Self Worth

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tigerwolf: I agree with you about teachers constantly harassing you that you're not doing your best. I was well above average intelligence, and rather than the people at my school realizing that I wasn't putting forth any effort because of my home life at the time and such, they decide to just constantly send home notes saying they expected better of me etc.

(Funny, I would get 100's on tests and such, just never bothered doing homework or caring about it.)

In my opinion, you seem like a very intelligent guy to start with, so I don't think you have anything to worry about.

 

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feared: self-worth is one of the most important things a man can have. i grew up in a large family also, and we weren't that well off (hand-me-downs came often), but my parents taught me that it doesnt matter whats outside, its what you've got inside you that really matters.

i dont base self-worth on my dick, hell no. i base it on what i've done with myself; i've worked since i was 13 and i brought myself above the poverty line, and i've worked ever since for the things that i've wanted. its paid off for me. i'm in a job i love, i drive a nice car and i own my own house. i also have a large penis, but why base pride and self-worth on a genetic disposition that i had no control over? i could've been born with the future holding a 4" dick, or a 40" one. thankfully i was born with neither.

(my tirade is almost over, bear with me)

the point is, self-worth isn't what you're born into or what people think of you, its what you live through, and its what you think of yourself.

(if that made sense, congratulations me. if not, feel free to message me and bitch me out about my bad grammar [of which i hope i have none, considering i'm an english teacher]).

 

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joe: So true, I enjoyd you post which I never read these kind of dribble but this made sense. Thanks

 

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nacard01: One of the best posts I have ever read feared.
I agree with you.
I hold some of the same things true.
But mine involves the military.

Kermit
<salutes feared>

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

You know, nowadays, it's so much for everyone if we label problem children as just that -- that they're acting out, that it needs to be remedied, etc. What I'm saying is, at least in the Kentucky school systems, it's difficult to find teachers who can read and know about children to determine (or even wonder) if there's something going on in the home.

I've been reading a lot about systems theory, that essentially stressors and anxieties permeate through a family system. If my little sister were acting out in class and making disruptions constantly, my mother would be worth investigating. Is she having a current conflict with her live-in boyfriend? When I'm around, everything seems fine, but if I leave, is the tension significantly mounted? Or, am I a "buffer" -- that I keep everything calm?

Anyway, just thought I'd give a shout to the teachers who think it's better to send home a note than to ask, "Is there something on your mind?"

 

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Tender: wow Dee that is so very true.
if a child is having trouble at home, they are sure not going to care what happens to them at school.
less likey to have a focused mind as far as learning and behaving and even showing their true personality.

same is true of adults having trouble at home.
i have seen men who work with my husband, going through divorce, ect, and let me tell ya- they get nothing done.
they hardly care if they even GO to work, they are just wanting their hurts fixed....
it is hard to see them going through that stuff...

Tender

 

[Pecker]

Unfortunately these days, if a child is having problems at school that disrupt the structure of the class, it is likely that the parents of the child are going to be encouraged to give the kid some medication (i.e. Ritalin) ASAP.

I have a nephew (now 9) who is included in that scenario. He's talkative, active and stubborn. His mother, a nursing student, at first refused to allow her son to be medicated. Finally, after pressure from school principals and M.D.'s, she reluctantly went that route. It didn't work. The city even began investigations into their family life.

To make a long story short, her son was finally diagnosed, by a specialist she sought out at her own expense, with Tourette's Syndrome. The Ritalin and its companion meds were thrown out and the boy is now getting the correct treatment for his condition. He's still talkative, active and stubborn, God bless him, but his teachers seem to be satisfied that there is a prescription of some sort in the Nurse's Office with his name on it.

With the loss of teacher authority in the classroom, and the resulting loss of respect by students and parents alike, instructors are forced to take the easy route to discipline: medicate the little bastards.

What a world we have become.

Pecker

(Welcome to hell....here's your accordion.)

 

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wvalady1968: [quote author=Pecker link=board=meetgreet;num=1065978028;start=40#46 date=10/24/03 at 05:20:12]
With the loss of teacher authority in the classroom, and the resulting loss of respect by students and parents alike, instructors are forced to take the easy route to discipline:  medicate the little bastards.

What a world we have become.

Pecker

[/quote]

So true! My dad's taught school for more than 30 years, and most people would be SO shocked at how kids act in the classroom. They get up and walk around and talk out loud whenever they want [usually several at once], and if the teachers say anything, they scream "YOU AREN'T MY BOSS! GET OUT OF MY FACE!"

When teachers send the worst offenders to the office for discipline, the administration very seldom does anything useful. They do NOT back up the teachers and demand a sane level of behavior from the students. They're too afraid of lawsuits, because, inevitably, the students who are jerks have parents who are even worse.

Educators are desperately searching for any solution. Unfortunately, they aren't allowed to address the real root problem: students [and people in general] are getting ruder and more egocentric. The disruptive students screw things up for the teachers and those students who do want to learn.

I'm waiting for the day when a group of parents files a class action suit against the admin of a school because the policies disrupt the learning process for their kids. Think it'll ever happen?

 

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tracksuitboy: Mr Pecker, your post of 12th October gave me goosebumps. It shows there is more to big-dicked guys than being a guy with a big dick! Thank you.

 

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tracksuitboy: [quote author=wvalady1968 link=board=meetgreet;num=1065978028;start=40#47 date=10/24/03 at 06:15:16]
I'm waiting for the day when a group of parents files a class action suit against the admin of a school because the policies disrupt the learning process for their kids. Think it'll ever happen?
[/quote]

No it will not happen; nor should it.  The parents have raised their kids to be like this and must take responsibility.  The more we give kids in the way of material goods, the more they expect and the less they appreciate everything.  Most of the kids today expect everything to come out of a box, everything is provided for them and they have to do nothing for themselves; the legacy of this is a generation who can't talk properly, can't spell *, can't interact and won't learn.  Of course this is a sweeping generalisation and I can't say every kid is like this but, unfortunately,  most are.  These kids will not grow up with any self-worth as they have will have no concept of it.  I realise that there are many young people using this board and I don't mean to insult you and I am sure you will not agree with me but this is how it appears to we older guys.

Blimey, I must sound like a Grumpy Old Man (sorry!).

TSB (G.O.M!)

* please note my spelling is British English as opposed to American English so don't complain!

 

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ORCABOMBER: Yeah Tracksuit, I agree with you compltely, I mean, there's respecting and there's not liking teachers with a vengence, but to be so aggrovative! That's something else isn't it? And our base-personalities are formed at home.

 

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wristthickxl: well I had an extraordinarily difficult childhood but it was my brain rather than my dick that got me through because I was what they called back then a gifted student......that said, as a gay/bisexual man, I do think that for many years my self-worth was tied up in my dick..I'm goodlooking and fit but when gay men see my dick they completely focus on that...men I couldn't get when clothed were drooling when I was naked...people even taking pictures on nude beaches, or when I was wearing a speedo....have a kind of complicated pscyhological relationship with my dick frankly...on the one hand, I can get almost any guy if at a sauna or the beach, etc....and that is a real kick..you don't have a lot of rejection..on the other hand they are there for the MEat and not for the ME...

 

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rikter8: I would generally say that I have no self worth.
I dont relate myself with my penis.
I view myself more like a worker ant...here to do a job, work, and thats about it.
Not reproduce, not flourish. Just do a job and then die.

The only reason I think I am here is to support my sister through life. (On the religious side)
I have to be here for my sister when my parents pass on to support, help if she needs me etc.
Other than that, I might as well be dead.
(Thats probably the only thing keeping me here)

And thats how I live my life. Not afraid of death, dying, and lately I would welcome it.

Not to swing a morbid side into this thread but just my thoughts.
C

 

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Inwood: Quite frankly you sound like a friend from long ago who commited suicide. He basically said goodbye to everyone by apologizing for some forgotten issues that apparently only weighed on him.

There are no words said by someone else that can soothe your feelings. But I would suggest you think about seeking professional help to try to come to terms with whatever your real feelings might be that cause you to feel death is something to be welcomed. Not that it isn't...it's just at 25 it may not be the time to embrace it.

But if you are able to help your sister in some way then you do have worth. It may not be exactly what you're looking for but it's a place to start. Hope it works out.

 

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7x6andchg: C-

And please know you always have someone to talk to here..both personally and board-wise.

Paul
7x6&C

 

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awellhungboi: Rikter, please know that things can get better. Someone once said to me, at the very darkest moment in my life, "There's a lot of help out there." And, at the time I was like "Pssh--right." But she was right, and I was fortunate to find the help I needed.

I really admire the honesty of your post, and I think it takes a lot of balls to reach out like that. I'm glad you're here. You're not alone, or insignificant. Who knows why any of us are here, ultimately--but, I think we're all connected in ways that maybe we don't realize. I'm just babbling, really, and I guess all I really want to say is you have a lot of support and friends here.

If things ever get too bad, please read this:
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
it helped me one long, dark night.

Peace, and as Paul said, please know my IM is always open too. For any reason, just to shoot the shit, or say hi, or anything.

 

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H8Monga: [quote author=tracksuitboy link=board=meetgreet;num=1065978028;start=40#49 date=10/24/03 at 10:02:49]


* please note my spelling is British English as opposed to American English so don't complain! [/quote]

*drives topic off its path*

Why are you apologizing? It was the British language first... we Americans had to twist things around and stuff... don't worry we still understand.

 

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rainfletcher: Rikter,

For what it's worth, I can very, very much relate to where you are. I seem to go in cycles, and end up with the same sort of sentiments as you expressed in your post. There are many times when life just feels so pointless. I one time walked into a tattoo shop with the intention of getting 'living is a shitty way to get through life' tattooed. That's been my philosophy as often as it has not been.

I can't and won't pretend to say anything to improve your outlook. But if you want to talk with someone who feels or has felt the same way, please feel free to IM me.

 

[Pappy]

To me the size of your penis has nothing to do with your self worth.
You want to talk to someone that has low self esteem and a low opinion of their own self worth??? Talk to a child that has been abused either physically, emotionally or sexually. I worked nine years with Social Services and Juvenile Justice. Same type of kids just different circumstances. One kid that comes to mind was 16 and in a foster home. The foster parents married 28 year old daughter repeatedly raped this child. The child was already screwed up as he was in foster care because he had been physically and sexually abused at home all his life. When he was removed from the foster home he had a hard time dealing with it because he was still under the impression that he had done something wrong. I spent many long hours with him talking and trying to convince him that he was a worthy person and he could do whatever he wanted to do in life. At last account he was working and going to college and trying to make something of himself.

I could tell you about hundreds of kids that I have dealt with and believe me some of their stories would make you sick.

 

[headbang8]

Ecchi&#39;s recent courageous post reminded me of this thread form a couple of years ago. Just thought I&#39;d bump it to the top, and see how everyone&#39;s trucking with these issues.

Oh, and if you haven&#39;t read it, Pecker penned a masterpiece in the fourth message.

hb8