Schrödinger’s Rapist: A guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced

helgaleena

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Befriend strange women and men in ways that do not get them reaching for mace or hidden firearms? Now that is a skill worth learning. I am fresh out of suggestions this evening though.
 

Catharsis

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Once again, I apologize. I said something that I didn't mean and I regret it. I did not try to say that I didn't say it, because I clearly did. But I never meant it to heart. Furthermore, I do realize that I actually was the one to hijack this thread by replying to the responses to my post, so I will try my best to bring it back to the original topic.

This is the main point of my post (to which I wish more people paid attention):

I don't think any one is saying that all men are rapists. But when you consider the gender of rapists, almost all of them will be men.
I left open the availability that there are female rapists, which is simply something I (PERSONALLY) had never heard of it. But I digress (I tend to do this a lot...)

As far as physical assaults, which would also be included in this topic, here's the post I quoted:

I have to say here, that all of us are half male, & half female.

To suggest that somehow or other, a historic look at gender affects either sex more NOW, is laughable. We all have perpetrator & victim blood in equal amounts.

I think that women have owned half or more of the world's assets since at least the 80s, & seem to have complete statutory control of the most important part of life - one's progeny.

If you want to say - get the violence exhibiting mentally ill, people bolted up & safe away from the rest of us, I'm all for it, but women are generally twice as worried about assault as men, yet get attacked half as much. In fact you are about 4 times more likely to be murdered if you are a man.

Any attempt to say that men do x or y more than z & a, isn't anything different to saying race b & c offend more than d & e. It's bigotry when applied as the blogger clearly did, especially when it maligns people as potential rapists, and that's, supposedly, the whole rationale for wearing the full hijab & veil.

All men are rapists who cannot control their urges.

Bollox, that's a tired old dog of a tale that needs to be dispatched, especially for anyone who's grown up in the western culture.
I would believe this is true. But I still think that females should take caution, as many women in this thread say that they do.
 

JMbig

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Hello all. I am new here and just kind of feeling my way around the site at the moment. After looking around a bit, I found this part of the forum and this thread. Out of all the different forums here, the discussions in this one seemed to be some of the more intellectually intriguing.

After reading the first post, my reaction was to question myself. "I wonder if I have ever come across this way to women?" In all likelihood, I may have and not realized it. I've been involved in work where I'm often required to exert authority. Sometimes in getting into that mindset, I stay in it on an unconscious level and it doesn't taper off until hours after I've been off of work. Someone I worked with a while back actually surprised me when he said, "Jeff there are some people here who are afraid of you." I just do what I do because I have a job to do and am responsible for others doing theirs. Never because I intend to frighten someone or put them under my thumb. After thinking it over, there have been several times I've approached a woman and may have unconsciously been projecting that kind of energy. I think I'll be doing a little self examination next time I'm in this situation, and just check myself about what kind of vibe I may be giving off. Thanks to the original poster for this food for thought!
 

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I have an ex who is just a giant of a man. A sales position gave him some helpful insight into talking to women. He found that women wouldn't make eye-contact with him or let him into their personal space. So, before he approached any woman, be it to make a sale or get a phone number, he'd chose something he liked about her and use it to break the ice. It was a two-step process. Step one was pay a genuine compliment, and step two was ask her to help another woman out. Example: "Excuse me, please. Your earrings are just dazzling. Something similar to those would really accentuate the elegance of my sister's long neck, just like those do for yours. Where can I find gifts like that?" Nothing is ever fool-proof, but if you can get a woman to smile a few times while talking about an innocuous subject, you can parlay that pleasant contact into contact information.

Watch your body language. If you're a gigantosaurus rex like my ex, perfect posture is intimidating. He found that if he held one of his shoulders, or put one hand on his neck, almost as if he were injured, women would let him stand several inches closer before backing up. He found that raising his eyebrows while listening was good, knitting them was bad. He found that fully open eyes were too intense, somewhat sleepy eyes were better. Smile easily and often. Don't be afraid to close your eyes.

Offer your number instead of asking for hers. Give her a business card. It is faster and classier than dialing your number into her phone. When approaching her, do not have any expectation beyond delivering your compliment and asking your question. If you suck at life, do not follow your instincts. Follow someone else

This is what he told me worked for him. He said he wished he'd figured this stuff out before he met me, and he might not have had to work so hard to get my attention. (He was socially retarded and I avoided him like plague for three months because he was awkward and creepy.)
 

B_curiousme01

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--------------------------------------------------------CM:please see my replies inbetween the lines below.I'm on mobile and cannot access
some features here.
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This is a stupid argument - not to mention a load of old bollocks. The Medici women, Boudica (aka Boadecia), Queen Victoria, Queen Elizabeth I, Eleanor of Acquitane, Catherine the Great, Cleopatra... just off the top of my head.
----------------------------------------------------------CM: you must have went to a more advanced school than I did. I wasn't taught much about these women nor that they were great leaders and some I have never heard of.
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There have been plenty of powerful, warring women - it doesn't change the fact that most human cultures have been aggressively patriarchal for a very long time.
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CM:I listed the only "powerful, warring women" I learned about in school. Who are they? If you asked random ppl on the street to name even three, I doubt they could.
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Dawn of time? No - there have been matriarchal societies too. Why try to make this an absolute argument? You only weaken your not entirely unreasonable point.
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CM: I'm sure a few have exisited since the dawn of time. Who are all these matriachal societies you claim existed. Again, I was never taught about them. Not even one. I do know about warring men and could probably name 20 right now.
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Now that really is bollocks. Plenty of men have experienced total subjugation - been told what to wear, how to behave, where to go, who to marry.
--------------------------------------------------------------CM: wtf? By women????? "Plenty????????????" Who, when, where???? Please specify in what socities women have imposed these rules on men?
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Oh dear. Just oh dear. The Mary who was Jesus' mother is not the same Mary as Mary Magdalene. And the Bible does not say Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, at all.
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CM; Sorry about that. My mother was raised strict catholic and would not allow a bible in the house. I apologize for not knowing the real facts. I've never, ever read one.
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Also - please show me the definitive proof that no women had a hand in authoring the Bible. I agree Christianity is a patriarchal religion, it has become more so over time than it was at it's origins. Some even suggest there was a repressed 5th gospel written by Mary Magdalene - but that's not really a matter for this thread. My point is you know fuck all about it and really should avoid using your misconceptions to make a point.
--------------------------------------------------------------CM: I don't have to show proof. If anyone who knows about the bible and can share with me that women wrote any part of it, I would like to know for my benefit.
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There are plenty of female murderers and abusers - women are not inherently peaceful and lovely.
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CM: your point? I admitted women kill. However, if we pulled stats from 2010, I think "plently" could only be attributed to men.
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Few men, in my experience, feel safe just by virtue of their gender - when they are attacked, especially when the attack is of a sexual nature, there is a social stigma that makes it even harder for them to face what has happened to them. We all face problems. They aren't necessarily the same - but I think your attempts to make women's problems sound more profound than men's followed by your final paragraph is just, well, silly. Not to mention offensive to both men and women.
--------------------------------------------------------------CM: MAJORITY of rape is committed by men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT WOMEN. If you find that offensive, so be it.

Women have gotten the short end of the stick for most of our history. No matter what you say, the proof exisits.
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ETA: Damn you ML - and damn me for getting up and sorting the laundry mid reply!! :smile:

But I don't think any translations of the Bible call MM a prossie either (though I haven't read them all) - that came from a confused 6th century Pope.
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I don't recall seeing your gender selected here. I'll have to go check, but I would bet the cash in my wallet it is "male" or not even selected.

If you think I am wrong about women being a second class citizen for most of our history, then prove me wrong. Tell me about them speficially.

OUR PROBLEMS ARE MORE PROFUND and always have been.

Back to my point.... Men have made rules against women forever.