Self-awareness And Improvement.

Tight_N_Juicy

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A thread for self reflection and character improvement.

Something I don't really enjoy about myself and my character, I am Way too confrontational. I have a hard time not being too expressive when I disagree with someone, or when someone does something that irritates me.

Even here, sometimes when I really should just report and move on I feel compelled to make my position known and it isn't always productive.

I'm trying to remind myself when I catch me being that way that sometimes I need to just stop, breath, and accept that I can move along and everything will be fine.

Feel free to share things you might be trying to improve about yourself. Unless you know... You're perfect :p:bomb:
 

gr8gatsby

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A thread for self reflection and character improvement.

Something I don't really enjoy about myself and my character, I am Way too confrontational. I have a hard time not being too expressive when I disagree with someone, or when someone does something that irritates me.

Even here, sometimes when I really should just report and move on I feel compelled to make my position known and it isn't always productive.

I'm trying to remind myself when I catch me being that way that sometimes I need to just stop, breath, and accept that I can move along and everything will be fine.

Feel free to share things you might be trying to improve about yourself. Unless you know... You're perfect :p:bomb:
Good bit of self reflection TNJ. Sometimes,I read your posts and more than seeing you as confrontational I hear your frustration. In those times I wish I could take you out for a coffee and listen for 15 minutes... sometimes that's all any of us need. For the record, I always appreciate the passion with which you express yourself.

Personally, I wish I wasn't so reactionary. Certain things trigger me and it would be wise of me to count to ten ... not always easy!
 

Squirrel1

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Sometimes it's natural to become super-confrontational regarding things you feel strongly about.

It's always good to remember that there are always two sides to every story and that the other person may feel just as strongly about their side.

Nothing wrong with a healthy back-and-forth on each other's views.
 
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I tend to battle with self-hatred and lack of confidence socially, as well as self-esteem issues. I really need to conquer those and hold my head up higher. I try to encourage others who have the same issues and make them feel better about themselves.

Sometimes I feel like it makes me a hypocrite because I need to practice what I preach.
 

LaFemme

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At work, I’m trying to overcome my trauma of “being called into the office” by management. I worked for 12 years for a twisted director who had what we called the ‘shit chair’. She’d yell and scream at us, diagnose us with mental illness, threaten to fire us, bully us endlessly, lie, it was brutal. Never got called to the office for good stuff. (Why stay? To protect my staff and the rest of the people who worked there. Took me a year to carefully plan my secret exit.)

Anyway, I still get almost sick when management calls me for a meeting. Even yesterday, one of my managers asked me to go for lunch next week and I almost had a heart attack. I asked if it was because I did a bad job with my project last week? She laughed and said, no! She just wanted to hang out one on one to talk about it and thought getting out and having lunch would be fun.

I really need to keep working on my attitude. I’ve been there for over five years. They love me. I work on this all the time, but it’s just so tough.
 

Squirrel1

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At work, I’m trying to overcome my trauma of “being called into the office” by management. I worked for 12 years for a twisted director who had what we called the ‘shit chair’. She’d yell and scream at us, diagnose us with mental illness, threaten to fire us, bully us endlessly, lie, it was brutal. Never got called to the office for good stuff. (Why stay? To protect my staff and the rest of the people who worked there. Took me a year to carefully plan my secret exit.)

Anyway, I still get almost sick when management calls me for a meeting. Even yesterday, one of my managers asked me to go for lunch next week and I almost had a heart attack. I asked if it was because I did a bad job with my project last week? She laughed and said, no! She just wanted to hang out one on one to talk about it and thought getting out and having lunch would be fun.

I really need to keep working on my attitude. I’ve been there for over five years. They love me. I work on this all the time, but it’s just so tough.
It's really hard, after being subjected to bad management for years, to not suspect things from your new management.
 

LaFemme

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It's really hard, after being subjected to bad management for years, to not suspect things from your new management.
It really is. And I felt bad for leaving. Things really changed for the worse after I left, but I just couldn’t stay. 12 years of abuse, being used and unappreciated - I had to go where I thought I’d be of better use. And I’m so happy where I am.

Still, it’s hard to get over those years of manipulation and bullying.
 

Murphys

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At work, I’m trying to overcome my trauma of “being called into the office” by management. I worked for 12 years for a twisted director who had what we called the ‘shit chair’. She’d yell and scream at us, diagnose us with mental illness, threaten to fire us, bully us endlessly, lie, it was brutal. Never got called to the office for good stuff. (Why stay? To protect my staff and the rest of the people who worked there. Took me a year to carefully plan my secret exit.)

Anyway, I still get almost sick when management calls me for a meeting. Even yesterday, one of my managers asked me to go for lunch next week and I almost had a heart attack. I asked if it was because I did a bad job with my project last week? She laughed and said, no! She just wanted to hang out one on one to talk about it and thought getting out and having lunch would be fun.

I really need to keep working on my attitude. I’ve been there for over five years. They love me. I work on this all the time, but it’s just so tough.

The impact of a “bad” manager is underrated. I often use the oil-in-a-bucket of water as an example: much like one drop of oil in a bucket of water, a bad manager can completely contaminate the environment.

Having been on the receiving end of sexual harassment by a manager, its effects are still felt, though the effects do lessen as time passes. However, the negative emotions are never too far from the surface. I have to catch myself not getting defensive when someone wants to give me honest and needed constructive feedback. The moment someone wants to give me feedback, I can feel my back get up, my heart rate increase, etc. And such a reaction isn’t always warranted: there are good bosses out there who just want to help you do your job and are just trying to help steer you in the right direction. I have to work to keep that in mind.
 
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693987

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My friends aren't going to be bothered by me trying to keep in touch. Yes, they're busy. Yes, they have their own lives. I'm not imposing with a quick hello and asking how they're doing. Stop that shit. There's a distinct difference between that kind of behavior and letting all the stresses in my life rain all over everyone close in my life. You can say hi to people without having a clear conversation topic in mind or a particular need. :no_mouth:
 
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516778

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A thread for self reflection and character improvement.

Something I don't really enjoy about myself and my character, I am Way too confrontational. I have a hard time not being too expressive when I disagree with someone, or when someone does something that irritates me.

Even here, sometimes when I really should just report and move on I feel compelled to make my position known and it isn't always productive.

I'm trying to remind myself when I catch me being that way that sometimes I need to just stop, breath, and accept that I can move along and everything will be fine.

Feel free to share things you might be trying to improve about yourself. Unless you know... You're perfect :p:bomb:


I really wish I was more like you i wish i was more confrontational and more expressive when it comes to how I'm treated and how I feel like I've been treated.
I am very shy, reserved, and quiet I spend a lot of time by myself...very loner-ish type of deal. I am a INFJ type(if you believe in that kind of stuff) that really needs my alone time to unwind.

I wish I wasn't like that....definitely more extroverted and verbally expressive.
And add a dab or two of being able to defend myself(physically) in case some shit pops off.
 
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meningreentights

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I don't worry too much about what is out of my control. It really drives control freaks nuts.
People worry so much about what is out of their control. The news media feeds on it. If they can get you angry or afraid, their viewership goes up. Then, they can charge higher rates for advertisement. Personally, I think most of what is published as news these days is just a twisted pile of
tenor.gif
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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I really wish I was more like you i wish i was more confrontational and more expressive when it comes to how I'm treated and how I feel like I've been treated.
I am very shy, reserved, and quiet I spend a lot of time by myself...very loner-ish type of deal. I am a INFJ type(if you believe in that kind of stuff) that really needs my alone time to unwind.

I wish I wasn't like that....definitely more extroverted and verbally expressive.
And add a dab or two of being able to defend myself(physically) in case some shit pops off.

No. You don't want to be like me.

Look at this thread and tell me where it's gotten me?

Has Your Dad Ever Commented On Your Penis Size?

I knew I shouldn't have even posted, but I did and didn't delete in time. I accomplished nothing, knew it was gonna happen, and did it anyway.

It's fucking annoying to be me. I wish I could just move on, but no. I have to go and waste all that time knowing that it was gonna get nowhere.

I piss myself off almost as much as the people telling me the shit they did in that thread .
 
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1345864

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The impact of a “bad” manager is underrated. I often use the oil-in-a-bucket of water as an example: much like one drop of oil in a bucket of water, a bad manager can completely contaminate the environment.

Having been on the receiving end of sexual harassment by a manager, its effects are still felt, though the effects do lessen as time passes. However, the negative emotions are never too far from the surface. I have to catch myself not getting defensive when someone wants to give me honest and needed constructive feedback. The moment someone wants to give me feedback, I can feel my back get up, my heart rate increase, etc. And such a reaction isn’t always warranted: there are good bosses out there who just want to help you do your job and are just trying to help steer you in the right direction. I have to work to keep that in mind.

Absolutely true. Spot on. We have a bad manager at my work. All the hallmarks of a shitty manager: takes no personal responsibility for his actions, petty, vindictive, and incompetent. Company is scared to fire him because he's threatened loudly to sue. The misery he brings is palpable on all levels of the workplace.

I have hope he'll bite the dust soon though. Bad management really can make or break a place, even if the rank and file are all exceptional, salt of the earth types.
 
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meningreentights

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Absolutely true. Spot on. We have a bad manager at my work. All the hallmarks of a shitty manager: takes no personal responsibility for his actions, petty, vindictive, and incompetent. Company is scared to fire him because he's threatened loudly to sue. The misery he brings is palpable on all levels of the workplace.

I have hope he'll bite the dust soon though. Bad management really can make or break a place, even if the rank and file are all exceptional, salt of the earth types.
 
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516778

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No. You don't want to be like me.

Look at this thread and tell me where it's gotten me?

Has Your Dad Ever Commented On Your Penis Size?

I knew I shouldn't have even posted, but I did and didn't delete in time. I accomplished nothing, knew it was gonna happen, and did it anyway.

It's fucking annoying to be me. I wish I could just move on, but no. I have to go and waste all that time knowing that it was gonna get nowhere.

I piss myself off almost as much as the people telling me the shit they did in that thread .


Yikes.
I do tend to stay out of ridiculous topics like that but I appreciate your willingness to take on that fight however insane the topic is.