette]

i didn't say the trauma was a piece of piss.
i said broken bones were.
that's the point.

 

[Catharsis]

Well, obviously I'm not a woman... But I know that all the smart girls at college go to parties in packs and usually hang around some guys whom they already know. Still, there are some girls who hook up with guys. My roommate has done it on more than one occasion and I know one of my friends did this when he was trying to cope with his breakup with his ex-girlfriend. I'm sure many other guys do this, too, for whatever reason. I never did, though.

And yet you still hear about rape on campuses and my college made a pretty big deal on this during freshman orientation, and I believe that it happens more often than reported.

 

[VernalTiger]

I've got a friend who had his mouth stapled shut & a hot iron smashed against his face by a Thai woman & her mates, & an ex who was raped by 2 Jamaicans, who also forced at gunpoint, her 2 male flatmates to fuck each other.

Their anger was, & is, directed against the people that did it - NOT the race, type, or gender.

Your friends may not hold the race of their attackers against them, but by mentioning it, you do.

Your story would have remained relevant had you left that information out.

 

[Intrigue]

no, you're not saying that right and it does offend.
sometimes it just can't be avoided (eg. i was asleep in the family home, with all the doors locked and a large, fierce dog on the premises) and that statement sounds like blaming the victim to my ears.
any subsequent explanation of your use of that phrase does not lessen the offense i feel. we all know that sometimes there is nothing a body can do to prevent something happening. well... i suppose my subsequent chronic insomnia would.

Your right. No amount of apologizing will present the offense. Perhaps explaining what I meant by those words will help. If not then that's ok too. In the context of what I was saying my intent was to say that a person who is prepared or trained has a lower chance of being caught unawares and taken advantage of. What I did was use a sweeping statement that did not take into account situations beyond the victims control. This was a grievous error on my part, one I tried to mitigate by saying i didnt mean to offend. Instead of just changing my words or explaining myself better I offended. This was not my intent. I realize that does not lessen the offense, but I can't just say something that offends to that level without trying to understand what I've said that offended and understood what brought me to use those words. So even though i may be wasting my breath(typing) I do apologize and retract my statement in so far as it appeared to blame the victim. I still believe that a prepared individual is less of a target and less likely to become a victim, however this does not mean that it can't or hasn't happened to those very well prepared.

 

[dolfette]

i knew what you meant, but the way you said it was bolloxish and irritating.

i'll forgive you. just this once.

 

[Intrigue]

i knew what you meant, but the way you said it was bolloxish and irritating.

i'll forgive you. just this once.

I've been known to be quite irritating... Just ask my wife! Lol. Thanks though for understanding. I try pretty hard not to offend or step on toes but occasionally I get a case of foot in mouth disease.

*Hands Dolf a Dove chocolate with the message "Thanks for being you" scrawled on the inside*

 

[B_curiousme01]

Men have been ruling the planet by killing since walking upright. Many are famous for it and fill textbooks with their murderous conquests. There are few women who started/fought in war - joan of arc is the only one I can think of.

Women have only recently (100 years or so) begun to bloom. Our ancestors all had their "burka" problems in one way or another. We were not even allowed to cut our hair, walk outside by ourself, show our ankles, choose our own husband or own anything (the husbands got it all). I could go on. This has been our history since dawn of time. Please think on that for a moment.

No men of any color, race, religon or creed ever experienced any of that.

The Bible (written by men only) blames Eve for Adam's nautral sexual desires. Men so feared women and sexual desires, they tell us specifically that Mary Magadeline gave birth to Jesus via an "immaculate conception!" They also tell us she was a prostitute.

In modern times, the Vatican says "women" can marry at 12 years old and blesses the union.

We all know that it's a proven fact that men kill women every single day in every country in the world. They kill other men too. The news is full of men murdering. There are a few women who do it too.

So, yeah. We have real fears. I've recently begun to carry weapons. Spray and a small handgun. So you could say this female has sharpened her weapons as another precaution.

For men who think they are safe because they are male should google Jeffrey Dahmer. There are men stronger than you who can instantly f-ck you up and kill you in an instant.

 

[MickeyLee]

Men have been ruling the planet by killing since walking upright. Many are famous for it and fill textbooks with their murderous conquests. There are few women who started/fought in war - joan of arc is the only one I can think of.

history is full of women leading armies, declaring war, slaughtering rivals.

Women have only recently (100 years or so) begun to bloom. Our ancestors all had their "burka" problems in one way or another. We were not even allowed to cut our hair, walk outside by ourself, show our ankles, choose our own husband or own anything (the husbands got it all). I could go on. This has been our history since dawn of time. Please think on that for a moment.

No men of any color, race, religon or creed ever experienced any of that.

ummm slavery? holocaust. inquisition. just sayin'.

The Bible (written by men only) blames Eve for Adam's nautral sexual desires. Men so feared women and sexual desires, they tell us specifically that Mary Magadeline gave birth to Jesus via an "immaculate conception!" They also tell us she was a prostitute.

The Virgin Mary, Mary Magdaline..... two totally different women. Mary Magdaline. is said to be a prostitute in later translations of the bible. she was a widow of a merchant. to some people she's seen of as one of the most loyal apostle.

In modern times, the Vatican says "women" can marry at 12 years old and blesses the union.

is not just the Vatican!! in some countries the age of marriage can be as low as 8 years old. ain't that just too damn beautiful :irked:

We all know that it's a proven fact that men kill women every single day in every country in the world. They kill other men too. The news is full of men murdering. There are a few women who do it too.

women kill other women. and children.

So, yeah. We have real fears. I've recently begun to carry weapons. Spray and a small handgun. So you could say this female has sharpened her weapons as another precaution.

i agree with this part. just make sure you know how to use ya gun and ya mace. having them in your pocket book isn't enough.

For men who think they are safe because they are male should google Jeffrey Dahmer. There are men stronger than you who can instantly f-ck you up and kill you in an instant.

John Wayne Gacy killed more men.

 

[dolfette]

i live in boadicea country.

she was kickarse!

...of course she only had to become kickarse after the stinking romans raped her daughters because she dared expect to inherit her late husband's shit.

says it all really.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Men have been ruling the planet by killing since walking upright. Many are famous for it and fill textbooks with their murderous conquests. There are few women who started/fought in war - joan of arc is the only one I can think of.

This is a stupid argument - not to mention a load of old bollocks. The Medici women, Boudica (aka Boadecia), Queen Victoria, Queen Elizabeth I, Eleanor of Acquitane, Catherine the Great, Cleopatra... just off the top of my head.

There have been plenty of powerful, warring women - it doesn't change the fact that most human cultures have been aggressively patriarchal for a very long time.

Women have only recently (100 years or so) begun to bloom. Our ancestors all had their "burka" problems in one way or another. We were not even allowed to cut our hair, walk outside by ourself, show our ankles, choose our own husband or own anything (the husbands got it all). I could go on. This has been our history since dawn of time. Please think on that for a moment.

Dawn of time? No - there have been matriarchal societies too. Why try to make this an absolute argument? You only weaken your not entirely unreasonable point.

No men of any color, race, religon or creed ever experienced any of that.

Now that really is bollocks. Plenty of men have experienced total subjugation - been told what to wear, how to behave, where to go, who to marry.

The Bible (written by men only) blames Eve for Adam's nautral sexual desires. Men so feared women and sexual desires, they tell us specifically that Mary Magadeline gave birth to Jesus via an "immaculate conception!" They also tell us she was a prostitute.

Oh dear. Just oh dear. The Mary who was Jesus' mother is not the same Mary as Mary Magdalene. And the Bible does not say Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, at all.

Also - please show me the definitive proof that no women had a hand in authoring the Bible. I agree Christianity is a patriarchal religion, it has become more so over time than it was at it's origins. Some even suggest there was a repressed 5th gospel written by Mary Magdalene - but that's not really a matter for this thread. My point is you know fuck all about it and really should avoid using your misconceptions to make a point.

In modern times, the Vatican says "women" can marry at 12 years old and blesses the union.

We all know that it's a proven fact that men kill women every single day in every country in the world. They kill other men too. The news is full of men murdering. There are a few women who do it too.

There are plenty of female murderers and abusers - women are not inherently peaceful and lovely.

So, yeah. We have real fears. I've recently begun to carry weapons. Spray and a small handgun. So you could say this female has sharpened her weapons as another precaution.

For men who think they are safe because they are male should google Jeffrey Dahmer. There are men stronger than you who can instantly f-ck you up and kill you in an instant.

Few men, in my experience, feel safe just by virtue of their gender - when they are attacked, especially when the attack is of a sexual nature, there is a social stigma that makes it even harder for them to face what has happened to them. We all face problems. They aren't necessarily the same - but I think your attempts to make women's problems sound more profound than men's followed by your final paragraph is just, well, silly. Not to mention offensive to both men and women.

ETA: Damn you ML - and damn me for getting up and sorting the laundry mid reply!! :smile:

But I don't think any translations of the Bible call MM a prossie either (though I haven't read them all) - that came from a confused 6th century Pope.

 

[Not_Punny]

Weirdly enough, I don't fear for me, although I try not to be out late at night all by myself -- I get stalked EVERY single #$(*#($ time.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" "You look pretty." "How about you and me having a good time?" (This happens on the STREETS and in PARKING LOTS, and sometimes (but not as often) in supermarkets and drugstores.)

I figure guys either think I'm a hooker or there are potential rapists everywhere I go. Probably the former. And no, I don't wear hooker clothes. This happens even if I'm wearing the dowdiest clothes imaginable.

- - - - -

What many men going about their daily life DON'T have to deal with are CRUISERS. In any location, there are usually quite a few men are out there, cruising. Men cruise at any time of day, but usually at night, looking for a good time, but not necessarily looking to hurt anyone. (And even if a cruiser-type man isn't cruising, he's still alert for "possibilities")

These "innocent" cruisers are relatively easy to deal with, I'm usually polite and straightforward.

But sadly, rapists and murders also cruise.

I've been lucky so far.

Knock on wood (pun not intended.... or was it?)

 

[MickeyLee]

ETA: Damn you ML - and damn me for getting up and sorting the laundry mid reply!! :smile:

But I don't think any translations of the Bible call MM a prossie either (though I haven't read them all) - that came from a confused 6th century Pope.

ya is correct Ms. Manly. is taught by some folks that Mary Magdalene was a prossie. i think her first actual mention is something about her being in the company of jesus and their other disciples. and present at the crucifiction. i think she was the first person jesus appeared to after resurrection? *really, i have read the book, catholic school :tongue1:* there is another mention as her being a woman jesus had cast demons out of.

somewhere along the line.. the go with peace foot anointing lady. and the sin no more adulterer where fused with Mary Magdalene. kinda always though it was to take away from the value of Ms. Magdalene. cuz catholics really don't like women with power.

 

[dolfette]

in the uk rape within marriage was legal until 1991.

1989 in scotland.

in america it was still legal in some states until 1993.

ponder that one for a moment.
now ask yourself why some women lack faith.

 

[MickeyLee]

:frown::irked:

if a law maker ever gets in the elevator with me, i'm shooting first.. kicking the corpse later.

 

[dolfette]

:frown::irked:

if a law maker ever gets in the elevator with me, i'm shooting first.. kicking the corpse later.

well this is the climate we grew up in.
a wife could flee an abusive hubby,
get a new life, new home, new start.
but until those divorce papers come through he could, quite legally, rape her over and over and over again.
and it took until the 90's to change that.

that's how important our sexual safety has been as far as our societies, our governments, our legal systems were concerned. and these changes did not come in unopposed either. there were people pointing out that she promised 'with my body i thee worship', saying that a husband had every right.

i remember listening to that debate on the radio when i was in my impressionable teens. high power political and legal types insisting that women should shut up and put up with rape, as is our duty.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Dawn of time? No - there have been matriarchal societies too. Why try to make this an absolute argument? You only weaken your not entirely unreasonable point.

I don't want to stay too far off-topic, but I would want Manly to provide curiousme01 (and me) with an example of a matriarchal society- one where women dominated the way men do. I think there is a difference between having a female ruler (while men continue to be in charge of the economy and home life), or being a matrilineal or matrilocal society, and actually being a matriarch. The closest examples I can think of are horticultural societies, and some foraging societies in which women owned a significant portion of food stores, and therefore could participate in leadership decisions by withholding food from men. Iroquois did that. The men owned the meat, but the women owned maize, which the men needed in order to execute raids, hunting parties, and wars. If the women were against a proposed action, they refused to surrender any maize, and the action was therefore impossible. Because of this power, the women were afforded quite a lot of latitude, compared to pastoral and agrarian societies, but the men were still in control as far as I know. If you can think of any true matriarchal societies, it would be really cool to read about them. You don't have to post it in this thread, you could send it directly to me in PM or on my profile. I kind of feel guilty for going back n this direction after the thread was back on topic.

 

[helgaleena]

well this is the climate we grew up in.
a wife could flee an abusive hubby,
get a new life, new home, new start.
but until those divorce papers come through he could, quite legally, rape her over and over and over again.
and it took until the 90's to change that.

that's how important our sexual safety has been as far as our societies, our governments, our legal systems were concerned. and these changes did not come in unopposed either. there were people pointing out that she promised 'with my body i thee worship', saying that a husband had every right.

i remember listening to that debate on the radio when i was in my impressionable teens. high power political and legal types insisting that women should shut up and put up with rape, as is our duty.

Amen, ms dolfette.