Self-Serving Topic #72

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by steve319, May 22, 2005.

  1. steve319

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    In the fine LPSG tradition of big, dramatic, self-serving, personality-driven topics, let me unveil my own! :evilgrin:

    *thunder cracks*

    Tomorrow morning a well-known but unnamed arch fiend will be leaving town to spend the week in the booming metropolis of Raleigh. Why should anyone care?

    Impudent whelps! :grr: *boom*

    I'll give you two reasons. First of all, with your local blackhearted devil gone for a few days, there will be a dearth of evil here, so I'm counting on you guys to step up to the plate and fill that void of villainy with deeds so dastardly and nasty that the reverberations will be felt for days to come. I'm counting on the more evil members to turn it up a notch (you know who you are).

    Second reason it matters at all? Because I'll miss you guys! :evilfrown:

    In the short time I've been here at LPSG I've learned some interesting (and disturbing) facts, read some great tales, seen human compassion in action to boost those in need (not so much fun for a devil), watched tempers flare with impunity (soothing to the inner demon), laughed aloud at the wit on display, and grown as a person in my understanding and appreciation of the variety of mankind. Plus, and this is anathema to us evil types, I think I've made a few friends along the way. (Thanks, guys, for making the new monster on the block feel welcome!)

    How will I begin to fill my day without being able to post something pithy in the "getting to know you" thread? Without rolling my eyes and smiling at the clumsy flirtations? Without deflating the balloons of the super-serious and humor-impaired (and the grammar sticklers)? Without ducking for cover at the turn-on-a-dime mood swings?

    Alas, I shall be forced to struggle on and wonder what new twists of maladaptive behavior are occurring at LPSG in my absence. *sigh*:evilfrown:

    So until my triumphant return (no doubt with hordes of evil underlings in tow, bent on bringing the world to its knees, etc.), be sure to do everything that I wouldn't do! :evilgrin:

    *vanishes in a puff of smoke*
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    *crosses fingers behind back*

    Don't worry about a thing, Steve-o. In your evil honor we promise not to post a thing while you're gone.

    B)
     
  3. major_7

    major_7 New Member

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    OMG. I can only pray that someone warned the town of Raleigh in time.
     
  4. Freddie53

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    So now we know who the evil one here is on this forum. Crossing fingers behind back, Pecker I thought you had more character then that. I myself would of course neer ahem, er, cross my fingers behind my back.

    Steve, have fun and of course the scouts are out now looking for evil for all of us to get into. :evilgrin: Even Pecker :evilgrin: :evilgrin:
     
  5. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Is the cat away yet?

    * smells cheese *
     
  6. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    So do I. Alright, everyone: who cut the cheese?
     
  7. dolf250

    dolf250 New Member

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    Steve;

    I have never known anybody who has underlings. I have, however always wanted to ask a question of a person who has them. Ever since hearing Conrad Black (who used to be a major media mogul in Canada, and coincidentally, a complete ass) blame his “under-underlings” for a “mistake” that netted him millions illegally I have wanted ask somebody who has underlings a question; If it is possible to have underlings and under underlings is there such a position as an uber-underling? If so, how do I go about getting a job as an uber-underling? I figure that anybody who would publicly refer to employees as underlings must have a position in your evil empire and that you may put in a good word with Mr. Black for me to ensure my elevated status as an uber-underling (if the position does, as I suspect, exist.)
     
  8. SpiceboyMJ

    SpiceboyMJ New Member

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    Well, damn! I live in Raleigh and I certainly would have liked a warning! :lol: Hope you enjoy your stay here and we look forward to your return to LPSG as well!
     
  9. Freddie53

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    So do I. Alright, everyone: who cut the cheese?
    [post=314000]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]
    The person who smelt it dealt it.
     
  10. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Go here and turn up the sound.

    (Hold your breath!)
     
  11. steve319

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    Dolf:

    Thank you for your interest in the project. It's always nice to know that you have admirers among the unsuspecting populace.

    I have to admit, dolf, that the whole underling thing is very overrated in my experience. Recruitment drives usually bring out the idiots, and training can be very costly unless you're just reprogramming their brains with some sort of hive consciousness or something like that and already have the hardware/software in place. But it only takes one glitch to bring the whole evil army down, so that's no good. :evilfrown:

    Look at Heaven's Gate, you know?

    I've pretty much decided that if you're going to go the underling route, you have to breed them yourself from scratch and control all of the factors. Otherwise, no telling what you get. So I'm investing funds (ill-gotten ones, of course :evilgrin:) in a breeding facility. One word of warning, though: such an endeavor is very dependent on the quality of mad scientists you get for R & D and to man the place, though, let me tell you.

    Not familiar with this Mr. Black (great name for an evil executive, though), so I can't speak to his hiring policies, but I would have to point out that having a hierarchy of underlings sort of defeats the whole purpose. An uber-underling dilutes the authority of the evil ruler of all, you know? There's no better way to encourage a bloody coup than to give one underling power over the rest. But, again, that's my own experience.

    Good luck on your evil intents!

    Yours,
    Steve
     
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