Seeking Advice

[friskykitty]

Hello...and thank you for reading and in advance for your advice!

I'm not a very sexually experienced female. I've had sex before with a man who i would say was "average" length with a good girth. Unfortuanately, he's been the only man I've had sex with....so i'm not exactly "broken in" to say the least. My sexual experience with that man was a bit uncomfortable at first(that was my first time with sexual intercourse) but after a few tries, things worked out great over the course of a year. I've not had sexual intercourse since then, which leaves me about 4years without any exercise down there.

My concern is this....my new boyfriend's penis is twice the size if not bigger than the last guy i was with. He has strayed away from being too intimate with me because of this...unknown to me until recently. We have discussed sex and he has let his concern be known. He was always shy about getting too intimate because he didn't want to scare me away from his size. He has had negative reactions to his size in the past....i try to keep him positive about his anatomy, and let him know that, that isn't important to me, that i will go through whatever pain it might bring to be with him. I really like him :wub: large penis or not!

I am not afraid nor scared to have sex with him....but I do worry about whether or not it will be a good experience for us both. I am willing to try things in advance...perhaps sizing myself for him with a dildo or something? I have not asked him what he thought of this...but i'm am curious if it would be worth a try, or rather wait and let him brake me in for himself? guys what do you think? I just love this guy so much and want give him a pleasant experience with sex for once! When i think about having sex with him, his size isn't what i'm thinking about....but i realize that maybe i should be more thoughtful of that....

So Ladies....do you have any suggestions about how i can maybe prepare myself for him? I've read a lot about how my vagina will accomodate him, theoretically....but i'm curious about the actuality of it. I've also seemed to find that it's easier for the woman to be on top so she can control how much of the man's penis enters her....what do you all think from experience? i think at first it would be easier for him to enter me missionary style until i get used to him, then experiment from there....? I cannot see having sex with a larger penis any different than with an average or smaller, except for "first entry." Then of course there is the length issue, how far will be too far etc. I guess my main concern is just fitting with him. I do realize that we would need to take it slow and it might take a few times before we are able to have full intercourse.....

Suggestions.....anyone?

 

[13788]

Hapi Papi: It sounds like you're wondering how to and planning to take all of him. You don't need to do that. If he's been successful with women without scaring them away, I'm sure he hasn't been able to insert all of it. And I doubt he or you needs it in all the way to enjoy your together time.

 

[shawn1_2]

Hello,

I'm new to post here.

I've only been with two women, and with the second one I was with I learned that I don't have to worry about "the entire thing". I was so worried that she would turn me away that it was hard to even unrobe in front of her. But after doing so, (unlike the first time) she was quite excited and made comments about me size that to my suprise turned me on.

She is a little small 4'10" girl, and although I could only get 1/4 of the way in, I learned that it's all about patience. I also learned that it's not about "hard-core fucking" the first couple of times, as we adjusted to eachother.

I would be patient and attentive and help your man understand where you can and can not go.

Again, I'm new, so I still have much to learn, but I hope this helps.

--shawn1_2

 

[13788]

lotuspetal: Hi and welcome
My first time was with a guy who I later found was really well hung it hurt like hell and almost put me off!! Luckly after the third time I really started enjoying what a big man could do to me. The second guy I had was well under average and I didnt know he had penetrated me (very unsatisfactory).
The best course of action with a big guy is lots of forplay and being on top is definatly going to give you the control you need and use lots of lube .
I am a confirmed size queen and proud.
good luck
lp :wub:

 

[friskykitty]

thank you for your comments!

i'm not thinking i will be able to take all of him in me. altho i think with his length it will make for lots more fun with varying positions.

i'm very patient....i would have liked to have had sex with him by now, but i am waiting until he is comfortable enough with me first...he's more concerned about this than i am.

since i've never experienced sex with a larger penis, i just want to make sure i can prepare myself because he is pretty sensitive to the situation. we have both agreed that if intercourse wasn't working out to well that we could do other things...which i'm alright with, but eventually i would like to take him easily. i'm just not too sure about what to expect.

 

[Pappy]

Lots and lots of foreplay and even more lube. Take it slow and easy and definately you on top!

 

[Xin]

Ok a while since this was posted so maybe you've got down to the deed since. Anyway.

I'd agree lots of foreplay, and probably a bit of lube down there too.
Other than that, my thoughts would be to 'get stuck in', so to speak. Haha ok, maybe that sounds a little blunt, but to whatever length the both of you feel most comfortable with, this is going to happen sooner or later, so why keep putting it off and having the both of you worrying, wondering, and just generally stewing over it for any longer?
Having said that though, certainly don't rush *straight* into it, and don't get down to some 'hard fucking' as soon as you do - you'll need to experiment and talk to each other as you go along, until you work out what feels best.
And I'm sure once you do have intercourse with him, you'll both be wondering why you ever worried about it!

Good luck, and many an orgasm to you! Hope this helped.

 

[friskykitty]

Xin -- nope, we haven't done it yet. i'm not rushing it cuz i know he's pretty sensitive to this issue(he's not had positive exeriences before). i should possibly maybe be upset that he thinks i'd be so shallow as to dump him if he is in fact to much for me...but i think given some time and effort things will work out in that area. even though, i too am a tad iffy about him, if he will be disappointed and dump me if things should not work out in that area...but i'm willing to give it a try when he's ready...which will likely be when he feels secure with me on this issue. i just want to make sure i'm prepared!

 

[Xin]

I could be totally wrong of course, but I think probably he's more worried about hurting you, or perhaps making it so awkward that you are reluctant to sleep with him too often than that he fears you would dump him.
Saying that though, as long as you make it clear you love him no matter what, and that want to keep working at it until you get it right, no matter how much pain, frustration, embarassment or uncomfort there is along the way, then I'm fairly confident he won't be showing you the door over such an issue.

 

[13788]

ugajen1: Hey Im new too. I just came onto this group because of the same issue. Ive had sex with six other guys and they dont come close to the guy im with now...

I waited a long time before. Everytime we would start I would just go down on him to avoid the issue. When we did do it...about a month ago I thought being on top would be best too, but hes too big for that...when I straddle him he comes up too far, and when I tried to lower down on him i kinda had this huge rush and couldnt support myself. We eventually did it doggy style with me laying face down on the bed and him standing up. THis was the best way for us because he didnt "fall" into me as he would have during missionary. The first time hurt worse than the first time i had anal sex, but the second time was better. He was very good about going slow and stopping as soon as I said something. We used lots of lube and I've found if he goes in really slow and then stays still for a few min i lossen up a whole lot. I cant take all of him though and a few times after we got into it he hit my cervix...(ouch!!&#33 but I will agree with the rest of them...i can't beleive how different he feels...hope this helps...

 

[Max]

Originally posted by ugajen1@Aug 30 2004, 09:15 AM
... I thought being on top would be best too, but hes too big for that...when I straddle him he comes up too far, and when I tried to lower down on him i kinda had this huge rush and couldnt support myself.

Ugajen: I agree with you. Our first experience with woman on top was almost exactly the same as yours in every detail ... though I am writing about it from the other angle, so to speak. The result was that she could not support herself, came down far too far on me and both of us suffered. Welcome to lpsg, BTW.

On the wider subject to frisky kitty: in my view the initial choice of position may matter less than all the other things that have been said. The essential thing is to find one that allows you to open wide and allows both of you plenty of control. Lube, lots of preparation, take it very slowly. You have to deal with girth before you need to think about taking him at all deeply. There are plenty of other threads mostly in the Sex with a Large Penis forum on this subject.

In a way the process of adjustment to a very large penis is so good and so sexy that it seems a pity to rush it.

 

[longbaugh]

Well
you've found a way to express your feelings to us pretty well. Now if you could just communicate those feelings to him in the same way. It sounds like he is sensative and knows that he needs to procede carefully so as not to hurt you.
Sounds like hours of foreplay are in order.
Just take it slow and enjoy the sensations
Big cocks can be fun

 

[friskykitty]

thank you all for the continued response to my post

when i think about this, in my mind....i think it would be easier to start out in the missionary position. just because i think he could have more control of entering me and applying the right amount of pressure. i think that is what will be the difficult part, him actually fitting inside me girth wise. which i know will take some patience....and yeah, like what ugajen1 said, with him being still once he's in me for a little bit, i think that would help too(not to mention it sounds incredibly sexy).

we haven't tried anything yet, but i will be sure to follow up on this and share my experience.

thanks again!

-frisky

 

[longbaugh]

Just make sure you are well lubed, one way or another.
We'd love to hear how it all comes together