Secure and Comfortable with Who You Are!!!

[hung]

One of the indicators of a mature individual is that they are happy with who they are. All too often we think that we must meet the criteria that others impose on us. To be truly happy, I think that each of us must be secure and also comfortable with who we are. This takes time and patience on our part; however, to be able to say "I am comfortable in my skin," is certainly just one of the hallmarks of some one who is secure and who also knows who they are.

Not always easy, but I feel that the most important aspect of this statement is to realize that I am who I am. I am happy with my lot in life and I do not have to meet the standards and criteria that are the expectations of others who I know.

From our youth, our parent and/or parents attempted to instill a set of values in each of us that would serve us well in our life. We all attended education institutions to learn and also become productive citizens. All of this is well and good; but the overiding factor is "We must be comfortable in our own skin."

I post this today, to simply point out that the road if life is not easy, but I can assure everyone, that no matter who you are, you can be secure and comfortable. It takes patience and setting expectations that can be achieved. But never, never, ever sell yourself short.

One of the neat aspects of this Support Group is that anyone can post a concern or question and replies will be forthcoming.

 

[Bbucko]

One of the keys to self-acceptance (and I'll admit to being a work in progress) is loving one's faults as much as one's virtues. It is only by embracing the totality of who we are that negativity and self-doubt can be kept at bay.

 

[viking1]

I post this today, to simply point out that the road if life is not easy, but I can assure everyone, that no matter who you are, you can be secure and comfortable. It takes patience and setting expectations that can be achieved. But never, never, ever sell yourself short.

That's for sure. Life is hard. Cold and hard...

I sure hope that's true. I'm still striving for that after 46 years. It's been kind of tough...

 

[ManiacalMadMan]

I am happy with who I am and that is all that really matters

 

[AmbiDexBate]

Smile at what you have that is good that makes you happy. Laugh at your faults (at least, the unchangeable ones), because it's the only way I can think of to ever be really happy.

 

[HiJinx]

Yup,I hear what you're saying. I got married pretty young, after a while I came to terms with the fact that I was attracted to men but never acted on it. So I ended up getting divorced, fortunately my kids wanted to stay with me and I'm almost through raising them. They know, along with everyone else now that I'm gay, they have met my dates but I don't have men spend the night unless they are over at their mom's. I would do the same if I were straight. When they're out of high school and in college, I'll have my boyfriend move in. Hopefully, we'll be able to have a civil union if it doesn't get overturned. But at last, I'm happier than I ever have been. Being real is a ton more fun than trying to keep people from finding out who you really are.

 

[alex8.5]

When I was in my 20's, I wanted to change everything about me. I live in California, you are surrounded with beauty ( men and women) 24/7. Now I'm in my 40's. I love the man I have become, I am good looking, confident, self assured, successful, funny, smart. I love my flaws and my strentghs. My mid 30's to now have been the best ever, and it will only get better from here.

 

[EagleCowboy]

I became very secure with myself at a very early age. Kinda had to despite people. It was a hard road, many sleepless nights, but it's worth it to be totally secure with yourself in every way.

It's sort of amusing (or annoying) when others feel threatened by your security. They'll start pointing out all your faults. I suppose they do that to make themselves feel better somehow or to make you feel insecure someway, somehow so they don't feel as threatened. I'll start laughing and stop them in mid sentence to tell them that unless they want their many faults pointed out, that they should stop now.

People insist on telling you what to do and what's good for you. (read: all up in your business/running your life when they can't even run theirs) But Heaven forbid you should do that to them. They can't have that. I suppose it gives them a feeling of superiority over you. They really don't want you finding your own answers. Doing so might prove them wrong, and they can't handle or have that. They want you to believe their answers no matter what.

Once I figured that out, it became so easy. You are how you are. If you don't like it, fix it. It's not hard, but it may involve having to get out of your comfort zone. The good thing about that is you're making a new comfort zone. I mean, you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life, you better be your own best friend.

The trick is: KNOW THYSELF. Once you figure that out, what others say or do won't bother you in the least. And it's *SUCH* a nice feeling!!

 

[D_Ed69s girl]

"We must be comfortable in our own skin."

I post this today, to simply point out that the road if life is not easy, but I can assure everyone, that no matter who you are, you can be secure and comfortable. It takes patience and setting expectations that can be achieved. But never, never, ever sell yourself short.

One of the neat aspects of this Support Group is that anyone can post a concern or question and replies will be forthcoming.

WOW Thanks for posting this. I must admit I wasn't always comfortable with the myself. I has only been the last five years or so that I have truelly felt comfortable with myself. It has been a long hard road but it is most certianly worth every struggling step toward that goal.

You are so right at telling everyone never to sell themself short. You are only hurting yourself. And yes having a great support group helps a bundle even if it is just a Wonderful spouse who stand behind you and urges you to go for it.

I can honestly say if is wasn't for my husband Ed69 I would not be the secure confident woman that I am today.

Thanks again for posting this thread.

 

[got_lost]

All too often we think that we must meet the criteria that others impose on us. To be truly happy, I think that each of us must be secure and also comfortable with who we are.

Up until this last year I have certainly wasted my life living up to everybody else's expectations and not having the confidence or strength just to be me.

In the last year I have been on quite a journey and at last have found myself and accepted who I am for the individual that I am. I can now say 'fuck 'em' to all those who have endeavoured to control my life and bestow their own opinions on me as how I should live my life. Ironically, in my professional career I have been far more forthright ad thus successful. But not so in my personal life.

I can now honestly say that I am now secure & comfortable with who I am and I embrace that.

"We must be comfortable in our own skin."

That said, as much as I have accepted me, the inner part, I am not yet comfortable in my own skin regarding physicality. I am working on it, both by changing it (dieting) and trying to accept what I am. But I do hate my body. Thus in that aspect, I am definitely still a work in progress.

But I s'pose the important thing is (a) recognising the issue and (b) doing something about it. I shall get there, I know that. But cannot continue to hate myself for the next 2 years it will take me to get back to a body I can live with.....

Great post Hung.... very thought provoking

 

[hung]

A post today, to bring this topic back up to the top of the page. I appreciate the feedback I have received. Thank You!!!

 

[Mr. Snakey]

Im secure and comfortable with who i am and know that im still a work in progress