"Sell My Stuff"

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Countryguy63, Nov 8, 2011.

  1. Countryguy63

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    One lazy Sunday morning, the wife and I were quiet and thoughtful, sitting around the breakfast table, when I said to her

    "When I die, sell all of my tools and stuff, right away"

    "Now, why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.

    I replied, "I figure that a woman as fine as yourself would eventually remarry, and I don't want some other asshole using my stuff.

    She looked at me intently and said "What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"
     
  2. thadjock

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    Ar,ar,...ar...ar...arrrr
     
  3. vince

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    You know what a women does to her asshole every morning don't you?

    Wakes him up, packs him a lunch, and kisses him goodbye.
     
  4. D_JohnQPubic

    D_JohnQPubic New Member

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    The local pub was having a contest for the best toast, and when Murphy's turn came up he raised his glass and said, "Here's to spendin' the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife." The crowd laughed as they knew Murphy's wife was a devout woman who wouldn't approve, and so they voted Murphy the winner. When he got home that night, he told his wife that he had won, and she asked him what he'd said. "Here's to spendin' the rest of me life, kneelin' in church, beside me wife." he replied.

    The next day, as Mrs. Murphy was walking down the street, she bumped into one of her husband's drinking buddies. As he tipped his cap he asked wryly, "So, did you hear about ol' Murph winnin' the toastin' contest at the pub, last night?"

    "Yes," she replied, "but I'm a bit puzzled by it. He's only been there twice. The first time he fell asleep, and the last time, I had to pull his ears to make him come."
     
  5. parchissi

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    oh my.......
     
  6. D_JohnQPubic

    D_JohnQPubic New Member

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    Hmm... Sorry CountryGuy, rather than starting a new thread for the Murphy joke I accidentally added to yours.
     
  7. Countryguy63

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    All Good :wink:. Shoot, I don't think that's a half bad idea. I mean how many "LOL's" can be replied to a single joke?? :smile:
     
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