Seduction matter, need some help :)

vincenimes

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Hello everybody,
So last friday i encounter a great guy via a website ( gayromeo), we wanted sex, so i went to his flat, we chat ( he does not like when it's only sex), and i found him great.
But i never spoke with anyone about my bisexuality and so i say to him to not fall in love ( we stayed together all the night, with kisses and everything i don't do with a guy normally.)
So next day, facebook and skype and telephone. We spoke, it's great and he said to me when i ask him what is his king of guy "nice, intelligent, charming", i say "me what! lol" and i was joking but he said " if you wanted with a guy, yes you would be".
So I thought a lot about it and asked him when we can see yesterday. (we had spoke via facebook before).
And then he answers me that he more or less have a relation with a guy, a friend from three monthes, since wednesday.
I tell him that i would have liked to try too even if it was difficult, but he said ( he is a great guy after all) that he wanted to try with the other, that he likes me too, but it is more difficult ( because i said to him that i did not want at the beggining and i would only see him once before end of january).
So here I am, confused, sad, but he accepted nevertheless to see me next tuesday for a restaurant if i did no try anything.
He clearly said to me that he likes me too, but i was afraid at the beggining so i had said that i did not want a relationship with a guy, however with everything that happened, i don't know, to have a diner with somone you had sex, kissed and who you likes, am i wrong to think that it is not impossible if I play it cool and show him that why not?

A lot of thanks for your opinion
(ah btw, he is weel hung lol, 8; 8/.5 inches, great guy so i would really like to try with him if i could :/ )
 

mykal923

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I think u sent up the red flag to him from the start u need to be more open minded and not be in a rush to set yourself up for failure..You started out not wanting anything more then just one night of sex but ended up falling for the guy,I think u should remain friends with him sounds like u really like him! Im not sure u want to be with him as much as u say u have alot of doubts there in your mind also u said hes been dating someone for 3 months? Do u really want to start dating someone who cheated on his current with u to start with ? Good luck in whatever you choose to do
 

vincenimes

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Oh maybe I was not clear, he was single until that wednesday, but the guy with who he wants to start a relationship is a friend of him since 3 monthes.
Yeah i sent the red flag, but i kissed him, said to him that i wanted to sse him more, i thought he would understand i was thinking.
He said to me that he really wants to try with the other...
But when i asked him about me he said "i like you a lot, but it is not as simple ( he meant with you than the other i think), and i really want to try with the other".
I know i made a mistake but i don't want to loose him now that i think about it and i want him to think about it.
How can I make him choose me? :/
He accepted to have a diner with me next tuesday if i was wise and don't try a thing ( which means i think that he is not sure to resist if I try)
 

lopo2000

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Well, if you guys are meant to be together, I'm sure you'll finally end up with him. Be friends with him first, you just knew him. Don't rush into anything and take your time knowing him. But at the same time, don't give him mixed signals, say clearly what you want. I hope the best for you.
 

vincenimes

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Yeah but i'm regreting now, if it goes too well with the other?
The fact that I know that he likes me too help me and i think i should be a little more present for the moment to let the doubt in him no?
What do you think about the fact he accepeted a dinner a with me,i don't know, but i believe if he wanted that much to be with the other, he would not dare the devil even he said to me not to try a thing lol.
 

lopo2000

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Just play along with the fate, because sometimes it's funny how the odds play in our favor. I just learnt that we shouldn't pressure, and you certainly shouldn't too.
 

vincenimes

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I saw him yesterday (i did shopping on montpellier and asked him to come with me if he wanted, and he said yes), wa had a great date ( no sex no kiss) but we talked a lot and appreciated each other a lot. I think that he likes me too but i don't know how to make him choose me without being too obvious ...
I really want to be with him he is really what i want with a guy. If you have any advice.
 

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You seem like a real nice guy so whoever you end up with the person should be happy
Taking it easy with him, maybe ask him if he is OK if you phone or contact him daily' once ONLY at this stage
Just to initially keep your contact with him, especially if he likes to talk .. be starters, take your time.
Patience can be a long process huh?
If he does choose the other Man, then fair enuf tho, just start preparing yourself for that possibly happening
Wish you the very best of luck
Cheers!
 

vincenimes

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For him he wants to try with the other and like he said he is not the king of guy to try with a lot of guy at the time.
However, i do feel a mutual attraction ( he even said me that i could not sleep at his place because HE could not restrain himself xD). And we see each other again tuesday so i'm not sure that he is that sure of himself.
 

rbkwp

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That sounds even more promising for you then matey
Patience then i would think, he deserves the respect from you to let him take his opportunity with the other, by the sounds of it, and maybe he wont let you down
Sounds like you guys are being very fair and honest to each other
Rare with some?? ha
 

vincenimes

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Yeah we are kinda fair and honest, but we don't speak about each other directly; we talked about that like it does no really concern us it was really nice.
Yes he is hung AND NICE, that is why i'm trying that hard...
 

rbkwp

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Very pleased to hear that matey
Now just be patient and if you are a Rugby Fan then keep praying that the very Fine French Team will continue to surprise and Win over our All Blacks haha
I prefer the Australian Wallabies to our All Blacks, mainly because we are too Fanatical over the Abs, expecting them to win everything in the World haha ..true
 

vincenimes

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Yes but i don't know, i'm not that experienced with relationship and it scares me, i'm afraid to be disappointed anew...
And since i'm not near him i'm wondering if he is with his actual "boyfriend" or if he is with his friends. What he thinks about us?
I don't know, i don't have answers, that is why i ask you to know your point of view.
 

rbkwp

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Disappointment and Doubts are all a part of learning what relationships are all about matey
We all have to go thru them
Often just have to experience it all humble yourself and accept, thats the way things are im afraid
 

vincenimes

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I'm not somebody who thinks we should just accept everything.
I'm hoping, a for one time in a LONG time i hope life will do things well ( which means like i want to in that case).
And i'm wondering if i'm wrong to not let him be with his new BF, just because i have a feeling that i could go, well, far with him...